2 easy ways to become more positive, and they’re not what you think…

Hello Gorgeous,

As I write this, I’m officially 19 weeks pregnant as of yesterday and am slowly starting to get my energy back. Fitness has always been important to me and being too tired to move my body has been one of the hardest challenges of pregnancy so far. The good news is that I’m starting to get out for power walks, jogs, and now finally the gym for the first time this morning! Hallelujah! Pregnancy has turned a corner!

As I was leaving the gym this morning, I was thinking how good it felt to move my body, what a beautiful morning it was, and feeling great about life in general.

However this positivity was not how I was feeling even a few short weeks before.

I was totally noticing everything that was not great: my shitty sleep, the never ending exhaustion, mourning the loss of control and my “freedom,” not having clothes that fit anymore, the weird things happening to my body, and all the things I wanted to do but didn’t have the energy for.

I was totally looking at the world through a negativity bias.

This is when we tend to give more weight to negative information than the positive.

As I understand it, negativity bias is a very primal way of thinking because its purpose at one point was to keep us out of danger.

After all, thousands of years ago we needed to scan our environment all the time to keep us safe. If we heard rustling in the jungle and didn’t consider it a potential threat we had the real risk of being eaten by something.

Even though we don’t have the same kinds of threats anymore, we still have inherited a tendency to look for what’s wrong, rather than what’s right.

This brings me to a study I heard on CBC a while ago with pessimists, and optimists, and their accuracy at determining outcomes.

So, how accurate were each group at predicting outcomes?

The pessimists, were waaaaay more accurate at predicting outcomes. They saw themselves more accurately and did better overall.

But here’s the interesting part: the optimists were happier overall in life.

It reminded me of something I often think about when I’m having an argument: Would you rather be happy, or right?

I don’t know about you, but I choose happy any day!

How do we start to lean more to a happiness bias instead of a negative one?

Here are 2 easy-peasy ways, and probably not what you think:

  1. Savour the good moments. Spending a little bit of time everyday recounting the positive moments of your day and savouring them, helps rewire your brain to look for the good. By remembering good moments and feeling them, makes our brains and bodies feel like it’s happening all over again which is like a double benefit to us.
  2. Conscious acts of kindness. This can be as simple as emailing someone to thank them for something you are grateful for or consciously making someone’s life better such as doing something kind just for the sake of it. Doing good, makes us feel good. Simple as that!

The best part of feeling good, is to share it! Tell me about a positive moment in your day or your conscious act of kindness either in the Soul Sisterhood or below in the comments. While you’re at it, share with us your tricks for staying positive.

Oh! One more way to get bonus positivity points? Share the good stuff around! So feel free to share this email to all your friends, on Facebook, Twitter, you name it! Happiness can only increase by being shared.

Thank you for being a part of my community and being the beautiful light that you are. I often imagine what a different world we would live in if we all spent more time on things that make us happy, instead of just busy. You are a part of that shift, and I love you for it!

Love and Light,

t

How to find your direction when you’re stuck.

Hello Gorgeous,

I hope you enjoyed some sunshine this last weekend and had a chance to do something fun for yourself.

I’m officially 18 weeks prego yesterday and am finally starting to gain some energy back to move my body and get outside. Hooray! Damn it feels good to get out and MOVE again!

Since I’ve announced my pregnancy, I’ve got a LOT of responses…thank you so much, you sure know how to make a gal feel loved! Making a baby is a miraculous and scary thing and I’m so over-the-moon thrilled to have your support.

Last week was also the beginning of the Summer Soul Strategy Sessions, and wow, we have an incredible group of women once again! They have inspired this post, so thank you beautiful ladies.

One thing I heard over and over again last week was regarding direction and feeling stuck.

This post isn’t going to be about the whole process of finding direction and clarity, you can do that in my free Clarity Crash Course, but it is about the next most important step:

Action.

How many of us believe the answers lie outside of ourselves?

We get another book, take another course, watch another webinar, or some other self-improvement nonsense?

Don’t feel bad, I’ve done it too.

We all do, and when we’re stuck we’re ready to do just about anything to get unstuck…except get moving.

It’s easier to hope some guru has the magic answer of what to do with your life and then follow their step by step process to “live-your-dream-life-where-nothing-bad-will-ever-happen-ever-again-because-there’s-a-picture-of-a-young-beautiful-woman-smiling-with-her-arms-spread-wide-in-a-field-with-beams-of-sunshine.”

But it’s a crock.

You are a unique special individual and there has only ever been one of you in all of time.

So, how could a one-size-fits-all solution possibly work?

Direction is a verb that’s done by taking action.

Where we often get stuck, is we believe that there IS a singular solution and our job is to figure out what that ONE way is to be happy.

It sounds a lot like perfection doesn’t it? The belief that there is one perfect way only and you have to keep striving until you find it even though it doesn’t even exist.

It’s kind of crazy.

It would be a very sad joke from the universe if we were born with one shot at a short little life to go after our one possibility of happiness or it was all wasted.

The truth is there are many wonderful and fulfilling directions any of us could take that would lead to happiness and contentment.

You will find which ones resonate with you but getting out there and DOING stuff, not PLANNING to do stuff.

We don’t even know what makes us happy in the first place until we’ve done it.

If there’s one general statement I can say about finding your direction it’s this:

Chase your happiness.

Happiness will lead you to your passions and your purpose.

Chasing it means that you are actively taking action and moving in that direction.

There is no one right direction, no matter what Kool-Aid someone is trying to sell you. That’s just based on scarcity and fear, and we already have enough of that.

So here’s my challenge for you:

Tell me what makes you truly happy, and share with me what 3 things you are going to do to fulfill that happiness either below in the comments, or in the Soul Sisterhood Facebook group.

*Don’t forget to schedule that shit in, or it won’t happen, and why wait another week, year, or decade? Do it now.

So, I want to hear from you now! Do you know your direction? Do you even believe in a direction? Or do you just want to talk more about my pregnancy? That’s cool too! Tell me all about it below.

Make today a good one, and don’t forget to #daretobeyou!

Love and Light,

t

What do handstands and qualifications have to do with each other?

As a yoga teacher, I will often throw in challenging poses like handstands that I know are going to be too difficult for most of the people to master easily.

No, not because I’m mean and I want to see them fail, but because I think it’s good to get used to the feel and prep of harder poses so eventually they will be able to do them.

Almost every time though, there’s a few students who sit on the floor and just watch no matter how many beginner steps I give them.

They sit there contentedly smiling and cheering students on who are trying and failing, but never actually attempting it themselves, believing it’s not for them.

I believe that to grow we must be willing to try things that challenge us and see what we can do even if we suck at it, and yoga is no exception.

So when I ask the students on the floor why aren’t they trying, it’s rarely because of an injury, it’s because they believe they aren’t qualified yet.

These are the most common excuses I hear:

I’m not strong enough yet.

I don’t think I can do it.

I’m not ready to try it yet.

I’m scared.

No shit, so is everyone else.

But instead of even testing to see if they can, they wait on the sidelines until they’re going to feeeeel ready for it.

Here’s the thing, we will never feel ready or qualified enough for the things life throws at us.

Ready is a myth, and a shitty excuse for not participating in your life.

I am also willing to bet my car (don’t be too excited, it’s not that awesome) that these same people live their whole lives sitting on the sidelines waiting, and we are all the person at different times in our lives.

We watch opportunities slip through our fingers to protect ourselves so we don’t have to be uncomfortable or get hurt.

But then we never fully engage with life, and will be left with regret and a whole pile of should haves.

We want our dream vacation to be perfect so we put it off until all the details are just right and everything is all figured out and it may be YEARS before that happens. But at least it will be perfect, right?

We put off sharing our skills until we hone them to perfection so we don’t make a mistake so no one finds out that we don’t actually know enough and don’t really deserve to be doing it.

We don’t take the first steps in building a business because we need to get the right website up first even though we don’t know what that would be but at least it would make us look like we know what we’re doing.

We don’t take the training we want because we don’t know enough first and are afraid of looking stupid in front of others believing of course everyone else would know more than us.

We want to say no, but not yet, because even though we’re exhausted and spread way too thing already, we don’t want to burn any bridges or piss anyone off.

We don’t start working out because we don’t know what we’re doing and certainly don’t want everyone else to know that we’re new at this.

We don’t go for the promotion because we don’t have 100% percent of the skills yet so there’s no point even trying.

The deepest learning from life is not from a book explaining theory, it’s from jumping in and figuring shit out.

You don’t have to do this recklessly, but it does mean getting your hands dirty, understanding that failure is not a character flaw, and being a little vulnerable.

Aaand the rewards? Emotional resilience (one of the markers for happiness), confidence (which can only be attained by doing things that are hard), and acquiring abilities faster than your peers (you will be ahead of the game).

You are not put on this earth to make people like you, or even to not look stupid, you are here to make a dent in the universe and its impossible watching from the sidelines.

Go on, jump in and see what you can do!

I want to hear from you now. Do you like handstands, and what did it take for you to try it? What have you done that was hard, but you jumped in anyways? Where have you been waiting in your life until you were “ready”? Tell me all about it below!

Dare to be you.

Love and Light,

t

A simple tweak that changes everything

Hello Gorgeous,

One thing I read everywhere these days is why mindsets are important and rightfully so.

A mindset is your attitude, or inclination towards something. It shapes your beliefs of what is possible and how you will respond through your behavior.

As an entrepreneur, the popular one in my circles is money mindsets, and eeeeeeeveryone is trying to sell entrepreneurs a positive money mindset as a way to make more money.

A poor money mindset for entrepreneurs shatters their confidence, limits their earning potential, and eventually will lead to burn out.

A positive money mindset creates possibility, action, and limitless earning potential.

The customer also benefits by often getting better service and products from someone who is excited and feels fresh about their work.

However, you don’t have to be an entrepreneur to have mindsets.

Mindsets are alive in everything we think and do.

The most common complaints I hear from women is that they feel overwhelmed, suffer from anxiety, and feel like they are treading water.

In the Soul Strategy Sessions we start early with mindset because this is one of the most powerful agents of change.

Everything begins with your thoughts.

Watch your thoughts; they become your words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become your character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
– Lao Tzu

Try this:

Right now grab a pen and paper and write down your biggest complaint about your life. Then write down what have you been believing about this situation. (Do you feel it’s out of your hands? Is it up to someone else? Are you worried about how others will see you? Is it too late? Are you waiting for something?) Then ask yourself: Is this actually true? If not, you’ve unmasked one of your beliefs that is contributing to your complaint. If you believe it to be true, what is in your power to begin to change your situation now? 

Once you complete this, tell me about what you discovered in the comments below.

Creating the right mindset puts you in control of your destiny which is empowering, exhilarating, and anything becomes possible.

It’s a simple tweak, and it is life altering.

This is why entrepreneurs can spend thousands of dollars to shift from a scarcity mindset to a more lucrative money mindset. It can be the difference between struggling to bring in cash to making tens of thousands aaaaaand having the life they want in the process.

If you’re treading water, it’s the difference of years of anxiety to becoming powerful and confident in your life.

With the right mindset:

You will be more confident in who you are, your choices, and your direction.

You will see yourself and your life more powerfully.

You will get into action with more ease to create the life you want. 

That’s huge, and the results are yours forever.

There’s only two weeks left before the next round of Soul Strategy begins and it’s filling up fast.

I love hearing from you, so go ahead and email me for more information or check out my website to learn more and register. 

If you know of a fabulous gal who needs to know about this, please forward this to them or share on social media by clicking the buttons below. 

I hope you are enjoying an incredible long weekend and I look forward to hearing from you soon!

Dare to be you. 

Love and Light,
t

born through fire

Hello Gorgeous,

Last week I shared on my blog a quote from J.K. Rowling: Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.

So in the last round of Soul Strategy I shared a little bit of my history, my story of what shaped me into the woman I am today.

Just like your life, mine has scars, tragedies, and challenges…and for me some of it wasn’t pretty.

As Carl Jung famously quoted: I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.

I am definitely not what happened to me, I created the woman I am today and I am proof that you can too.

It surprised women in the group, and a few of them said to me: I thought you would have been born this way, happy, positive and confident!

Not a chance.

In fact most people I know who are confident, positive, and resilient, are that way because they’ve faced things that were hard and fought their way to the other side.

Confident strong people are born through fire, not through the womb. Click to Tweet that if you like.

The science behind confidence (and happiness for that matter) is 50% nature or genetic, and 50% nurture or within your control to change.

What that means for you is that by changing your behavior you will change how you are, and you will change your life.

In the Soul Strategy Sessions you will learn specific mindsets, coupled with behaviors to start creating the woman you want to be in a life you want to live.

Just imagine how your life would be different if you could say no without guilt, be clear on your purpose, have tools to get you moving when fear rears its ugly head, or even just have a set time to ask yourself the big questions about life and understand what you really want?

You will stop just thinking about it and get into action, and truly that’s the only way change happens and where confidence is born.

“Tina’s coaching gave me the tools to turn thoughts into action.” – Lucinda Taylor, B.Sc, Information Technology 

You will uncover your true core values and become laser focused.

“The Soul Strategy Sessions have empowered me to pursue my goals with focus and confidence. With the support of your soul sisters and Tina’s guidance and teaching you are able to uncover a clear path to success and live life to the fullest.” –Carly Graham, Graduate Student

You will my best tools for moving past fear and into confidence.

“Because of this community, I was able to face my fears, challenge my limited thinking as well as my behaviors that do not help me attain my goals in life. I have found my inner power through the encouragement and compassion from Tina and the wonderful women that I journeyed with during this session.” – Suzanne Hehn–Social Worker

You will be more confident, focused, and more supported than ever with an incredible group of women who are just like you.

I absolutely loved my Soul Strategies class that I had taken with Tina and 15 lovely women that I am now proud to call my Soul Sistas. It was an empowering experience that I’m forever grateful for.
Calynda Triffo, The Wireless Age

“I have learned to set accurate goals for myself, set deadlines, and think in a more positive way, a more courageous way. I was able to see that if I desire something and I express it in words, set deadlines, think positively, and take action steps, anything is possible.” Sarah Wells- BSW

The next session starts June 2nd and it’s already half full!

The Soul Strategy Sessions work because it’s not about theory.

You’ve probably already read lots of books of how to live better, watched TED talks, and done some work on your own.

So why hasn’t it worked so far?

Theory and insight is nothing without action.

The Soul Strategy Sessions shifts your mindset and changes how you think while getting into action.

THAT is where long lasting results happen, and where you become the boss, the creator, and the architect of your life.

In addition to the incredible transformation above, you will also be invited to join us in the Soul Sisterhood Facebook group, become a part of an 8 week private Facebook group with your Soul Sisters, and have a chance to win some of my favorite things!

Want to learn more? Click here for the rest of the goods.

Growth is uncomfortable, and you don’t have to do this alone. You can have support, learn tools that really work, and get lasting results while having a blast along the way!

Dare to be you.

Love and Light,

t

rock bottom as a path to your light

Hello Gorgeous,

Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life. – J.K. Rowling

I saw this quote this morning and it spoke to me in a way I had to speak to you.

Rock bottom is the most uncomfortable place to be.

It’s dark and illuminates that darkest parts of ourselves: fear, loneliness, exhaustion and everything we don’t want to feel.

And yet…

At the bottom, comes a profound insight that has the power to transform your life.

For me, it was a realization in my darkest moments that no one can save me but me.

I knew in my bones that if I continued the way I was going I would end up with a life I did not want and become unrecognizable to myself.

So I, like many others, began at rock bottom with a choice that often starts with “no more” or “never again.”

Whether it’s leaving a bad relationship, kicking an addiction, quitting a job that sucks your soul, getting off a path that is harming you, or the decision to stop making yourself the enemy: it stars with a definitive decision.

This decision becomes your conviction and guiding light out of the darkness and back to yourself.

It is a promise to yourself tattooed on your heart which becomes the defining moment shifting you from where you were to where you are going.

This single decision will begin the rebuild your life, redefine who you are, what you stand for, and will be one of the most powerful and potent moments of your life.

No one can save you but you because ultimately you have to do the grunt work to get the reward, and it doesn’t mean you have to be alone while you do it.

Finding a tribe of supportive women makes the journey easier, more fun, and of course more meaningful…after all, we learn through each other’s stories.

When you find support in women who are on the other side of where you are, they can become your mentors and teachers.

This makes the rebuilding process easier and faster than if you were doing it alone, and seriously: who wants to struggle longer?

If you are in the process of rebuilding, you have a place with me and a tribe of incredible women who genuinely want to see you succeed in the Soul Strategy Sessions.

“Intention is powerful but ACTION is life changing. Tina’s enthusiasm for life, for coaching and for everyone she meets is an inspiration. Soul Strategies has facilitated so much motivation and direction in my life. Big dreams… HUGE DREAMS, that some of us were too scared to admit even to ourselves before this process are now coming true. These sessions have taken me to a place of no limits. I will carry this with me wherever I go.”
-Tara Rossouw, Yoga Teacher

Through our 8 weeks together, you will gain clarity on what you truly want in your life, what is important to you and how to start living aligned with who you truly are.

Then I met Tina!  And the lights went on, my prayers had been answered.  She offered the guidance I had been asking for years.  She knew how to help me dig down into the mud and pull out the gems that were hiding there.  And instantly things began turning around for me.  Direction, calm, insight, and the achievement of goals I had begun to think was going to be impossible.  I have achieved more in these past few months than I could have imagined before Tina, and achieved them with peace and calm.  I am now on the road to a whole new life – the one I want! “-Daphne Murphy, Breast Cancer Survivor  

You will gain valuable tools to support your growth and increase your confidence.

“The Soul Strategy Sessions have empowered me to pursue my goals with focus and confidence. With the support of your soul sisters and Tina’s guidance and teaching you are able to uncover a clear path to success and live life to the fullest.” –Carly Graham, Graduate Student

You will see the best parts of you shine through and start to live more authentically.

After 8 weeks, I left a much happier and confident person with a greater sense of clarity with my future vision.  Alongside some great easy to use tricks to get through some of those tough long days.   I continue to use a lot of what I have learned and have had a lot of comments from co-workers and friends and family that noticed my transition. “ – Tami Mitchell, Access Communications

If you are ready to start living on purpose, and becoming the boss of your own life, the next session starts next week, click here for more details and registration.

If you are ready to start living on purpose, and becoming the boss of your own life, the next session starts next week, click here for more details and registration.

Even if you don’t join us in the Soul Strategy Sessions, click here to join us in the Soul Sisterhood a free group to support and inspire you to shine brighter. 

Dare to be you. 

In Love and Light,
t

How Oprah taught me integrity

Hello Gorgeous,

To be honest, I had a totally different post planned for today, but I’ve decided to postpone it for next week because it will follow this one beautifully anyways.

When we know better, we do better.

That is what Oprah said to me as a child watching her show and it changed my life.

In its simplicity, the above statement says something beautifully.

We don’t all know better.

When we do, it’s our responsibility to change our behavior. Ignorance no longer counts.

It inspired compassion in me for people who may not have the same skill set as I do, and gave me the seeds of personal responsibility defining what it meant to act with integrity.

It didn’t take me very long to cultivate the compassion part, but responsibility is still something I am constantly practicing and working to getting better at.

Here’s a few ways I practice Oprah’s words:

1) Everyone is doing the best they can with what they got.

This is probably something else I heard on Oprah and I absolutely believe this to be true. Not everyone has the same life skills, yet everyone is doing the best they can whether you understand it or not.  Be compassionate for people on their journey to do better, we are all walking the same path.

2) Eliminate try and maybe from your vocabulary.

You don’t try to sit down, right? You sit do or you don’t. Same thing with maybe. This type of language usually means no or that you don’t want to do it, so just be honest and say no. It will save you from the resistance and others from being disappointed.

3) The first time you do it it’s a mistake, the second time it’s a choice.

If you keep making the same mistake, and know it’s a mistake, it’s no longer a mistake, there is some part of you that is choosing it. If you are constantly late, not following through on what you say you’re going to do, saying yes to everyone and then feeling resentful about it, repeatedly staying too long in the wrong relationships, you are choosing this. You can choose differently.

I know, I know, I learned integrity from Oprah, what are you going to do about it?

I would love to hear from you!

What are your best tips to act with integrity? Did Oprah change your life too? What words of wisdom changed your life? I love hearing from you, please share in the comments below.

Thank you for letting me into your life and your inbox, I am so grateful to have you in my life!

Share the light lovely: share this on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, and forward this to all of your friends. We are beacons for each other.

Dare to be you. 

Love and Light,

t

should history define you?

Hello gorgeous,

How much stock do you put into your history? Does it define who you are, and does it have to?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately…

We have the capacity to create anything we can imagine for our lives, completely transform the environments we live in, and recreate ourselves just by changing what we believe.

Yet…

Many of us choose our histories to define us.

Even getting one poor mark on a test score can define who we believe ourselves to be. Instead of believing we got one poor mark, it becomes: I’m not good at math. We make the score mean something about US.

The sad thing is once we internalize a belief, we make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

On a bigger scale, it could be how you grew up, or a difficult event in your life that you may have allowed to define you.

My childhood was a messy one growing up in an alcoholic home.

It’s not unique, but it did happen and for a long time the challenges affected how I felt about myself, the choices I made, and the way I lived.

I decided relatively early to save myself and moved out of province to get space but also to create a new life and identity for myself.

My past followed me in my low self-esteem, tentativeness, and not feeling like I was good enough to even apply for the jobs I wanted or have the will to go for the kind of success I craved in life.

Yet there was always this quiet voice urging me on.

It had faith in me, confidence in the life I wanted, and was unshakable.

As long as I kept walking the path, I knew I would become who I wanted to be in the life I wanted to be living.

And here I am!

On the path to get here I have been many things: straight A student, child of an alcoholic, runner, failing student, victim, unreliable, wild child, ashamed, barista, waitress, bookkeeper, store manager, receptionist, party girl, girlfriend, inspired, straight A student again, yoga teacher, ambitious, creator, artist, generous, coach, wife, driven, writer, loving, speaker, yoga teacher trainer, trusting, thriver, boss lady, me.

The perspective that changed me was: life happens.

The events in my life were not good or bad, they are just what happened.

I have also developed a lot of compassion both for myself and others, and it has allowed me to keep getting up when I fall down, or try again if I make mistakes.

My power is in the knowing that my history is a part of my story, yet it does not have to define me or be the whole story.

I define me and I create my story.

I define myself by the choices I make and how I choose to show up in the world, and this is possible for you too.

It’s never too late to be who you might have been. – George Elliot

Here’s 3 steps to support you in becoming the woman you want to be:

1. Decide who you want to be from your highest self.

Make your life a choice, not a default to unskillful behavior patterns that have hardened into habit. Imagine how this woman behaves, the choices she makes, what matters to her, and then start doing what she does. Let her be your guide.

 2. Choose what you want your life to be about that’s bigger than what happened to you or the way you have been in the past.

I always knew that I wanted to make a difference and make this world a better, happier, and more loving place. This was the seed that has continued to bear fruit for years through inspiration, motivation, and courage to keep going.

3. Lastly, growing is uncomfortable, so surround yourself with loving people who understand and support you.

Click here and join us in the Lightmaker’s Mastermind community and get daily positive support and inspiration. We’d love to have you!

I’d love to hear from you now! Do you have a story of creating yourself or your life? Do you believe your history has defined you? Please share it in the comments below, I love hearing from you!

Did you like this post? Then please share it with all of your friends on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, and forward it to anyone who might need to read this today. Shine the light lovely, we’re all in this together.

Love and Light,

t

This will only change your life

Hello gorgeous,

If you’ve been to my yoga classes you’ve probably heard me say at some time:

“Yoga will only change your life.”

And it’s true, it absolutely will and there’s one skill you learn in yoga that is particularly potent and it’s:

Surrender.

This morning when I woke up sick, I thought, “Shit, not today! I don’t have my newsletter written because I was planning on doing it this morning, I have x, y, and z to do today and I just don’t have TIME to be sick!”

This is a common voice I hear, and she’s kind of a bitch.

I have a little slave driver in my head that keeps pushing me along with her frenetic voice and often cracks her whip to keep me moving forward.

And then there is this other voice that I have learned to hear over the years. It’s a quiet one, a gentle one, which often shows up as insight and as truth.

This other voice is the one that reminds me that things are the way they are, and it’s time to surrender to it and let go of the fight.

The ego is our sense of self, and it is very fragile so it’s constantly creating itself by comparing itself to others, and DOING to establish itself as solid.

It also is very VERY afraid.

We have very little actual control over our lives. We don’t control our hearts beating, our health, our job security, natural disasters, or even our relationships.

We can do our best to prevent mishaps, or even disaster, but when it comes down to it we have very little control and we are scared shitless.

So what do we do?

Our ego creates the illusion of control by ruminating, planning, and worrying

Ruminating says: if I think about this enough it won’t happen again, or maybe I can figure this out and prevent it in the future. I can’t let it go because then it might happen.

Planning says: if I plan out all the possibilities and figure out the right way to make this happen, and am really prepared, I can prevent bad things from happening.

Worrying says: If I think about all the possible negative outcomes and think about it enough I can stop bad things from happening. As an added bonus, if the bad things happen, I’ll be prepared for it and I would have been right in worrying in the first place.

The ego loooooves to be right and even more so it loves to CONTROL.

In small doses, the above 3 forms of control are healthy.

They become unhealthy when they become conditions that affect your life:  ruminating and past thinking show up as depression, worrying and future paced thinking show up as anxiety.

And here’s something to think about, the vast majority of women I’ve worked with in the past 5 years have some form of anxiety.

Surrender is the anecdote to the challenges of control we all face with our ego mind.

Truly, it is accepting life as it is, warts and all and still choosing to be happy in the midst of it.

How do I practice this in yoga and meditation?

My time on my mat or sitting, is a practice of awareness and here’s how you can do it too:

  • Notice the discomfort and rather than fixing it or fighting it, hold it compassionately and surrender to it by simply allowing it to be there.
  • Approach the sensations with a friendliness and curiosity instead of judgement, as though you are trying to understand them and feel them more deeply.
  • You can use this same approach with the thoughts and your emotions.

This very simple shift in attitude allows life in, exactly as it is, rather than how the ego wants it to be.

This shift is powerful, and has the potential to change your life.

Just imagine how your life could be different if you didn’t have to manage everything or everybody? If you could just BE and accept life as it is?

To me that feels like freedom, and I’m a freedom junkie!

Now I just want to be clear: I’m not saying that we don’t strive to make this world better, or stop going for our dreams.

However, I believe that when we are able to surrender to the way things are, we are able to approach our ideals with wisdom and thoughtful action.

To do the opposite, is to act out of fear, and what good does that do?

So today, I’m surrendering to being sick and trusting my body to get me well and aiding in its recovery by taking the rest it needs.

I’d love to hear from you now! What are your thoughts on surrender? Is this a new or even scary concept to you? What can you surrender to today? Share it in the comments below.

Also, if you haven’t yet joined the Soul Sisterhood Facebook group, you totally should!

Thank you being the light that you are my friend. Share the goodness on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, or just spread it all over social media after forwarding it to all of your friends!

Love and Light,

t

the two words that make me cringe

Hello gorgeous,

I really hate the words “personal transformation.”

It makes me think of Jeff Goldblum in 80’s movie “The Fly.”

Sick! It makes me cringe just thinking about it!

Why? Because Jeff Goldblum was creepy and the words themselves mean to change completely.

And what the hell is so wrong with us anyways that we need to change into another being?

And why do we even think that it would be better?

You my friend, were born perfect and whole.

It doesn’t mean that we don’t pick up a few unskillful behaviors, and sometimes do things that we feel bad about and regret.

That’s part of the path of being human and having free will.

But you don’t need to “transform” from who you are, you are just fine exactly as you are.

I promise.

True change in your life comes from small consistent efforts with your behaviors, it’s not a weekend kind of thing no matter what they’re trying to sell you.

As someone who has been on this path for most of my life, I can tell you that it’s more like peeling off the layers that are no longer serving you to reveal who you truly are:

Light and possibility.

The layers come off slowly, sometimes painfully, like a slow Band-Aid.

Or sometimes it’s a quick insight that changes how you think and behave in a specific situation forever.

In all cases, it takes self-awareness, vulnerability, and a whole lot of courage to walk this path, and it’s the only way to get the life you truly want and become the person you were always meant to be.

And the other important part?

We don’t do it alone.

The Lone Ranger myth is just that, a myth.

We are not independent.

We are interdependent.

And we need each other, like we need oxygen.

The key is to find your people, who are also on this path and you can walk alongside each other.

Don’t worry, I’ve done the hard part for you and found those people.

You just need to join us.

If you haven’t already come join me in the Lightmaker’s Mastermind. You will get loving support from other women just like you who are walking the path of living better, and shine brighter.

Aaaand I have weekly office hours that you can get free coaching from me in the group. Yup, ask me anything.

You can do that right here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1620467418175337/

Even if you don’t join us, know that you are already whole and beautiful just the way you are, and you are loved.

Now, I’d love to hear from you. Does “The Fly” creep the hell out of you too? Or do you believe in transformation? Share your comments below, I love hearing from you!

We are beacons for each other. By shining our light we bring each other home to their own. Share this on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, and forward it to your friends.

You are a Lightmaker. 

Love and Light,
t