A simple trick to ride the waves of tough times.

Hello gorgeous,

I just got in from a walk with my puppy in the fresh fall air. I love this time of year. The cool mornings that bite my pink cheeks, the warm afternoons where I can smell the sun warm the fallen leaves, and the bright gold and amber leaves against a bluebird sky, it’s all magical!

The changing of the seasons is a wonderful reminder to reflect and take stock of what is also changing within ourselves.

As I’m getting more and more pregnant (I’m officially 34 weeks now), I notice I’m also in transition. I’m getting slower, more fatigued, and also craving being at home more as I’m preparing for my son to arrive.

Most of us are also uncomfortable with change, myself included.

A few weeks ago I was totally overwhelmed.

I felt like there was ALL the things to do, and it was never going to get done.

The To-Do list felt a mile long, and with baby coming, I definitely felt a deadline, or at least a very limited time to do things and the progress felt slow and overwhelming with my declining energy.

I had also been feeling this way for a while, so the anxiety was climbing every day my due date got nearer.

It felt like this was going to go on forever and I was starting to panic.

Maybe you can relate to something in your own life?

Like when it seems like one thing after another keeps piling up and you can’t seem to get a break?

Or maybe you’re in the midst of learning something new and it all feels hard and it’s like trying to learn string theory in Chinese?

Sometimes it all feels overwhelmingly too much and never ending.

In Shawn Achor’s book The Happiness Advantage he states that when we:

“…start to “overestimate the significance and permanence of the problems they encounter,”(it’s) the fastest route to depression and anxiety…”

Isn’t this the truth?

We tend to view our problems as significant and permanent, which can quickly encourage invasive thoughts leading to anxiety and depression.

Buddhist philosophy believes that the only constant is change.

Just like the constant changing of the seasons, our lives are in a constant state of change, and we too are a part of that because everything is temporary and shifting.

So you can take comfort that even the most uncomfortable times are temporary too.

Just like my rib that’s been out for almost two months.

Just like my To-Do list.

Eventually it will be over and there will be something else in its place.

A beautiful child.

Other things to focus on.

So if you are going through something right now like overwhelm, grief, anger, confusion, stuckness, depression, anxiety or frustration:

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn

This too shall pass, as they say and soon enough you won’t even remember this moment because you will already be onto the next.

Learning to get comfortable with change, even simply accepting it, makes it easier to deal with the challenging times and appreciate the good ones.

One of the easiest ways I know how to do this is just to name it and acknowledge that this is now I’m feeling right now, for example:

This feels overwhelming for me right now.

Instead of: I’m overwhelmed.

I’m feeling exhausted with this right now.

Instead of: I’m exhausted with this.

I’m feeling frustrated right now.

Instead of: I’m frustrated.

There’s a few language cues that are important here:

“I’m feeling”, “I’m experiencing”, “this is” rather than “I am.”

When we use“I am,” it implies that this is a way of being which is permanent, fixed, or a part of your identity. This increases our feelings of and helplessness to the situation.

Adding “Right now” instead of ending the sentence as fact.

“Right now” acknowledges that this is being experienced in the moment, and therefore not a persistent situation. We can have confidence that the situation will change and that this is truly temporary (because it is!).

Both of these language cues shifts our perspective to feel more in control and empowered by riding the waves of what is.

This moment may be uncomfortable, but don’t panic, everything is temporary.

I’d love to hear from you now! What’s your best tip for managing tough times? Please share it in the comments below or in the Soul Sisterhood. I love hearing from you!

If you liked this post, then please share it with all of your friends on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, and forward it to someone who could use some love today. We are all a light for each other.

I hope you enjoy this glorious fall day and I look forward to reading your comments!

#daretobeyou

Love and Light,

t

What do the President and I have in Common that will make your life better?

Hello Gorgeous,

I was lucky enough to work with an incredible woman last Friday for a 3 hour Mastermind around her business.

She is like a lot of women I work with that have their own service based business.

It starts off as an inspiration with no plan, and then the business takes over and starts running their life.

I do these on Friday mornings, and make a yummy breakfast and snacks for us to enjoy as we work.

They are an intensive where we pick apart the business to see exactly what’s working and what’s not, mindsets of how you view money and your business, and how to design a business that works for you, instead of a business that has taken over your life.

Most of us start out in the work force working for someone else making an hourly wage.

Once we start working for ourselves it can be difficult to shake that idea, even though all entrepreneurs work way more “unpaid” hours than working with actual clients.

As small business entrepreneurs, we are responsible for our admin, marketing, bookkeeping, social media, product development, and a slew of other tasks depending on your business and its size.

The other challenge is that we often undervalue what we offer and undercharge for our work resulting in 60 hour work weeks for minimal pay.

So we try to work with more clients for little money hoping that will make up for it. Guess what? It doesn’t.

We need to work smarter, not harder.

I truly believe this is why so many businesses fail, not because of lack of hard work, but because of limiting belief systems and lack of planning that results in burnout.

You may not have a business, but you can easily translate this into almost every other area of your life.

Most of us feel like we are treading water trying to keep up with the life we’ve created, chasing after the dream of “once I  do X, I can relax and be happy.”

However if we don’t ever stop and take time and care to plan how we want to live and work, life will decide that for us, and we will continue to just try and keep our head afloat.

I’ve used these same systems with women in daily life and corporate jobs, just as much as those who are self-employed.

Whether you work with me one on one, in a 3 hour mastermind, or a group coaching session there are a four things we will always cover:

1) Clarity – What do you actually want?

Some people worry that they aren’t ready to work with a coach because they don’t know how to answer this. Most of us, if we’re really honest, know what we want. It’s often based on a feeling like: I want to be happy, I don’t want less stress and anxiety, I want more energy, I want to feel more connected. These are not only valid things to want, this is what our lives are based on!

Although many of us strive for money and things, they have no inherent value except the feelings and experiences they give us. That’s why we want stuff in the first place. They might give us status, make us feel like somebody we want to be, give momentary happiness or sense of accomplishment. It’s all based on feelings we want.

Sadly those feelings are short lived when we expect them to come from stuff. It makes way more sense to build your life upon how you want to feel and doing things that support those feelings, rather than accumulating things that lose their value almost the moment you get them.

2) Systems – What systems do you need in place to support what you want? I remember reading that the American President has a personal chef, and maybe that’s not surprising to you, but I found the reason why intriguing. The President has a chef so he doesn’t have to waste his energy thinking about what he eats every day. His mental energy is too precious to be wasted on deciding on Cheerios or Cornflakes.

This is one thing the President and I definitely have in common, not the personal chef, but I have a full life and cannot waste my time deciding on what to eat every day. For any of you who know me, I eat the same thing A LOT. I make a big batch of something (often the same thing every week) and eat it all week. I like variety, but I also don’t want to think about it. I want to heat up my breakfast and get to other stuff instead of spending my time looking up recipes, cooking, and then eating. I want to eat, and move on.

The White House apparently feels the same way. See, we all have a finite amount of mental energy, and it’s up to us to decide how we want to use it. This is an example of a system that buys the President (and me) more mental space to focus on what we deem important.

Systems are the routines and rituals that support our life, and if you are a business owner, the life of your business. They often are the small mundane routines that will eventually be the backbone of your life and business. They include time management, your physical and mental health, and automation.

3) Plan – What obstacles might get in your way?

For most of us we get inspired with a plan that is idyllic and are gung ho to start…until the following morning when you have to follow through with it. Sound familiar? Like going out for a 10km run every day at 6am when you have never run before and you are not a morning person. Or meditating every night for an hour even though you’re exhausted by the end of the day and you just fall asleep trying.

Asking the question, “what might get in your way?” will have you look at your intentions critically so you can make a plan that you will succeed at. Our aim is not to do a drastic overhaul on your life in a day, because it’s not possible. You are still you.  Aim to make small easily doable adjustments which make a bigger impact on your life. Small achievable goals lead to big (and even more importantly) long term results.

4) Objective – How will you know you got it or did it?

This is the question almost no one asks themselves. They set the goal and set out to do it but have no measureable way of knowing when they’ve completed it. So, they move the bar higher, or to the next thing, which leads to very highly accomplished women often feeling like they’ve never accomplished anything because in their mind, they haven’t. Make sure you answer this question before starting your goals, it is the most important thing to determine besides what you want. Without this, there isn’t any point because you wouldn’t know if you did it anyways.

Time is ticking before baby comes. I’m on the home stretch at 30 weeks and I want to give you an opportunity to work with me before he comes so I have opened up a few more spaces here:

Soul Strategy Sessions in 6 weeks, starting THIS Wednesday.

These classes will be condensed from 90 minute 8 week classes to 2 hour 6 week classes. This is your last opportunity to join us in this fun supportive community. Women love these classes because they are fun, and they work. Don’t worry if you aren’t clear right now on what you want, that’s what the class is for! I promise you will learn so much and have a great time doing it with amazing women just like you. I love the women so much that come to the Sessions, that I often say I want them all to be my best friends! Only 1 day left to sign up! Sign up now to save your space here.

3 Hour Mastermind

I have opened up a few more Friday mornings to work with me. If you are like so many women who offer a service based business and feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and starting to get resentful of the business you love, let’s chat. Together we can design a business that works for you, instead of you being a slave to your business. You can do this, and I can help. Set up an alignment call with me by clicking here to see if this is your next best step for you and your business.

I’d love to hear from you now: are you like the President, and if so how? Share your comments in the Soul Sisterhood Facebook group or in the comments below.

Did you like this post? Then please share it with all your friends on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, and forward it to a friend who could use it!

I hope you have an incredible week ahead of you and I look forward to hearing from you soon!

Love and Light,

t

How to get unstuck now.

Hello gorgeous,

If you aren’t from Saskatchewan, or have never visited, you should know that we have incredible summers, and the week ahead is no exception.

We have consistently perfect blue bird days around 30 degrees. That’s why so many of us have a lake to go to, or a family cabin, to beat the heat.

Don’t ask me about the winters, but the summers are truly glorious!

I have been thinking about a few lovely clients I’ve worked with over the years who had big dreams of creating their own money as an entrepreneur but had an impossible time getting started.

I often saw a pattern like this:

They really need to start bringing some money in right away. They have a great idea, and are capable of launching it, but never really get it off the ground.

Often they are paralyzed with fear, and worried that they aren’t good enough, qualified enough, or know enough, to make it work. They also are overwhelmed because they have a To-Do list a mile long, and have no idea of where to actually start.

Now, you might not be an entrepreneur but perhaps you can relate to this in another area of your life.

The details may be different, but I’ve been in that stuck “not enough” place enough times to see it when it’s in my face.

I’ve seen it within myself when I wanted to ask for a promotion or raise, applying a new job, building my own business, taking a bit trip, and now I see it occasionally as a new soon-to-be-mother.

The “not enoughs” can affect all of us at different times of our lives and one of the first things I notice is the “why” isn’t big enough to overcome the “not enoughs.”

This is the best time to revaluate and realign with not only what you want, by most importantly to make your “why” big enough to keep you motivated to get you where you want to be going.

Here’s what you need to know to expand your “why”:

  • What do you want? This is the first question I ask every one of my clients, because you can’t get something if you don’t know what it is. Get clear on exactly what you want, how you want to be spending your time, and how you want to feel. Make sure that these all align with each other because if you want to feel free, but then work 80 hours a week, you are not going to feel free guaranteed. Get as specific as you can with what is important to you.
  • Get real with yourself. When you think of what you want, why aren’t you there yet? This isn’t meant to be an exercise to make you feel bad about not being where you wish you would be, but to help you get clear on exactly what is standing in your way of why you haven’t done it yet. What has stopped you from moving forward? Is it fear? Is it lack of action? Is it needing to get a few key pieces in place first? Once you have an idea of what has been holding you back, you can make a plan to work around it, or with it, to start moving forward quickly.
  • Your fear is actually a great sign! It means that this is important to you and that you are on the right track. If it wasn’t important, you wouldn’t feel as though you were risking something to get it. That’s great, keep going!
  • What is your REAL why? If your why is just about money, you’ll never be motivated enough to move through the inertia of fear to go for it. Your why needs to bigger than your fear which is always centered on you. Who, beyond yourself, would benefit? How is you moving forward with this going to change lives? What kind of world are you creating through doing this?
  • Core values. How does what you want align with your core values? The more congruent our wants are with our values the easier it is to go after what you want. If you aren’t sure what yours are, you can do the Free Clarity Crash Course to find out.
  • Now feel it. Imagine yourself having already done it maybe 3 years later. Imagine how it would feel to be there as though it was happening now. Feel it in your body. What does that feel like? Can you name it? What is important about it? This is another important piece of your why. We are always going after a feeling through an outcome.
  • One small step. Of course insight is nothing without action. So, what’s one small step you can take to move towards what you really want? Share it in the Soul Sisterhood so we can cheer you on!

Lastly, I have been thinking of creating one last offering for you before I go away on mat leave in November and this one is for the entrepreneurs out there:

Soul Strategy for Business

What you will get:

  • A business based on what is most important to you.
  • Get unstuck, and get moving faster than if you were trying to figure this out on your own.
  • Design your lifestyle rather than be a slave to your business aaaand still making money.
  • A plan of how to get where you want to be.
  • Feel confident in your offerings and services to execute sales with ease.
  • Accountability to create momentum.
  • Support and wisdom from like-minded women who truly want you to succeed.
  • No more overwhelm, know what to do and when.

Who this is for:

Women who are either just starting, overwhelmed, shit scared, and feeling like they have no idea how to start getting momentum.

Or…

Women who have a business, but are feeling stuck, overwhelmed and need support realigning their business so that it serves THEM instead of the other way around.

What it looks like:

Group coaching for 10 women for 5 weeks, September 2nd -30th from 2-3:30pm.

If this interests you, email me and I’ll get something together to make it happen. I haven’t decided if I will do this in person, or via video conference yet, so your location isn’t an issue. If you want in, let me know, (also let me know if you live in Regina or not) because I’ll base my decision on demand.

Now, I’d love to hear from you: What has been holding you back? What’s your first step, and what’s your “why?” If you liked this post, then please share it on Facebook, tweet it out loud, and forward it to your friends. We all need a little light in our lives and you may be that for someone who needs you!

#daretobeyou

Love and Light,

t

8 Reasons why missing out is a good thing.

Today my cup is overflowing with gratitude.

This weekend has been another busy weekend for me. I have been busy finishing up the last details of 21 Days to Calm, and today 18 beautiful women are starting the course with me! Hooray!

I cannot express how excited I am to be sharing this with them, and to be able to help so many people struggling with anxiety. So blessed.

I also am a kind and loving wife. Yes, sometimes it happens.

My husband is away with a few of his besties (I’m sure he would use that word, no?) enjoying Kimberly’s finest. So, me being the exceptional wife I am, repainted and re-decorated the basement bathroom to take one more reno off his list! Please, go on, tell me how amazing and thoughtful I am. 😉

What did you get up to? Did you enjoy the beautiful sunshine? Eat ice cream outside? Tell me about it!

Okay, enough about me, here’s today’s post:

There’s this word out there called FOMO, perhaps you’re heard of it? It means “fear of missing out,” (I mostly like the word because it reminds me of MOFO), but apparently it’s a real thing.

It means: anxiety brought on by the constant influx of information from social media informing you that your friends are doing something way more fun than you are.

Well, here’s a list 8 reasons why missing out is a good thing and you totally should do it:

Specifically for the Soul Strategy Sessions which is the LAST one and starts tomorrow:

  1. You don’t have to worry about creating a meaningful life.
  2. You can let go of having clarity.
  3. You can keep being overwhelmed, being everything for everyone, and become more resentful for it.
  4. You can stay in a rut.
  5. You won’t have to meet some of the best women in the city who want to make their lives incredible.
  6. Tuesday’s won’t have to the best day of the week.
  7. You can keep your low confidence.
  8. You’ll never have to be clear on what truly makes you happy and actually go for it.

Yup, these are all things you WON’T be getting if you don’t join the Soul Strategy Sessions.

Now, if that gives you FOMO, then GOOD! It means its time.

Time for you to know what a meaningful life looks like, feels like, and how it would transform your life.

“Tina’s Soul Strategy Sessions helped me take action in my life and increase my vision for what I want my life to be.” – Lia Skaar

Time to get clear on what is most important to you.

“The Soul Strategy Sessions have empowered me to pursue my goals with focus and confidence. With the support of your soul sisters and Tina’s guidance and teaching you are able to uncover a clear path to success and live life to the fullest.” –Carly Graham, Graduate Student

Time to let go of the things that no longer serve you and streamline your life so you can be truly happy.

“Tina provided me with the much needed help to find ways to reduce the stress in my life, let go of things that really are no longer important and drive clarity to my goals and plans.  After 8 weeks, I left a much happier and confident person with a greater sense of clarity with my future vision.” – Tami Mitchell, Access Communications

Time to get into action and feel inspired about life again.

“Implementing Tina’s techniques throughout the 8 week strategy session has resulted in positive and healthy changes in my life.  Tina’s coaching gave me the tools to turn thoughts into action.” – Lucinda Taylor, B.Sc, Information Technology   

Time to meet cool women (yes, I only attract the best women in these groups, it’s true.), who are on this path WITH you.

“Being a part of such a supportive community with a common goal of becoming healthier, happier and fulfilled women was unlike anything I’ve experienced.” – Mackenzie, Student

Time for Tuesdays to be full of connection, laughter, and learning!

“During the Soul Strategy Sessions, I have been surrounded and encouraged by a room full of individuals who, like myself, want to be fully engaged and enjoy all that life has to offer.  The dynamics of our group discussions have brought about so many revelations for me and Tina’s approach to coaching has allowed me to see my aspirations with much more clarity, have stretched me to dream big and have given me the needed push and tactics to take steps towards my dreams each and every day.”  -Colleen Wruth (working mom of three young girls)

Time be the confident woman you are meant to be.

“Because of this community, I was able to face my fears, challenge my limited thinking as well as my behaviors that do not help me attain my goals in life.” – Suzanne Hehn–Social Worker

Time to know, deep down in your soul, what makes you happy and actively go for it!

“Every time I leave I am feeling inspired and excited about life again.” – Krista Culling, Corporate Sales – The Wireless Age, Owner/Teacher – Mind Body Soul Yoga

You have today ONLY to sign up and there’s only 3 spots available. Click here and start this fall with more clarity, confidence, and happiness than you ever have before!

Don’t hesitate to share this with the incredible women in your life. We rise together by sharing the good stuff, and sharing our light.

Enjoy your Monday and I look forward to connecting with your gorgeous self next week!

Love and Light,

t

What a monk can teach us about tigers

Hello Gorgeous,

 

Today I’m going to tell you an old teaching story that I love, and have said to my classes many times over the years and the message always serves as a good reminder.

It starts with a monk in India…

This monk was a very happy monk. He noticed how the world generally took care of itself.

He believed that everything happened for a reason and things would always work out the way they were supposed to.

He would notice his philosophy in action, smile, and nod his head wisely as it confirmed his trust in letting things be as they are.

Then monk traveled to a hermitage for a month. As he unpacked his few belongings, he looked out the window and the scene caught his attention.

He saw an injured deer limping into the clearing followed by a tiger.

He held his breath as he waited to see what would happen.

The deer laid down in the clearing, completely surrendering to the tiger.

Then the tiger sat down, and watched over the injured deer for the whole night.

In the morning, the deer was healed and they went their separate ways.

The monk smiled, and nodded. Yes, everything happens for a reason, and everything works out exactly how it should in the end.

The next evening there was a wild thunderstorm.

The night sky was lit up with lightning and the thunder roared over the thatched huts of the hermitage.

As the monk watched the storm from his window, he saw one of the huts was hit by lightning and lit up on fire.

The monk continued to watch the action, waiting to see what would happen, knowing that all would be fine in the end.

He continued to watch as the fire jumped from roof to roof, and eventually burning down the hermitage.

As he was running from his own hut to safety, he saw the abbess of the hermitage.

The abbess asked him: Did you see how this fire started?

He said, “Yes, lightning hit one of the huts.” He then continued to explain wisely about the deer and the tiger and how everything is meant to be and it all will work out in the end.

The abbess exclaimed, “You fool! There is a time to be a deer, but there is also a time when you need to stand up and be the tiger who watches over the deer!

However, for some of us it’s easier stand by and watch, blame our circumstances on something else, or continue to wait until the “right” time to take action.

The tiger represents action and courage, and one of my favorite definitions of courage is this:

To sense what truly matters in life and live from that place.

This is what I love, and so many women love, about the Soul Strategy Sessions because it is all about taking action in your life.

No more wondering what your purpose is, or how to make your life more meaningful.

“Tina’s Soul Strategy Sessions helped me take action in my life and increase my vision for what I want my life to be. I have found renewed direction and certainty and have seen some exciting opportunities take shape as I have worked my soul map. Soul Strategy Sessions, for me, have been a great catalyst for change and personal growth. Highly recommend.” – Lia Skaar

No more waiting on the sidelines of your life as you watch another year go by.

“Implementing Tina’s techniques throughout the 8 week strategy session has resulted in positive and healthy changes in my life.  Tina’s coaching gave me the tools to turn thoughts into action.  I look forward to more of Tina’s coaching in the future.” – Lucinda Taylor, B.Sc, Information Technology

No more uncertainty and feeling like you’re the only one going through this.

“If you aren’t prepared to know who you are, what you stand for and how to start living more authentically don’t sign up for the Soul Strategy Sessions. Tina has a unique gift of bringing out concepts and thoughts right at the time you are ready to receive and action them. She creates an environment that allows people to workshop their path and spit ball ideas. It is truly beautiful, watching strangers transform into close, non-judgemental confidantes over 8 weeks.” – Jill, Provincial Government

You will feel happier, more focused, and more powerful in your life.

“Soul strategies for me was about the building of a safe and supportive community of woman so we could explore the issues that hold us back from being the successful and the confident women we can be. Because of this community, I was able to face my fears, challenge my limited thinking as well as my behaviors that do not help me attain my goals in life. I have found my inner power through the encouragement and compassion from Tina and the wonderful women that I journeyed with during this session. When we find our inner power we truly ROCK as women.” – Suzanne Hehn–Social Worker

Being the deer can feel more natural for some of us. It might feel easier to wait for the next opportunity, better timing, or when we feel like we’re in a “better” space.

Being the tiger can feel riskier, messier and even…dare I say: uncomfortable?

Yet everything we want lies on the other side of fear and resistance.

Yes, it takes some courage, and I know you have it in you.

There is a time to be a deer, and this is your time, and your LAST time (with me anyways) to really jump in and start creating your life based on what is important to you.

Next session will begin early 2016. 

I’d love to hear from you now! Do you want to share with me a story of when you were a tiger? You can share either in the Soul Sisterhood Facebook Group, or in the comments below.

If you liked this post, then please share it with all your friends on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, and forward it to your loved ones. We can be the light for each other.

#daretobeyou

Love and Light,
t

When everyone has an opinion, how do you decide among all the noise?

Hello Gorgeous,

This morning as I was running I was thinking a lot about why we don’t go after what we really want, or why we often say that we don’t know what we want.

Since I broke the news of our pregnancy, I’ve been getting a TONNE of advice.

Some solicited, and much of it unsolicited advice.

I’m an older mommy so I’m one of the last of my friends and peers to have a child and I regularly see my feeds plastered with mommy blogs, parenting advice, and people sharing their challenges.

There is a lot of noise when it comes to parenting because everyone seems to have an opinion.

In the weeks leading up to our 20 week ultrasound, I got a lot very strong opinions on if we should find out the sex or not.

We had decided early on that we wanted to know the sex if we could, and are proud to say that last week we found out that we are going to be the proud parents of a little BOY!

But it’s not just parenting, people have opinions on everything: what you should eat, what’s healthy, how you should exercise, the best kind of yoga, how to find a partner, what you should wear, how to have good relationships, a good sex life, how you should think, and really everything you should, or even could do. Right?

With so much noise out there in every aspect of our lives, how does one navigate the waters, especially when everyone seems to have an opinion, and often a REALLY strong opinion?

Read on my friend…

Do you know what do you want?

Aaaaaand HOW do you really know what you want?

Have you ever made a decision because you knew someone expected you to do it?

Whether it’s what to major in school, or what jobs to apply for? How did that make you feel, and looking back, how happy are you with that decision now?

Have you ever agonized over what to do because you knew deep down what you wanted, but felt you needed to ask everyone else first to validate your choice?

Did that empower you, or disempower you?

Have you ever purchased something at the store because the sales help were oohing and ahhing at how great you looked in it, even though you didn’t feel it was quite right?

Then once you got it home asked yourself: what was I thinking?

Or here’s a big one: when you look back on your life now, are there things you wish you hadn’t done but did anyways because others expected you too, or encouraged you too?

We are so easily influenced by each other because we are mammals which are emotionally driven creatures.

We are naturally tribal creatures who depend on each other for our well being and there is no worse punishment for us than not belonging.

We will do almost anything to be accepted.

There’s a reason Time Outs are so effective for disciplining children. Or if you have ever trained a dog, turning your back to them will stop an undesirable behavior. There is nothing more painful than not belonging to us and we will correct our behavior to be in good graces once again.

So, what about the big stuff, like your own hearts desires? Your right path? How do you make those choices without being drowned out by all the noise of what other’s want you to do?

Here are 3 things you need to know about how to deal with the noise around you:

1) Other peoples advice is a gift…and I’ll tell you why.

When people offer you advice (solicited or not), they are sharing something important and personal about themselves with you. They are sharing their model of the world, and what is important to THEM. It is not about you. If you can look at it from this perspective it’s easier to not get charged or influenced by the advice offered. Most often advice is well meaning, and is based on THEIR personal experience from their life’s history. It has nothing to do with what is right for you and your life’s circumstances, even if you decide to consider it when it aligns with your own beliefs.

2) If you don’t know about something, it’s useful to research it.

I often ask people I respect for their opinions and advice on things I know nothing about. Choose to ask with the intention of collecting information to understand the topic better and have more data to make a decision that fits with your life. I want to be clear, that this is different than asking what to DO, it is asking for the sake of collecting information only, not to influence what is inherently your decision to make.

3) Follow your inner compass.

There is a part of you that already knows the answers because everyone of your resources are within. Your life will not be answered by more money, status, or stuff. You already know this. This is the hardest one of all because it is entirely internal and it takes a lot of trust to follow through with choices that may be unpopular even when you know it is the right thing for you.

It takes courage and confidence to live authentically.

It’s not always easy or comfortable to stand in your truth and not to be drowned by the noise of expectation and the wants of everyone around you. It’s so natural for so many of us to want to be, and try to be, all things to all people….and it’s impossible and exhausting.

“The Soul Strategy Sessions have empowered me to pursue my goals with focus and confidence. With the support of your soul sisters and Tina’s guidance and teaching you are able to uncover a clear path to success and live life to the fullest.” –Carly Graham, Graduate Student

You can start living more authentically now.

“Soul strategies for me was about the building of a safe and supportive community of woman so we could explore the issues that hold us back from being the successful and the confident women we can be. Because of this community, I was able to face my fears, challenge my limited thinking as well as my behaviors that do not help me attain my goals in life. I have found my inner power through the encouragement and compassion from Tina and the wonderful women that I journeyed with during this session. When we find our inner power we truly ROCK as women.” – Suzanne Hehn–Social Worker

The Soul Strategy Sessions offers tools to get clear on your inner compass and is the basis of how to live a more meaningful and happier life. This is the last Soul Strategy Session for 2015, and possibly ever, I’d love for you to join us. Read more about it here.

I sure hope I get to see you there!

Thank you for being the light that you are.

#daretobeyou

Love and Light,

t

What do handstands and qualifications have to do with each other?

As a yoga teacher, I will often throw in challenging poses like handstands that I know are going to be too difficult for most of the people to master easily.

No, not because I’m mean and I want to see them fail, but because I think it’s good to get used to the feel and prep of harder poses so eventually they will be able to do them.

Almost every time though, there’s a few students who sit on the floor and just watch no matter how many beginner steps I give them.

They sit there contentedly smiling and cheering students on who are trying and failing, but never actually attempting it themselves, believing it’s not for them.

I believe that to grow we must be willing to try things that challenge us and see what we can do even if we suck at it, and yoga is no exception.

So when I ask the students on the floor why aren’t they trying, it’s rarely because of an injury, it’s because they believe they aren’t qualified yet.

These are the most common excuses I hear:

I’m not strong enough yet.

I don’t think I can do it.

I’m not ready to try it yet.

I’m scared.

No shit, so is everyone else.

But instead of even testing to see if they can, they wait on the sidelines until they’re going to feeeeel ready for it.

Here’s the thing, we will never feel ready or qualified enough for the things life throws at us.

Ready is a myth, and a shitty excuse for not participating in your life.

I am also willing to bet my car (don’t be too excited, it’s not that awesome) that these same people live their whole lives sitting on the sidelines waiting, and we are all the person at different times in our lives.

We watch opportunities slip through our fingers to protect ourselves so we don’t have to be uncomfortable or get hurt.

But then we never fully engage with life, and will be left with regret and a whole pile of should haves.

We want our dream vacation to be perfect so we put it off until all the details are just right and everything is all figured out and it may be YEARS before that happens. But at least it will be perfect, right?

We put off sharing our skills until we hone them to perfection so we don’t make a mistake so no one finds out that we don’t actually know enough and don’t really deserve to be doing it.

We don’t take the first steps in building a business because we need to get the right website up first even though we don’t know what that would be but at least it would make us look like we know what we’re doing.

We don’t take the training we want because we don’t know enough first and are afraid of looking stupid in front of others believing of course everyone else would know more than us.

We want to say no, but not yet, because even though we’re exhausted and spread way too thing already, we don’t want to burn any bridges or piss anyone off.

We don’t start working out because we don’t know what we’re doing and certainly don’t want everyone else to know that we’re new at this.

We don’t go for the promotion because we don’t have 100% percent of the skills yet so there’s no point even trying.

The deepest learning from life is not from a book explaining theory, it’s from jumping in and figuring shit out.

You don’t have to do this recklessly, but it does mean getting your hands dirty, understanding that failure is not a character flaw, and being a little vulnerable.

Aaand the rewards? Emotional resilience (one of the markers for happiness), confidence (which can only be attained by doing things that are hard), and acquiring abilities faster than your peers (you will be ahead of the game).

You are not put on this earth to make people like you, or even to not look stupid, you are here to make a dent in the universe and its impossible watching from the sidelines.

Go on, jump in and see what you can do!

I want to hear from you now. Do you like handstands, and what did it take for you to try it? What have you done that was hard, but you jumped in anyways? Where have you been waiting in your life until you were “ready”? Tell me all about it below!

Dare to be you.

Love and Light,

t

A simple tweak that changes everything

Hello Gorgeous,

One thing I read everywhere these days is why mindsets are important and rightfully so.

A mindset is your attitude, or inclination towards something. It shapes your beliefs of what is possible and how you will respond through your behavior.

As an entrepreneur, the popular one in my circles is money mindsets, and eeeeeeeveryone is trying to sell entrepreneurs a positive money mindset as a way to make more money.

A poor money mindset for entrepreneurs shatters their confidence, limits their earning potential, and eventually will lead to burn out.

A positive money mindset creates possibility, action, and limitless earning potential.

The customer also benefits by often getting better service and products from someone who is excited and feels fresh about their work.

However, you don’t have to be an entrepreneur to have mindsets.

Mindsets are alive in everything we think and do.

The most common complaints I hear from women is that they feel overwhelmed, suffer from anxiety, and feel like they are treading water.

In the Soul Strategy Sessions we start early with mindset because this is one of the most powerful agents of change.

Everything begins with your thoughts.

Watch your thoughts; they become your words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become your character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
– Lao Tzu

Try this:

Right now grab a pen and paper and write down your biggest complaint about your life. Then write down what have you been believing about this situation. (Do you feel it’s out of your hands? Is it up to someone else? Are you worried about how others will see you? Is it too late? Are you waiting for something?) Then ask yourself: Is this actually true? If not, you’ve unmasked one of your beliefs that is contributing to your complaint. If you believe it to be true, what is in your power to begin to change your situation now? 

Once you complete this, tell me about what you discovered in the comments below.

Creating the right mindset puts you in control of your destiny which is empowering, exhilarating, and anything becomes possible.

It’s a simple tweak, and it is life altering.

This is why entrepreneurs can spend thousands of dollars to shift from a scarcity mindset to a more lucrative money mindset. It can be the difference between struggling to bring in cash to making tens of thousands aaaaaand having the life they want in the process.

If you’re treading water, it’s the difference of years of anxiety to becoming powerful and confident in your life.

With the right mindset:

You will be more confident in who you are, your choices, and your direction.

You will see yourself and your life more powerfully.

You will get into action with more ease to create the life you want. 

That’s huge, and the results are yours forever.

There’s only two weeks left before the next round of Soul Strategy begins and it’s filling up fast.

I love hearing from you, so go ahead and email me for more information or check out my website to learn more and register. 

If you know of a fabulous gal who needs to know about this, please forward this to them or share on social media by clicking the buttons below. 

I hope you are enjoying an incredible long weekend and I look forward to hearing from you soon!

Dare to be you. 

Love and Light,
t

rock bottom as a path to your light

Hello Gorgeous,

Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life. – J.K. Rowling

I saw this quote this morning and it spoke to me in a way I had to speak to you.

Rock bottom is the most uncomfortable place to be.

It’s dark and illuminates that darkest parts of ourselves: fear, loneliness, exhaustion and everything we don’t want to feel.

And yet…

At the bottom, comes a profound insight that has the power to transform your life.

For me, it was a realization in my darkest moments that no one can save me but me.

I knew in my bones that if I continued the way I was going I would end up with a life I did not want and become unrecognizable to myself.

So I, like many others, began at rock bottom with a choice that often starts with “no more” or “never again.”

Whether it’s leaving a bad relationship, kicking an addiction, quitting a job that sucks your soul, getting off a path that is harming you, or the decision to stop making yourself the enemy: it stars with a definitive decision.

This decision becomes your conviction and guiding light out of the darkness and back to yourself.

It is a promise to yourself tattooed on your heart which becomes the defining moment shifting you from where you were to where you are going.

This single decision will begin the rebuild your life, redefine who you are, what you stand for, and will be one of the most powerful and potent moments of your life.

No one can save you but you because ultimately you have to do the grunt work to get the reward, and it doesn’t mean you have to be alone while you do it.

Finding a tribe of supportive women makes the journey easier, more fun, and of course more meaningful…after all, we learn through each other’s stories.

When you find support in women who are on the other side of where you are, they can become your mentors and teachers.

This makes the rebuilding process easier and faster than if you were doing it alone, and seriously: who wants to struggle longer?

If you are in the process of rebuilding, you have a place with me and a tribe of incredible women who genuinely want to see you succeed in the Soul Strategy Sessions.

“Intention is powerful but ACTION is life changing. Tina’s enthusiasm for life, for coaching and for everyone she meets is an inspiration. Soul Strategies has facilitated so much motivation and direction in my life. Big dreams… HUGE DREAMS, that some of us were too scared to admit even to ourselves before this process are now coming true. These sessions have taken me to a place of no limits. I will carry this with me wherever I go.”
-Tara Rossouw, Yoga Teacher

Through our 8 weeks together, you will gain clarity on what you truly want in your life, what is important to you and how to start living aligned with who you truly are.

Then I met Tina!  And the lights went on, my prayers had been answered.  She offered the guidance I had been asking for years.  She knew how to help me dig down into the mud and pull out the gems that were hiding there.  And instantly things began turning around for me.  Direction, calm, insight, and the achievement of goals I had begun to think was going to be impossible.  I have achieved more in these past few months than I could have imagined before Tina, and achieved them with peace and calm.  I am now on the road to a whole new life – the one I want! “-Daphne Murphy, Breast Cancer Survivor  

You will gain valuable tools to support your growth and increase your confidence.

“The Soul Strategy Sessions have empowered me to pursue my goals with focus and confidence. With the support of your soul sisters and Tina’s guidance and teaching you are able to uncover a clear path to success and live life to the fullest.” –Carly Graham, Graduate Student

You will see the best parts of you shine through and start to live more authentically.

After 8 weeks, I left a much happier and confident person with a greater sense of clarity with my future vision.  Alongside some great easy to use tricks to get through some of those tough long days.   I continue to use a lot of what I have learned and have had a lot of comments from co-workers and friends and family that noticed my transition. “ – Tami Mitchell, Access Communications

If you are ready to start living on purpose, and becoming the boss of your own life, the next session starts next week, click here for more details and registration.

If you are ready to start living on purpose, and becoming the boss of your own life, the next session starts next week, click here for more details and registration.

Even if you don’t join us in the Soul Strategy Sessions, click here to join us in the Soul Sisterhood a free group to support and inspire you to shine brighter. 

Dare to be you. 

In Love and Light,
t

should history define you?

Hello gorgeous,

How much stock do you put into your history? Does it define who you are, and does it have to?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately…

We have the capacity to create anything we can imagine for our lives, completely transform the environments we live in, and recreate ourselves just by changing what we believe.

Yet…

Many of us choose our histories to define us.

Even getting one poor mark on a test score can define who we believe ourselves to be. Instead of believing we got one poor mark, it becomes: I’m not good at math. We make the score mean something about US.

The sad thing is once we internalize a belief, we make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

On a bigger scale, it could be how you grew up, or a difficult event in your life that you may have allowed to define you.

My childhood was a messy one growing up in an alcoholic home.

It’s not unique, but it did happen and for a long time the challenges affected how I felt about myself, the choices I made, and the way I lived.

I decided relatively early to save myself and moved out of province to get space but also to create a new life and identity for myself.

My past followed me in my low self-esteem, tentativeness, and not feeling like I was good enough to even apply for the jobs I wanted or have the will to go for the kind of success I craved in life.

Yet there was always this quiet voice urging me on.

It had faith in me, confidence in the life I wanted, and was unshakable.

As long as I kept walking the path, I knew I would become who I wanted to be in the life I wanted to be living.

And here I am!

On the path to get here I have been many things: straight A student, child of an alcoholic, runner, failing student, victim, unreliable, wild child, ashamed, barista, waitress, bookkeeper, store manager, receptionist, party girl, girlfriend, inspired, straight A student again, yoga teacher, ambitious, creator, artist, generous, coach, wife, driven, writer, loving, speaker, yoga teacher trainer, trusting, thriver, boss lady, me.

The perspective that changed me was: life happens.

The events in my life were not good or bad, they are just what happened.

I have also developed a lot of compassion both for myself and others, and it has allowed me to keep getting up when I fall down, or try again if I make mistakes.

My power is in the knowing that my history is a part of my story, yet it does not have to define me or be the whole story.

I define me and I create my story.

I define myself by the choices I make and how I choose to show up in the world, and this is possible for you too.

It’s never too late to be who you might have been. – George Elliot

Here’s 3 steps to support you in becoming the woman you want to be:

1. Decide who you want to be from your highest self.

Make your life a choice, not a default to unskillful behavior patterns that have hardened into habit. Imagine how this woman behaves, the choices she makes, what matters to her, and then start doing what she does. Let her be your guide.

 2. Choose what you want your life to be about that’s bigger than what happened to you or the way you have been in the past.

I always knew that I wanted to make a difference and make this world a better, happier, and more loving place. This was the seed that has continued to bear fruit for years through inspiration, motivation, and courage to keep going.

3. Lastly, growing is uncomfortable, so surround yourself with loving people who understand and support you.

Click here and join us in the Lightmaker’s Mastermind community and get daily positive support and inspiration. We’d love to have you!

I’d love to hear from you now! Do you have a story of creating yourself or your life? Do you believe your history has defined you? Please share it in the comments below, I love hearing from you!

Did you like this post? Then please share it with all of your friends on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, and forward it to anyone who might need to read this today. Shine the light lovely, we’re all in this together.

Love and Light,

t