I want to know, how do you make decisions?
Do you do a list of pro’s and con’s? Do you research all your options? How about ask other people for their thoughts and opinions?
Maybe you do all of the above to find the most logical answer?
I’m going to throw something out there for you:
What if the logical answer isn’t the right one?
Logic is based on making a decision through external factors: other people’s opinions, society’s norms and expectations, and if you think about it: logic is really based on conforming to something outside of you.
But is that what’s really best for you?
I want to share something very personal about me…I hate shopping.
I’ve been teaching yoga for so long that most of my clothes consist of spandex and sports bras with the odd 10 year old push up bra and little black dress crammed into the back of my closet.
So, that’s why I hate shopping, because I haven’t done it in so long I don’t feel like I know what to buy.
I used to love it.
When I was in elementary school I wanted to grow up to be a fashion designer. Before I taught yoga many years ago, I loved clothes, and loved creatively putting together outfits and feeling fabulously together. But it’s really hard to be put together with odds and ends, and I don’t love spending money on things I don’t have much use for: like normal clothes.
When I do go shopping (because let’s be realistic spandex is just not always appropriate), I feel like a deer in headlights.
I don’t get what’s going on in fashion, or what’s cool anymore, and feel largely too old for the clothes I used to gravitate towards.
So here’s what I did. I asked around. I looked at magazines. I started paying attention to what people are wearing and how.
I looked outside of myself for ‘my’ style.
And do you know what? It didn’t fit with me.
Honestly, I always have known what my style is.
I like very particular things, and I know what I feel great in, and what looks great on me. I even had a stylist tell me that!
So why was I looking outside of myself for the answer? The same reason you do: validation.
This summer I painted our front bench a vibrant aqua blue.
One of my family members came over a few days later poking fun at me asking “what did you do Tina?” like I made a horrible mistake and I should probably fix it, and fast. My response? Be nice.
I love that blue. I’m not afraid of colour and have lots of colour in my home also.
I don’t want a beige house any more than I want a beige life. It’s just not me, and I don’t need anyone’s permission.
Taupe or beige might be better for resale, says logic. But I have to live here says, my heart.
If we look inside, we always know.
We know the guy we like but maybe aren’t sure how others will react. We know what we should be charging for our services but are too afraid to ask for it. We know when something feels off. We know what paint colour we like, and we also know which one would be more practical and acceptable.
But practical and acceptable to others, doesn’t mean it’s the right choice for us.
Somewhere along the way we have learned to second guess ourselves, not trust our instincts, and rely on something or someone outside of ourselves for our choices.
Instead, try this next time:
When faced with a choice, or several choices, start by looking at one choice outside of your comfort zone that definitely would be wrong and openly consider it as a possibility. Then notice how your body feels, and there will be a feeling. It will actually feel wrong.
Once you get that feeling you’ll know what you don’t want.
Do the same thing with your other choices, and notice how they feel in your body. Eventually you will feel the right choice, just like when I feel great in the right outfit.
You will just know, and you can’t miss it.
I’d love to hear your thoughts: what do you do when you are faced with choices? Join me in the comments below.
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Thank you for being the light that you are. Keep shining!
Love and Light,