I want to tell you about one of my most important dreams.
When I first started coaching, I was gung-ho to get my business started. I enrolled in a business building course for coaches and did my homework diligently. I spent hours in front of my computer (this is before the days of social networking) writing and figuring out systems for my business.
I was thoughtful and deliberate with everything I did while trying to make connections to expand my business.
And guess what?
Well, not really nothing, but not much, it was mostly crickets.
The one thing that I really needed to do to build my business I was resisting: putting myself out there and asking for the sale.
I would gladly talk about coaching all day long, even coach you for free to get the practice, but I was too nervous to ask people to hire me.
There was no reason for this. I have an internationally respected coaching certificate, my clients got great results, and I was passionate with big dreams of becoming a professional coach.
And that my friends, was the problem: I was passionate with big dreams.
Often the thing we want most, is the very thing that holds us back.
I was eager and happy to do the things in my business that kept me busy, giving me the feeling of moving forward without having to really put myself out there.
But when it came down to actually doing the stuff the would make an impact, I resisted like crazy.
It was too scary, so I created every reason in the book not to move ahead:
I was too young so I had to prove myself first because all the coaches I knew were 50-year-old women in suits.
I was too new, I needed more practice first and more clients under my belt.
Once I knew what I was doing with my business, I could put myself out there.
I hadn’t narrowed down my “ideal client” so I should wait until I figure them out before putting myself out there.
I wasn’t clear on my business model yet, once I got clear I would move forward confidently.
Can you see what I was doing?
I was creating objections to the very thing I wanted most.
I was saying no.
This isn’t the first time I’ve done this, and it definitely hasn’t been the last.
I have done this with every single thing that I really wanted but was too scared to admit. Thankfully, now I see it sooner and act faster.
We all do this to some extent.
I was talking to someone last week about their dream job, and as they were describing it to me they were simultaneously explaining to me why it wasn’t possible for them.
Really? It’s not possible?
This is what fear looks like in action.
It looks like resistance, even rational resistance, but it stems from the fear that the one thing you want most might not work out…and what then?
The fear of failing at something we want so badly is often enough to stop us dead in our tracks and create every excuse we can so we don’t have to try.
Isn’t that sad?
If you are wrestling with fear right now, I want you to try this:
- Imagine your worst case scenario. Yes, I want you to go there. Most of us have a generalized fear, whether is of failure or worrying, and don’t look at what the worst outcome is. When you know what your worst outcome is, you can deal with it. When it’s a vague scary looming “something bad” you can’t face it which makes it feel that much worse.
- Pay attention to how strongly you feel resistance. Resistance is good news! The stronger you resist, the more you want it. Your fear is telling you something, it’s saying “pay attention, there’s something important here.”
- Let go have having the full picture to get started. Most of us feel like we have things figured out before we get started. This is just another trick from fear telling you need to know more, do more, be more, before you get started, and its bullshit. You can’t see the full picture because it will evolve and change as you take steps towards what you want. Each right action will reveal itself to you from action you’ve taken. So get moving and forget about need to “know” first, it’s just holding you back.
Fear is scary, and no one wants it, that’s why so many of us stay in a comfortable place where nothing grows and our lives lose their lustre.
But you are meant for more lovely, and you don’t have to do this alone.
Here’s what other women have to say about it:
Because of this community, I was able to face my fears, challenge my limited thinking as well as my behaviors that do not help me attain my goals in life. I have found my inner power through the encouragement and compassion from Tina and the wonderful women that I journeyed with during this session. When we find our inner power we truly ROCK as women.” – Suzanne Hehn–Social Worker
“Implementing Tina’s techniques throughout the 8 week strategy session has resulted in positive and healthy changes in my life. Tina’s coaching gave me the tools to turn thoughts into action. I look forward to more of Tina’s coaching in the future.” – Lucinda Taylor, B.Sc, Information Technology
“Tina has a special way of leading the way through the maze of tough questions and answers that often stand in the way of being the best that we can be. I appreciate Tina’s inquiring nature, her courage in being able to ask the tough questions in a safe and sensitive way. “– Lynn Armstrong, Sky Magazine
The Soul Strategy Sessions run Tuesdays, from February 2nd to March 8th from 5:30 – 7:30pm.
Space is limited to 15 amazing women and these always fill up fast!
I want to hear from you now, when has resistance stopped you from moving forward? What did you do to get into action? Share your comments below, or in the Soul Sisterhood Facebook group.
Thank you for being the light that you are!
Love and Light,