get the goods to create your best year yet!

It’s only a few more days until 2015, and I am EXCITED!

This week for me is all about finishing up loose ends for 2014, reviewing this year and then making an epic strategy for the New Year…and I’m not talking about resolutions, I’m talking about a STRATEGY.

Resolutions are for people who aren’t serious about making a change.

They maybe think it’s a good idea, maybe try to make an effort for a while, or wish (that dirty word) this year will be different.

Strategies are for people who are GOING to make 2015 everything they decide it will be and are creating a plan to get there.

So, what are you: a resolutioner, or a strategizer?

If you are a resolutioner, you will have a waaaay better year if let go of making a resolution because they are built for failure.

If you are a strategizer, I’ve got the perfect resource just for you right here.

I still have a few spaces left for one on one clients at my 2014 prices. If you are serious about making 2015 the year where live with focus, big meaning, and authenticity, aaaand skyrocket your confidence: then I want to hear from you! You can book a free alignment call with me here.

NEW package for entrepreneurs:
I have had so many entrepreneurs this last year that I have created a package just for you to take your business to the next level without selling your soul. You started your business for freedom, so why does it feel so…well…not free. You will gain clarity on your business, your ideal clients, and how to start making the money you want while creating the freedom you crave. You can learn more about it here.

Soul Strategy Sessions are filling up fast and I want you to join us before it’s full! You will make meaningful connections with like-minded awesome women, increase your confidence, gain clarity on purpose, and get learn tools to transform your life. The next session starts January 16th. Click here for more information and registration.

If you haven’t already got it, you can click here to get your free Epic Strategy for 2015!

Thank you for letting me into your inbox every week my friend and for being the beautiful light that you are. I love you and love to see you shine!

Oh! One last thing: the workbook is totally free so please share it with all of your friends so they can also get the goods! Send this post, share it on Facebook, or Tweet it out loud, lets help each other create an incredible 2015!

I can’t wait to see you in the New Year.

Love and Light,

t

the gift everyone really wants to get

Omg! Omg! Oh my gawwwwwd! I did it. Yes I did.

It’s only a few days before Christmas and I made my very first video.

Just. For. You.

Don’t worry, it’s not like 45 minutes long of my rambling about how to correctly fold a fitted sheet (although this is an important life skill that I do very well).

It’s just a little 2 minute somethin’ somethin’ about my secret weapon to giving the gift everyone really wants for Christmas that only you can give.

(It only took me about 39 takes before I could get one without cussing like a mo-fo, or doing horse lips. Maybe if I can figure out this video editing thing, I’ll leave them in at the end for outtakes for you. They were hysterical!)

Before I get to the video I have a couple of offerings I want to tell you about, and a few requests.

Yes, requests of YOU!

First of all, requests:

Video Q&A. I am really digging this video thing, and I’d love to do a Q&A with YOU! All you have to do is email me here, leave your name, and ask me a question! Then, I will answer it on video. Easy, huh? Now let’s keep this clean and relevant, shall we lovely?

Blog suggestions. I am starting to look at blog ideas for the New Year, and I’d love to hear from you! What would you like to read or learn more about? Which posts have spoken to you, and you’d like me to expand on? Is there something that you’ve just been waiting for, but haven’t seen it yet? Email me my friend, I love hearing from you!

Here’s the thing: I write for YOU, always.

And….I want the content to be relevant as well as entertaining for you and your life. Feel free to email me your suggestions, questions, and comments anytime…but now would also be good! Wink, wink.

Secondly, offerings:

My prices are going up January 1st, 2015 and I don’t want you to miss out if you’ve been meaning to work with me.
If you book an alignment call or Soul Strategy Session before January 1st, you still have a chance to get in on 2014 pricing. I know, you might be thinking to yourself that you don’t want to be thinking about this right now after all, it’s only Christmas,  and 2015…is like in 2015!!! You’ve got loads of time, right?

But seriously, that’s only a week and a half away.

Give yourself the present that will stay with you a life time.

You can never un-know what you know, and trust me (and the hundreds of women I’ve worked with), that you will gain a deep knowing that will guide you for the rest of your life.

Are you committed to finally getting real, living authentically, and increasing your confidence? Then let’s connect and make that happen for you! My one-on-one schedule is almost full for the next 3 months and the Soul Strategy Sessions are filling up fast! 

One on One Coaching
This is for women who are ready to start living from a place of authenticity, crank up their personal volume, and regain themselves in the process as they build confidence.  I have a few spots opening up in the New Year for one-on-one clients to support them in creating clarity on their purpose, and creating a strategy to get there. Click here for a totally free Alignment Call and let’s create some magic for you this January!

“I have witnessed my confidence and skill set grow, which in turn has helped me to become a more effective leader, both in and out of work, and has allowed me to better focus on what is important to me and how to attain my goals.  Tina’s warm, endearing and say-it-like-it-is coaching style was just what I needed.  She has wisdom and experience beyond her years and I am so pleased to have worked with her”.- Penny McCall, BSA, MSc, PAg

Soul Strategy Sessions
The Sessions are for ambitious women who love to learn and grow together! You will learn how to create goals based on soul, reveal your light, and create action to get you where you are going. This is 90 minutes every week devoted just to you, among a loving and positive group of women, and creating your best possible life based on what you love and value most. Many women choose to do this journey with a close friend as well to share the experience with. Click here for more information and registration. 

“Through Tina’s inspiration and amazing light in which everyone could use a dose of; I have begun my journey through my life as the boss, I have gained back confidence that I am so happy to have back. I have been able to meet amazing women who keep going back. “- Nicole Abott, Social Worker

Okay, now for the video!

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Click the image below to watch the cuss and horse lip free version. 

I always love hearing from you gorgeous, and can’t wait to hear what your thoughts are on presence…and of course my first video! You can do all that here. 🙂

Did you like this post? Then please share it with all of your friends on Facebook, Tweet is out loud, and forward it to everyone you know! We all need support, and this might be exactly what someone you know needs to read today.

Thank you for continuing to let me into your inbox and your heart every week. I love you like a crazy person!

Love and Light,
t

what to do with doubters

My biggest regret of my 20’s was that I didn’t have enough confidence to pursue what I really wanted until I was in my 30’s.

When I was 25, I knew I wanted to be a Coach. I didn’t know what that could look like but I knew that’s what I wanted to do. When I lived in Calgary, I even went to check out Haskayne School of Business’s Coaching program because that’s the only one I knew of.

But I didn’t sign up, and there’s 2 reasons why:

  • The college was a business college and I had no desire to get a business certification and had no experience in business at that point.
  • I was not a 50 year old woman in a grey suit, so I had no idea how I could possibly be a coach.

But the biggest reason, is that I was always encouraged to get a more ‘stable’ job.

You know what I mean: something with a steady income, benefits, and the fancier the title the more secure it would be.

So, kept going back to school and trying to find that right ‘fit’ which never came.

When I was 29, I finally did it, I took my coaching certification and my yoga teacher training!

Now don’t get me wrong, as much as I had pressure to get a more stable career, my mom has been a huge supporter of all my dreams.

Yes, even the one about becoming a famous fashion designer (I could have been a damn good one too. You should have seen the amazing shit I came up with at 9 years old!).

However, we never really escape the fears of our loved ones do we?

My mom supported us from the time I was 6 on commission. I know that was the hardest thing in the world for her to do and she wouldn’t wish that on me in a million years. So naturally she would want me to have a regular paycheck, with low risk, and less demands on my time.

Other people in my life just didn’t understand, because the things that interested me weren’t conventional.

Also the things that interested me didn’t have status, or even seem like a job. (Yes, yoga teaching is an actual profession!)

Here’s the thing about advice: other people’s cautions, are just giving voice to THEIR own fears. Feel free to Tweet that.

They aren’t just telling you what you should be afraid of, they are telling you what they ARE afraid of.

So if you have a dream, and you have doubters, here’s what you should know:

  • Doubters are giving voice to their OWN fears.

Understand that they are giving voice to their biggest fears: instability, fear of loss, what others might think of them, losing everything to pursue a dream, and of course failure. Chances are that if you have doubters, it’s because they love you and want to protect you, but you do NOT have to buy into their story. That’s their stuff, and you don’t have to own it.

  • Even if you have a ‘stable’ career, there are no guarantees.

The average person will have at least 5 different careers, no jobs, careers. Any of us can get fired, laid off, or transferred at any time. Thinking that you have your career locked in just because you are paid by someone else is an illusion.

  • You have 1 life and you will spend the majority of your waking hours at work.

It’s not worth your life to sacrifice it to a job you resent, and/or doesn’t make the most of your talents and gifts. You are in fact ripping off the world. Stop it, we need you.

  • Your calling is a part of your make up.

What you are interested in, your talents, skills, history, inspiration, creativity is unique to you. If you start paying attention, it will start to materialize. Don’t worry if you don’t have it figured out yet, just start paying attention today.

  • Your life is your message.

What are you willing to get behind? The choices you make define your life. What are your choices saying about you, and where you are in your life right now? What do you want it to say? What choices can you make now to start becoming the person you are meant to be?

  • No one can truly know what is in your heart but you.

You are the only one you have to answer to at the end of your life. Will you have felt like you gave it your best? Will you feel like you contributed, like you were able to be used for something important? When you do what is right in your heart, the rest will fall into place. Trust me, there is a market for everything. Fulfillment comes from being used by a purpose larger than yourself.

  • Lastly, hire a coach.

Even if you never work with me, hire someone to be on your team, who gets your vision, and is determined to help you win. Coaches can see the larger picture, help you move through fear and doubt with grace, and keep you in action when you get stuck. You will get farther faster, with more ease and fun with a coach, I promise.

The New Year is fast approaching, and this is a time of renewed commitments and also creating inspired intentions for 2015. If you are ready to take on this year with heart, then I want to hear from you. I have a few spots opening up in the New Year for one on one clients to support them in creating clarity on their purpose, and creating a strategy to get there. Click here for a totally free Alignment Call and let’s create some magic for you this January!

If groups are more your thing, The Soul Strategy Sessions are incredible and filling up fast! The Sessions are for ambitious women who love to learn and grow together. You will learn how to create goals based on soul, reveal your light, and create action to get you where you are going.  Also, the price is going up $50 at 5pm tonight, and I don’t want you to miss out!

I always love hearing from you gorgeous: how do you deal with doubters, whether it’s your own or someone else’s? I can’t wait to see you in the comments below.

Did you like this post? Then please share it with all of your friends on Facebook, Tweet is out loud, and forward it to everyone you know! We all need support, and this might be exactly what someone you know needs to read today.

Thank you for continuing to let me into your inbox and your heart every week. I love you like a crazy person!

Love and Light,

t

how to be a light bearer

Hello gorgeous,

One day while I was still in my serving days in Calgary, I was walking to work along 17th Avenue on a gorgeous summer day.

It was late afternoon and the sun was hot as I was sweating and smiling, swept along the sea of busyness on the sidewalk. This was one of the things I loved most about living in inner city Calgary, I could and did walk everywhere.

Coming towards me was a young woman, obviously high as her limbs swung loosely from her joints.

As she passed by, she whispered in my ear:

“You’re fucking nothing.”

I was totally shaken. I could still feel the warmth of her breath after she walked away, legs swinging off her loose pelvis, probably oblivious to what she left behind.

It was like my worst fears had been confirmed, and by the time I got to work I felt deeply violated.

Not only by her words. But by how physically close she got to me, and most unsettling of all: was how close she got into my own tender and vulnerable heart.

Growing up with an alcoholic parent, I know that what addicts say is actually a reflection of how they see themselves.

But it still stung like an open wound, and to this day it gives me shivers when I think about it.

There’s no way to deny it, just as there is light there is also darkness.

Last week I signed the papers to become a mentor to a girl in grade 8 at Mother Teresa Middle School.

If you haven’t heard about MTMS, and you live in Regina, you totally should. You can learn more about them and their incredible mission here: http://mtmschoolregina.com/

MTMS have an incredible team who are creating light in a dark place.

I cannot tell you how excited I am to be joining them and spreading the light.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” -Mahatma Ghandi

This is one of the best known, and one of my favorite, quotes by Ghandi. However, I believe it’s incomplete. Why?

Because it is useless to be kind, compassionate, loving, and light filled if we are just sitting alone in our apartment being wonderful by ourselves.

For those qualities to matter, we need to make them meaningful through action.

Light is only helpful in darkness. You can Tweet that.

So this holiday season, I ask you to absolutely be the light, but also to do something with it:

Become a light bearer.

Make a difference for someone. This is a hard time of year for so many reasons for so many people.

Be the light, but also shine your light. Take action. Make a difference.

If you wondering, “Who am I to shine?” or, “What are could I possibly do?” Consider this:

The problem for most of us, is we’re asking the wrong questions.

Instead, ask: How can I be helpful?

Change that language and you will start to get some serious traction in EVERY area of your life. Meaning is found through each other and when we focus on serving we also benefit in a profound way.

And here’s the thing about light, it doesn’t matter how long the darkness has been there, once the light is on, it’s on.

I have 2 glorious ways to turn on the light with me this season:

Celebration of Light

Thursday December 18th from 7-9pm (or better yet, sign up right now!) to join me for the Celebration of Light held at the Bodhi Tree downtown. Last year we kept having to increase our cap of students because it kept filling up, and we expect it to fill again! Click here for more information and registration.

And

Soul Strategy Sessions in the New Year

Gain clarity on your purpose and how to build your life around what makes you happiest. Build courage as you take action every week, and confidence among a sisterhood of positive brave women who really get it. Join us for 90 minutes a week to focus solely on you to let your light shine! More information and registration here.

Sign up before December 15th and save $50!

Thank you for letting me into your heart (and your inbox) every week my light bearing friend!

If you liked this post, please share it on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, and forward it to all of your friends. You could be the light in somebody’s day, like you are in mine. J

I’d love to hear from you now: What are you planning to do this holiday season to shine a little brighter?

I look forward to seeing you in the comments below!

Love and Light,

t

holiday relief guide

December is upon us (how did that happen so fast?), and we are embarking on one of the craziest, most stressful times of year.

The pressure of holiday commitments, shopping, baking and cooking, and family, can start to feel like just way too much in such a short period of time.

This is also a time where we can feel not only emotionally spent and frazzled, but financially. It’s easy to notice everything you don’t have, or can’t afford, when everyone wants your money.

Our family gave up gift giving a long time ago. It’s just too hard to buy for people when you don’t know what they would want, or need, and invariably we would all just end up with more “stuff.” I don’t know about you, but I really don’t want more stuff!

So for us, Christmas has been about getting together, eating lots of mom’s yummy baking, and catching up.

Because I love you, here’s to get my best tips for managing the holidays:

1) Set limits on spending

Before you start your Christmas shop, decide before you shop how much you will spend, and stick to it. Better yet, make your gifts if you have the time!  It’s so easy to go over budget without a plan, and it can lead to the yucky Christmas hangover in January when the credit card bill comes in.

2) Create personal boundaries

Family can be wonderful and exhausting. If you know you can only handle a certain amount of time before your limit is up: make a plan. Decide how long you will be with them, plan for solo outings, and monitor your stress level for everyone’s well-being. It’s better to take a little break than to have a blow out or leave totally depleted. Sometimes smaller doses makes the holidays merrier!

3) Spend a few minutes everyday in silence

Getting quiet is one of the best way to sooth a frazzled mind. Even just 5 minutes is enough to calm your mind, get focused, and reset.

4) Sadness during the holidays

Christmas cannot only be stressful, but for many people it can also be a very sad time of year. For those of us who have lost someone, or something dear, Christmas can bring raw feelings to the surface. If this is you, make time to be extra kind and gentle with yourself, and create some time to honor your feelings and that which has been lost. In Finland, we have a tradition or going to the cemetery Christmas Eve before we start the celebrations as a way of remembering those we love and carrying their spirit with us during the holiday season.

5) Gratitude

Of course I’m going to slip this one in! Because Christmas has become so commercialized it can be easy to focus on getting, buying, and spending: a focus on what we don’t already have. True happiness and wealth comes from being grateful and wanting what’s already here. Spend a few minutes every day counting your many blessings and you will start to feel the wealth and abundance of your life.

6) Spread love

Let the holidays be about spreading your love and light. Be kind. Find ways to help others, and have others join you in it! Give freely (and I don’t mean stuff), give your: attention, your smiles, your warmth, your compassion, we all need it this time of year.

I have some incredible events happening that I want you to get in on:

The Celebration of Light – Thursday December 18th 7-9pm at Bodhi Tree Downtown (more info below)

And

The Soul Strategy Sessions – Tuesday January 6 to February 14th 2015, 5:30 -7pm.

I’d love you to share your best tips for managing the holiday season below:

Did you like this post? Sharing is caring my friend. Share this on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, or forward this to those you love. You can be the light in somebody’s day…you always are in mine!

Thank you for being the light that you are. Keep shining!

Love and Light,
t

can you defy logic, and why you totally should

I want to know, how do you make decisions?

Do you do a list of pro’s and con’s? Do you research all your options? How about ask other people for their thoughts and opinions?

Maybe you do all of the above to find the most logical answer?

I’m going to throw something out there for you:

What if the logical answer isn’t the right one?

Logic is based on making a decision through external factors: other people’s opinions, society’s norms and expectations, and if you think about it: logic is really based on conforming to something outside of you.

But is that what’s really best for you?

I want to share something very personal about me…I hate shopping.

I’ve been teaching yoga for so long that most of my clothes consist of spandex and sports bras with the odd 10 year old push up bra and little black dress crammed into the back of my closet.

So, that’s why I hate shopping, because I haven’t done it in so long I don’t feel like I know what to buy.

I used to love it.

When I was in elementary school I wanted to grow up to be a fashion designer. Before I taught yoga many years ago, I loved clothes, and loved creatively putting together outfits and feeling fabulously together. But it’s really hard to be put together with odds and ends, and I don’t love spending money on things I don’t have much use for: like normal clothes.

When I do go shopping (because let’s be realistic spandex is just not always appropriate), I feel like a deer in headlights.

I don’t get what’s going on in fashion, or what’s cool anymore, and feel largely too old for the clothes I used to gravitate towards.

So here’s what I did. I asked around. I looked at magazines. I started paying attention to what people are wearing and how.

I looked outside of myself for ‘my’ style.

And do you know what? It didn’t fit with me.

Honestly, I always have known what my style is.

I like very particular things, and I know what I feel great in, and what looks great on me. I even had a stylist tell me that!

So why was I looking outside of myself for the answer? The same reason you do: validation.

This summer I painted our front bench a vibrant aqua blue.

One of my family members came over a few days later poking fun at me asking “what did you do Tina?” like I made a horrible mistake and I should probably fix it, and fast. My response? Be nice.

I love that blue. I’m not afraid of colour and have lots of colour in my home also.

I don’t want a beige house any more than I want a beige life. It’s just not me, and I don’t need anyone’s permission.

Taupe or beige might be better for resale, says logic. But I have to live here says, my heart.

If we look inside, we always know.

We know the guy we like but maybe aren’t sure how others will react. We know what we should be charging for our services but are too afraid to ask for it. We know when something feels off. We know what paint colour we like, and we also know which one would be more practical and acceptable.

But practical and acceptable to others, doesn’t mean it’s the right choice for us.

Somewhere along the way we have learned to second guess ourselves, not trust our instincts, and rely on something or someone outside of ourselves for our choices.

Instead, try this next time:

When faced with a choice, or several choices, start by looking at one choice outside of your comfort zone that definitely would be wrong and openly consider it as a possibility. Then notice how your body feels, and there will be a feeling. It will actually feel wrong.

Once you get that feeling you’ll know what you don’t want.

Do the same thing with your other choices, and notice how they feel in your body. Eventually you will feel the right choice, just like when I feel great in the right outfit.

You will just know, and you can’t miss it.

I’d love to hear your thoughts: what do you do when you are faced with choices? Join me in the comments below.

Did you like this post? Sharing is caring my friend. Share this on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, or forward this to those you love. You can be the light in somebody’s day…you always are in mine!

Thank you for being the light that you are. Keep shining!

Love and Light,
t

what are you waiting for?

I was lucky enough to give a talk to the beautiful Rethink Breast Cancer group yesterday, and have had some time to reflect on it. Let me share a little gem that popped out of my mouth that has had me thinking about ever since.

But before I get to that, I want to ask you:

Do you bargain with yourself about your happiness?

Do you promise yourself that you’ll start dating once you lose that 5 or 30 pounds? Or maybe you’ll apply for that job once you finish your next training? Perhaps you’ll start taking care of yourself once your kids are a little older? Eating healthier when you have more time? Or maybe when you feel better, have more energy?

Is there a part of you that maybe even believes you have to earn it, or maybe that you will get to it later?

Guess what?

Time is an illusion. You don’t have more of it, and it is finite for sure.

Now here’s my gem for you:

Don’t wait to be happy, your life is now, and this moment is the only one you are guaranteed. You can tweet that my friend.

Happiness is here for the taking, it is here now, and it’s who you are.

I’ll invite you to take action now.

  1. Take a look at what you are believing is holding you back from taking action in your life to being happy.
  2. Then make a choice to do 3 small things this week that you know will increase your levels of happiness. It doesn’t have to be crazy, going outside for a walk with the dog, calling a girlfriend, and meal planning all count as great action steps

Now here’s the most important one…

  1. Schedule those 3 things in. Make them specific actions that you would be able to know if you did them or not, and put a day and time to them.
  2. Then do them this week, and then repeat the exercise next week.

The jig is up my friend. Consider yourself called out. It’s time to enjoy the gift of life you’ve been given because that’s what you are meant to be: happy.

All of us choose our life and everything in it whether we are conscious of it or not, so why not start becoming an active participant in your own joy and happiness instead of hoping it will happen by chance one day.

Today is your day and you are more powerful than you know.

Here’s what I propose, let’s start a happiness revolution, where we all start choosing joy and making choices to contribute to happiness every chance we get.

Why? Because happy people make better choices, not just for themselves, but for each other and our planet.

So, now I want to hear from you: what are your 3 steps this week, and how are you going to choose joy? Share it with me below, I love hearing from you!

Also, the next Soul Strategy is coming up soon and people have already started asking about it, so I’ve decided to open up the January Session today! I expect this one to fill quickly with the New Year approaching so don’t wait too long to save your spot.

I’ve had the pleasure of hosting 3 Soul Strategy Sessions this year, and inspiration has punched me in the genius bone to create a system with even greater and faster results than before! You won’t want to miss it!

Sign up here for more information and to register.

If you liked this post, please click one of the little boxes below to share the love on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, or forward it to all of your friends. Share the light gorgeous, and let’s illuminate the darkness together.

Love and Light,
t

remembering, honoring, and forgiveness

Tomorrow is Remembrance Day.
I remember as a small kid bringing my dollar (it was paper money back then) to school so I could wear a poppy, and then going to assembly to have 2 minutes of silence. I don’t remember much else. There may have been a recording of a bugle, and there might have been a reading of Flanders Fields, but all I really remember is standing for 2 agonizingly long minutes in uncomfortable silence as I tried not to fidget or tease my friends next to me.

Those two minutes of discomfort made the event important and sacred.

Even though I didn’t totally understand, I knew there was something meaningful happening, so I should be still and quiet to honor it.

In Canada, for many generations we have been insulated from war on our doorstep.

We haven’t had to worry about our homes being bombed, food and water rations, or running away from our homes, and lives, with only our clothes on our backs. We also haven’t had to watch hundreds of our friends, family, neighbors, and spouses leave for war to fight for our lives knowing we may never see them again. But this is reality in too many parts of the world right now.

We have heroes among us who willingly join the armed forces to fight for democracy, freedom, and equality.

The very things we often take for granted because we’ve never known anything else. 

We are so lucky to live here.

I have not yet lost anyone to war, but I’ve born witness for students whose sons fought in Iraq. I’ve seen their fear and stress as they waited for phone calls just to know their baby was alive, and shared in their joy when they found out they were coming home.

Both of my grandfather’s fought for Finland’s freedom in WWII.

My parents taught me pride for their country’s freedom (I was born in Canada), and have shared many stories of war that they remember as children.

I called my mom this morning to have her share a few of her memories with us.

She told me about Kemi (her home town) being bombed and having to flee to live with another family in Southern Finland.

When they returned home after the war, Kemi was destroyed.

After the war mom’s dad moved to Rovaniemi to rebuild it, and recalls that there was only 5 houses left standing in the whole city, the rest were simply basements with a chimney. A year later my mom, her siblings, and her mom moved into a rebuilt basement to join her dad in Rovaniemi.

It took 3 more years before they had a home.

My Mom also shared a story of the most beautiful thing she had ever eaten: an orange.

It was after the war when she was six or seven years old. She remembers taking the segments out piece by piece with her older sister marveling at what a miraculous food it was.

To her there was nothing better.

This is still such a vivid memory to her, and she laughs every time she tells it!

The other piece of Remembrance Day I choose to focus on is forgiveness, because without forgiveness there is no hope of anything different.

I dream of a world that no longer has the need for war: a world that is tolerant, peaceful, and free, and that starts in each one of our hearts.

“Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past.” – Lily Tomlin

Forgiveness is so crucial because we are tied to whatever we hate or fear. Whatever we are tied to also binds our children, and our children’s children. The cycle just continues.

Let the hate stop here.

It’s not easy. It can be one of the hardest burdens to let go of because our hurts can become ingrained in our identity and how we see the world.

Yet if we really want a world that is free, tolerant, and equal, it starts with each one of us.

As you take your two minutes of silence tomorrow at 11am, I invite you to join me in remembering all those who have died, and those who continue to fight for freedom, and if it feels timely and right, to also open your hands and your heart…and let go.

I always love hearing from you. What are your thoughts, and how do you honor Remembrance Day? Join me in the comments below!

Do you know of someone who should join our Sisterhood? Sharing is caring! Share this on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, or forward to those you love. You can be the light in somebody’s day…you always are in mine. 🙂

Thank you for being the light that you are!

Love and Light,
t

Gossip getting you down? Here’s what to do about it:

I have something to share with you that uses some colourful language, so if you don’t like that spicy stuff, you may want to skip this post.

If you’ve had any face to face conversations with me, you probably already know that f#*k is one of my favorite words…next to mother#*ker of course, but only on special occasions.

Don’t let the colourful language fool you though, what I have to share with you today is quite serious.

I work with a lot of women. A LOT of WOMEN, and we have some common issues that are destroying us and smothering our genius from ever coming forth.

One statistic I read recently stated that women will only apply for promotions if they have 100% of the qualifications.

Men? 60%. Men assume that they will learn what they need to on the job if they get it…and they’re right.

I was chatting with a beautiful client of mine a while ago about a potential promotion. One of the concerns she had was that there was a fair amount of gossip at her work and she was concerned that her co-workers might start talking about her if she went for it.

“Don’t worry,” I said, “they’re already talking about you.”

“What?” she laughed. “What should I do then?” she asked.

“Fuck ‘em,” I said.

Nobody ever changed the world by asking permission. You can tweet that if you want by clicking here.

If women continue to people please to keep everybody else happy, then we are essentially asking permission to live our own lives.

We are giving away our power. And for what? They’re already talking about us.

Now I’m not saying that you don’t take consideration for others, or be kind. I’m all about that. But don’t let what you “think” other people are thinking of you stop you from doing what feeds your soul, or prevents you from sharing your gifts with the world.

So where do you start?

Put yourself out there.

Apply for promotions. Raise your hand in meetings. Let yourself be seen. Share your accomplishments with superiors. Not as arrogance, or conceit, but as a way of authentically contributing to the whole, and being an example of grace.

It takes some bravery. But when you do it, you show all of us what’s possible.

So, fuck ‘em and get out there and be the light that you are!

I always love hearing from you. Join me in the comments below.

Do you know of someone who should join our Sisterhood? Sharing is caring! Share this on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, or forward to those you love. You can be the light in somebody’s day…you already are in mine!

Thank you for being the light that you are!

Love and Light,
t

the nasty P-word, and 3 things you should know about it

I want to talk to you about the ugly P-word: perfect, and how it holds us back.

I remember when I was young and just starting to experiment with make-up.

I would spend at least an hour each morning staring at myself trying to get my make up on right. I still remember how frustrated I would get trying to get it just perfect and have a specific memory of doing my eyeliner over and over again trying to make the line straight until my eyelids became red and puffy.

I was hot, angry and extremely frustrated.

My mom was yelling at me from the bottom of the stairs reminding me that it was time to go to school and I was feeling desperate and on the verge of tears just trying to get this damn eyeliner right. Of course no one would have noticed but me, but I definitely did and fought to get it right.

This was just the beginning of frustration, false starts, and pressure that started to build in order to be perfect.

Perfectionism reared its ugly head in all-nighters doing school work, body shame and insecurity. I think now at how many jobs I wanted to apply for, but never thought I had enough of what I thought the employer would have wanted to even hand in a resume. I believed that I had to pay my “dues”, or know more before I would be considered, even though somewhere inside I knew that other people doing the job weren’t a whole lot different than where I already was.

Even within my own business I held back.

I felt I needed to have already mastered something before trying it out (read that again, it makes zero sense and I know you do it too), or I felt I needed a larger audience before I could start writing (so tell me again where that audience comes from if you don’t engage with them? Again zero sense), and the worst sin of all was feeling like I had to have the full picture before I could start (we can never predict what’s going to come up, just start).

And all of those sad subconscious beliefs came from wanting everything to be perfect.

I remember early on in my coaching career, my coach Sandi would say to me, “who are you ripping off by not shining your light?” She always busted me with that one, and got me moving forward because it’s entirely true.

The world doesn’t need perfect. Feel free to tweet that.

It needs passion, it needs love, and people who are interested and engaged with the world, not just watching on the sidelines hoping no one’s sees how badly they are messing up.

Life is messy…and exciting. And everything you hoped it could be and more.

You absolutely can design your life and live it on your terms. It takes some bravery though, because it means letting go of some yucky beliefs and trying on new things.

It’s so easy to go crazy to perfect something that means a lot to you.

This year, I spent honestly 2 months writing a talk that I gave this spring. It was one of the hardest things I have done so far. Not the public speaking part, although that was an eye opener for me too, but the preparation. I had somehow made giving the talk about me and which made it personal and raised the stakes too high. Here’s what I learned through that process:

1) Perfectionism is the killer of joy.
Because I spent so much time trying to get this talk “right,” I was stressed out, and hating the process of something that should have been an exciting opportunity for me to share what I’m most passionate about. When we aim for perfection, we kill the fun factor no matter what we are doing. And besides, not one person would have known if this was “perfect” or not, except me.

2) Aim for good enough.
I wrote and rewrote that talk I don’t even know how many times until the words flowed and it sounded more like how I wanted it to. Shockingly (sarcasm here), I got up there and of course didn’t read it word for word, I shared what was in my heart. What I learned from that is to aim for good enough, and let go of the rest.

3) Done is better than perfect.
A few weeks before this talk I was actually ready to cancel it. I even tried. I was so stressed out that I wouldn’t get it to come together in time that I was ready to walk away from a ridiculously awesome opportunity that was literally placed into my hands with a bow AND cherry on top. It took everything I had to push through and just get it done, even though I had massive resistance because it wasn’t perfect. Had I given up, I would have let myself down, and all the incredible people that made the event happen in the first place.

Here’s the thing, the talk was not perfect.

Far from it (my husband informed me that I dropped the f-bomb 15 times), but I learned A LOT both from the preparation and from the delivery. I would have never gotten that deep hands on learning had I not pushed through and just done it.

Learning how to do new things is hard, risky even, but if we aren’t willing to put our best efforts in and then let go, we limit our growth and our potential. 

Perfection keeps us small, and as Sandi would say: we rip the world off from our gifts and our light.

I implore you start creating your life, and walking your path now, you have 60 days before the New Year. 60 days to start something new, 60 days to complete something waiting to finish, and 60 days that you could get clear on your purpose. You don’t have to wait. Even if you never work with me, I invite you to start now and invest in your future. Don’t wait for perfection, or the perfect moment, it doesn’t exist. Just get moving!

Now, I want to hear from you: where is perfectionism limiting you in your life, and how do you work with it to push through? Join me in the comments below.

Do you know of someone who should join our Sisterhood? Sharing is caring! Share this on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, or forward to those you love. You can be the light in somebody’s day…you already are in mine!

Thank you for being the light that you are!

Love and Light,
t