8 Reasons why missing out is a good thing.

Today my cup is overflowing with gratitude.

This weekend has been another busy weekend for me. I have been busy finishing up the last details of 21 Days to Calm, and today 18 beautiful women are starting the course with me! Hooray!

I cannot express how excited I am to be sharing this with them, and to be able to help so many people struggling with anxiety. So blessed.

I also am a kind and loving wife. Yes, sometimes it happens.

My husband is away with a few of his besties (I’m sure he would use that word, no?) enjoying Kimberly’s finest. So, me being the exceptional wife I am, repainted and re-decorated the basement bathroom to take one more reno off his list! Please, go on, tell me how amazing and thoughtful I am. 😉

What did you get up to? Did you enjoy the beautiful sunshine? Eat ice cream outside? Tell me about it!

Okay, enough about me, here’s today’s post:

There’s this word out there called FOMO, perhaps you’re heard of it? It means “fear of missing out,” (I mostly like the word because it reminds me of MOFO), but apparently it’s a real thing.

It means: anxiety brought on by the constant influx of information from social media informing you that your friends are doing something way more fun than you are.

Well, here’s a list 8 reasons why missing out is a good thing and you totally should do it:

Specifically for the Soul Strategy Sessions which is the LAST one and starts tomorrow:

  1. You don’t have to worry about creating a meaningful life.
  2. You can let go of having clarity.
  3. You can keep being overwhelmed, being everything for everyone, and become more resentful for it.
  4. You can stay in a rut.
  5. You won’t have to meet some of the best women in the city who want to make their lives incredible.
  6. Tuesday’s won’t have to the best day of the week.
  7. You can keep your low confidence.
  8. You’ll never have to be clear on what truly makes you happy and actually go for it.

Yup, these are all things you WON’T be getting if you don’t join the Soul Strategy Sessions.

Now, if that gives you FOMO, then GOOD! It means its time.

Time for you to know what a meaningful life looks like, feels like, and how it would transform your life.

“Tina’s Soul Strategy Sessions helped me take action in my life and increase my vision for what I want my life to be.” – Lia Skaar

Time to get clear on what is most important to you.

“The Soul Strategy Sessions have empowered me to pursue my goals with focus and confidence. With the support of your soul sisters and Tina’s guidance and teaching you are able to uncover a clear path to success and live life to the fullest.” –Carly Graham, Graduate Student

Time to let go of the things that no longer serve you and streamline your life so you can be truly happy.

“Tina provided me with the much needed help to find ways to reduce the stress in my life, let go of things that really are no longer important and drive clarity to my goals and plans.  After 8 weeks, I left a much happier and confident person with a greater sense of clarity with my future vision.” – Tami Mitchell, Access Communications

Time to get into action and feel inspired about life again.

“Implementing Tina’s techniques throughout the 8 week strategy session has resulted in positive and healthy changes in my life.  Tina’s coaching gave me the tools to turn thoughts into action.” – Lucinda Taylor, B.Sc, Information Technology   

Time to meet cool women (yes, I only attract the best women in these groups, it’s true.), who are on this path WITH you.

“Being a part of such a supportive community with a common goal of becoming healthier, happier and fulfilled women was unlike anything I’ve experienced.” – Mackenzie, Student

Time for Tuesdays to be full of connection, laughter, and learning!

“During the Soul Strategy Sessions, I have been surrounded and encouraged by a room full of individuals who, like myself, want to be fully engaged and enjoy all that life has to offer.  The dynamics of our group discussions have brought about so many revelations for me and Tina’s approach to coaching has allowed me to see my aspirations with much more clarity, have stretched me to dream big and have given me the needed push and tactics to take steps towards my dreams each and every day.”  -Colleen Wruth (working mom of three young girls)

Time be the confident woman you are meant to be.

“Because of this community, I was able to face my fears, challenge my limited thinking as well as my behaviors that do not help me attain my goals in life.” – Suzanne Hehn–Social Worker

Time to know, deep down in your soul, what makes you happy and actively go for it!

“Every time I leave I am feeling inspired and excited about life again.” – Krista Culling, Corporate Sales – The Wireless Age, Owner/Teacher – Mind Body Soul Yoga

You have today ONLY to sign up and there’s only 3 spots available. Click here and start this fall with more clarity, confidence, and happiness than you ever have before!

Don’t hesitate to share this with the incredible women in your life. We rise together by sharing the good stuff, and sharing our light.

Enjoy your Monday and I look forward to connecting with your gorgeous self next week!

Love and Light,

t

Top 20ish rules to live by.

Hello Gorgeous,

Last week was a whirlwind.

Dave’s family had three birthdays and two anniversaries last week, PLUS we worked on the basement most of the weekend. I’m getting super sick of working on that damn thing I have to say, but we are soooo close now to being finished that I can finally see the end is near.

THANK. YOU. GOD!

I won’t keep you in suspense any longer about the top 20ish list though, so here it is:

  1. Don’t wait for permission before you act, or it may never come.
  2. Choose to see the light in others, and they will start to see it in themselves.
  3. Approach your life as though it matters, and it will.
  4. You are one of the few creatures in the whole world that can change their world simply by their will. Don’t forget that.
  5. You may never be totally free of fear, but you will always have enough strength to go through it.
  6. You were born already whole. There is nothing you need to do or get to earn it, it’s a done deal.
  7. It’s okay not to know. You don’t have to decide right now.
  8. There is a reason why you love what you love. If you follow it, you will always live with passion and sparkle.
  9. The greatest gift you can give another human being is to make them feel safe.
  10. Doubt is a natural part of the creative process. Keep going.
  11. The greatest gift you can give to another human being is to accept them exactly as they are.
  12. It doesn’t matter how long the dark has been there, once the light is on, it’s on.
  13. Your life is your message, make your choices count.
  14. Sitting for a few minutes quietly every day will change your life.
  15. Surround yourself with people you want to be like, because you become who you hang out with.
  16. Give freely and generously without expectation and it will feel like giving blessings. If you can’t, then don’t.
  17. Never forget that the BIG questions are not only your questions, they are OUR questions. They are humanity’s questions, we’re all trying to figure this thing out.
  18. You don’t need to know it all to start. The path is created by walking it.
  19. Forgive yourself a lot and apologize if you hurt someone. Making mistakes is a part of learning.
  20. It’s not our job to save each other, it’s our job to love each other as we awaken ourselves.
  21. Listen for life’s sweetness.
  22. You belong, you matter, and you are loved.

I’d love to hear what you’d add to the list! What’s do you live by, and what’s most important to you? Share it in the comments below, or feel free to join the conversation in the Soul Sisterhood and tell me what you’d add.

Did you like this post? Then please spread the love and share with your friends on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, and forward to someone you love by clicking one of the buttons below.

Until next week, my friend…

#Daretobeyou

Love and Light,

t

When everyone has an opinion, how do you decide among all the noise?

Hello Gorgeous,

This morning as I was running I was thinking a lot about why we don’t go after what we really want, or why we often say that we don’t know what we want.

Since I broke the news of our pregnancy, I’ve been getting a TONNE of advice.

Some solicited, and much of it unsolicited advice.

I’m an older mommy so I’m one of the last of my friends and peers to have a child and I regularly see my feeds plastered with mommy blogs, parenting advice, and people sharing their challenges.

There is a lot of noise when it comes to parenting because everyone seems to have an opinion.

In the weeks leading up to our 20 week ultrasound, I got a lot very strong opinions on if we should find out the sex or not.

We had decided early on that we wanted to know the sex if we could, and are proud to say that last week we found out that we are going to be the proud parents of a little BOY!

But it’s not just parenting, people have opinions on everything: what you should eat, what’s healthy, how you should exercise, the best kind of yoga, how to find a partner, what you should wear, how to have good relationships, a good sex life, how you should think, and really everything you should, or even could do. Right?

With so much noise out there in every aspect of our lives, how does one navigate the waters, especially when everyone seems to have an opinion, and often a REALLY strong opinion?

Read on my friend…

Do you know what do you want?

Aaaaaand HOW do you really know what you want?

Have you ever made a decision because you knew someone expected you to do it?

Whether it’s what to major in school, or what jobs to apply for? How did that make you feel, and looking back, how happy are you with that decision now?

Have you ever agonized over what to do because you knew deep down what you wanted, but felt you needed to ask everyone else first to validate your choice?

Did that empower you, or disempower you?

Have you ever purchased something at the store because the sales help were oohing and ahhing at how great you looked in it, even though you didn’t feel it was quite right?

Then once you got it home asked yourself: what was I thinking?

Or here’s a big one: when you look back on your life now, are there things you wish you hadn’t done but did anyways because others expected you too, or encouraged you too?

We are so easily influenced by each other because we are mammals which are emotionally driven creatures.

We are naturally tribal creatures who depend on each other for our well being and there is no worse punishment for us than not belonging.

We will do almost anything to be accepted.

There’s a reason Time Outs are so effective for disciplining children. Or if you have ever trained a dog, turning your back to them will stop an undesirable behavior. There is nothing more painful than not belonging to us and we will correct our behavior to be in good graces once again.

So, what about the big stuff, like your own hearts desires? Your right path? How do you make those choices without being drowned out by all the noise of what other’s want you to do?

Here are 3 things you need to know about how to deal with the noise around you:

1) Other peoples advice is a gift…and I’ll tell you why.

When people offer you advice (solicited or not), they are sharing something important and personal about themselves with you. They are sharing their model of the world, and what is important to THEM. It is not about you. If you can look at it from this perspective it’s easier to not get charged or influenced by the advice offered. Most often advice is well meaning, and is based on THEIR personal experience from their life’s history. It has nothing to do with what is right for you and your life’s circumstances, even if you decide to consider it when it aligns with your own beliefs.

2) If you don’t know about something, it’s useful to research it.

I often ask people I respect for their opinions and advice on things I know nothing about. Choose to ask with the intention of collecting information to understand the topic better and have more data to make a decision that fits with your life. I want to be clear, that this is different than asking what to DO, it is asking for the sake of collecting information only, not to influence what is inherently your decision to make.

3) Follow your inner compass.

There is a part of you that already knows the answers because everyone of your resources are within. Your life will not be answered by more money, status, or stuff. You already know this. This is the hardest one of all because it is entirely internal and it takes a lot of trust to follow through with choices that may be unpopular even when you know it is the right thing for you.

It takes courage and confidence to live authentically.

It’s not always easy or comfortable to stand in your truth and not to be drowned by the noise of expectation and the wants of everyone around you. It’s so natural for so many of us to want to be, and try to be, all things to all people….and it’s impossible and exhausting.

“The Soul Strategy Sessions have empowered me to pursue my goals with focus and confidence. With the support of your soul sisters and Tina’s guidance and teaching you are able to uncover a clear path to success and live life to the fullest.” –Carly Graham, Graduate Student

You can start living more authentically now.

“Soul strategies for me was about the building of a safe and supportive community of woman so we could explore the issues that hold us back from being the successful and the confident women we can be. Because of this community, I was able to face my fears, challenge my limited thinking as well as my behaviors that do not help me attain my goals in life. I have found my inner power through the encouragement and compassion from Tina and the wonderful women that I journeyed with during this session. When we find our inner power we truly ROCK as women.” – Suzanne Hehn–Social Worker

The Soul Strategy Sessions offers tools to get clear on your inner compass and is the basis of how to live a more meaningful and happier life. This is the last Soul Strategy Session for 2015, and possibly ever, I’d love for you to join us. Read more about it here.

I sure hope I get to see you there!

Thank you for being the light that you are.

#daretobeyou

Love and Light,

t

What’s your REAL dream life?

Hi Gorgeous,

What’s your dream life?

If you are planning on hiring a coach (or mentor for that matter), it’s recommended that you hire someone who’s already at where you want to be.

Everyone (at least in my coaching world) talk about 2 things that they are constantly trying to sell you:

  • Your dream life.
  • Creating a 6 figure business.

They are often sold with images of a luxurious lifestyle that include a LOT of money, plenty of travel, and a laptop lifestyle.

My problem with that, is that often these “dreams” are contingent on externals and having the “right” things, and THEN finally you can be happy.

I call bullshit.

Not only that, but most of these coaches that I know work 80 hour weeks and have a large support team to pay for so they only take home a fraction of what they say they do. Don’t even get me started on the happiness part of it, because I don’t see a lot of balance there.

I’ve been doing this work for 8 years, and never, and I mean NEVER have I had a client become happier once they got more stuff, better stuff, or more money.

Where I HAVE seen clients become happier is when they stopped looking at what they were missing, and started looking inside at what makes them feel happy and fulfilled and did more of that.

(If you haven’t done the Clarity Crash Course, Click her to get this great FREE resource to help you get clear on what actually makes you happy, and it doesn’t have anything to do with a new Marc Jacobs bag.)

Happiness is what we are all after when we are dreaming about our dream life. We want to feel inspired, content, at ease, confident, and like we are making a difference.

The problem is that happiness can’t be accomplished through stuff, or getting “somewhere” in life.

In fact, it’s the opposite.

Happiness comes from the inside out.

Looking to externals is looking to the outside to fill the inside, and it just doesn’t work. We’ve all tried it, and we don’t need to go there.

Happiness comes from what we give, not what we get.

Last night I completed a powerful group coaching session with women that I love and genuinely care for, had a cuddle with my sweet dog, and while I was brushing my teeth I could hear my wonderful husband downstairs working on renovations.

It was then that I had an insight that kind of rocked me: I was living my dream.

No, it’s not a 6 figure business that has me travelling glamorously around the world while I sipped expensive wine.

It’s not a high status job that has a tonne of people working under me.

It’s also not fancy, with luxurious stuff.

But it is MY dream, and absolutely my version of success.

I am blessed to have found and married the greatest man I have ever known. I adore, admire, and am truly crazy about him. He is more than everything I could have hoped for, and the best part is: he loves me just as much back and now we’re starting our family together.

I feel like I make a meaningful difference for people every day so my heart overflows and I go to bed every night feeling blessed.

I love my career so much that it rarely feels like work and it consistently inspires and delights me…aaand pinch me: I get paid to do it.

I have time to do things that are important to me, like spending time with friends, reading books, fitness, yoga, meditation, and learning about anything that peaks my curiosity.

I am 100% authentic every single day. What you see is what you get and I never try to be someone else for anybody.

I live aligned with my values and what’s most important to me. I never compromise and never feel I have to.

My life is balanced with healthy boundaries and I am truly joyful.

I do what I want. This is HUGE for me!

I understand and love myself unconditionally and wholly. I am on my own side and am a great cheerleader for myself.

Every day I feel like I have meaningful interactions with people. Whether it’s with friends and family, my clients, or the server, I feel connected.

I remember daily, that I am also connected to something greater and that it is my privilege to serve others because we are all one and the same.

Is it glamorous? Probably not.

Am I so happy that I have a shit eating grin every night that I go to bed?

Absolutely. I feel like I’ve won.

Why do I share all this with you? It’s not to boast about how awesome my life is (although if you want to tell me that I won’t argue with you), but it’s to give you another perspective of success.

Is success really about having the right title, the right bank statement, or the right stuff?

Some people will tell you that. Go ahead and try it, I haven’t met a person yet who achieved happiness that way.

I’m going to ask you to go deeper.

When you really think about what a perfect day would look like to you, what comes up for you? Who would be there? What would you be doing? How would you be feeling? What values are being honored there?

THIS is where you access your key to happiness. This is how you start to work from the inside out.

So, I want to hear from you: tell me about your perfect day and what about it is different than your current life? Then share with me one thing that you are going to do to move towards it below or in the Soul Sisterhood (click here to join us!)

Before I go, I have a few other quick things you might be interested in:

FREE Webinar for Anxiety Wednesday June 24th 7pm. Click here to register. 

The Soul-O-Preneur Course is up for sale for only $47. Click to learn more.

The LAST Soul Strategy Sessions of 2015 is open for registration: Tuesdays August 4th to September 22nd, 5:30 – 7pm. Click to learn more before it’s sold out!

Thank you for being the incredible light that you are! Keep shining and #daretobeyou.

Love and Light,

t

2 easy ways to become more positive, and they’re not what you think…

Hello Gorgeous,

As I write this, I’m officially 19 weeks pregnant as of yesterday and am slowly starting to get my energy back. Fitness has always been important to me and being too tired to move my body has been one of the hardest challenges of pregnancy so far. The good news is that I’m starting to get out for power walks, jogs, and now finally the gym for the first time this morning! Hallelujah! Pregnancy has turned a corner!

As I was leaving the gym this morning, I was thinking how good it felt to move my body, what a beautiful morning it was, and feeling great about life in general.

However this positivity was not how I was feeling even a few short weeks before.

I was totally noticing everything that was not great: my shitty sleep, the never ending exhaustion, mourning the loss of control and my “freedom,” not having clothes that fit anymore, the weird things happening to my body, and all the things I wanted to do but didn’t have the energy for.

I was totally looking at the world through a negativity bias.

This is when we tend to give more weight to negative information than the positive.

As I understand it, negativity bias is a very primal way of thinking because its purpose at one point was to keep us out of danger.

After all, thousands of years ago we needed to scan our environment all the time to keep us safe. If we heard rustling in the jungle and didn’t consider it a potential threat we had the real risk of being eaten by something.

Even though we don’t have the same kinds of threats anymore, we still have inherited a tendency to look for what’s wrong, rather than what’s right.

This brings me to a study I heard on CBC a while ago with pessimists, and optimists, and their accuracy at determining outcomes.

So, how accurate were each group at predicting outcomes?

The pessimists, were waaaaay more accurate at predicting outcomes. They saw themselves more accurately and did better overall.

But here’s the interesting part: the optimists were happier overall in life.

It reminded me of something I often think about when I’m having an argument: Would you rather be happy, or right?

I don’t know about you, but I choose happy any day!

How do we start to lean more to a happiness bias instead of a negative one?

Here are 2 easy-peasy ways, and probably not what you think:

  1. Savour the good moments. Spending a little bit of time everyday recounting the positive moments of your day and savouring them, helps rewire your brain to look for the good. By remembering good moments and feeling them, makes our brains and bodies feel like it’s happening all over again which is like a double benefit to us.
  2. Conscious acts of kindness. This can be as simple as emailing someone to thank them for something you are grateful for or consciously making someone’s life better such as doing something kind just for the sake of it. Doing good, makes us feel good. Simple as that!

The best part of feeling good, is to share it! Tell me about a positive moment in your day or your conscious act of kindness either in the Soul Sisterhood or below in the comments. While you’re at it, share with us your tricks for staying positive.

Oh! One more way to get bonus positivity points? Share the good stuff around! So feel free to share this email to all your friends, on Facebook, Twitter, you name it! Happiness can only increase by being shared.

Thank you for being a part of my community and being the beautiful light that you are. I often imagine what a different world we would live in if we all spent more time on things that make us happy, instead of just busy. You are a part of that shift, and I love you for it!

Love and Light,

t

What do handstands and qualifications have to do with each other?

As a yoga teacher, I will often throw in challenging poses like handstands that I know are going to be too difficult for most of the people to master easily.

No, not because I’m mean and I want to see them fail, but because I think it’s good to get used to the feel and prep of harder poses so eventually they will be able to do them.

Almost every time though, there’s a few students who sit on the floor and just watch no matter how many beginner steps I give them.

They sit there contentedly smiling and cheering students on who are trying and failing, but never actually attempting it themselves, believing it’s not for them.

I believe that to grow we must be willing to try things that challenge us and see what we can do even if we suck at it, and yoga is no exception.

So when I ask the students on the floor why aren’t they trying, it’s rarely because of an injury, it’s because they believe they aren’t qualified yet.

These are the most common excuses I hear:

I’m not strong enough yet.

I don’t think I can do it.

I’m not ready to try it yet.

I’m scared.

No shit, so is everyone else.

But instead of even testing to see if they can, they wait on the sidelines until they’re going to feeeeel ready for it.

Here’s the thing, we will never feel ready or qualified enough for the things life throws at us.

Ready is a myth, and a shitty excuse for not participating in your life.

I am also willing to bet my car (don’t be too excited, it’s not that awesome) that these same people live their whole lives sitting on the sidelines waiting, and we are all the person at different times in our lives.

We watch opportunities slip through our fingers to protect ourselves so we don’t have to be uncomfortable or get hurt.

But then we never fully engage with life, and will be left with regret and a whole pile of should haves.

We want our dream vacation to be perfect so we put it off until all the details are just right and everything is all figured out and it may be YEARS before that happens. But at least it will be perfect, right?

We put off sharing our skills until we hone them to perfection so we don’t make a mistake so no one finds out that we don’t actually know enough and don’t really deserve to be doing it.

We don’t take the first steps in building a business because we need to get the right website up first even though we don’t know what that would be but at least it would make us look like we know what we’re doing.

We don’t take the training we want because we don’t know enough first and are afraid of looking stupid in front of others believing of course everyone else would know more than us.

We want to say no, but not yet, because even though we’re exhausted and spread way too thing already, we don’t want to burn any bridges or piss anyone off.

We don’t start working out because we don’t know what we’re doing and certainly don’t want everyone else to know that we’re new at this.

We don’t go for the promotion because we don’t have 100% percent of the skills yet so there’s no point even trying.

The deepest learning from life is not from a book explaining theory, it’s from jumping in and figuring shit out.

You don’t have to do this recklessly, but it does mean getting your hands dirty, understanding that failure is not a character flaw, and being a little vulnerable.

Aaand the rewards? Emotional resilience (one of the markers for happiness), confidence (which can only be attained by doing things that are hard), and acquiring abilities faster than your peers (you will be ahead of the game).

You are not put on this earth to make people like you, or even to not look stupid, you are here to make a dent in the universe and its impossible watching from the sidelines.

Go on, jump in and see what you can do!

I want to hear from you now. Do you like handstands, and what did it take for you to try it? What have you done that was hard, but you jumped in anyways? Where have you been waiting in your life until you were “ready”? Tell me all about it below!

Dare to be you.

Love and Light,

t

A simple tweak that changes everything

Hello Gorgeous,

One thing I read everywhere these days is why mindsets are important and rightfully so.

A mindset is your attitude, or inclination towards something. It shapes your beliefs of what is possible and how you will respond through your behavior.

As an entrepreneur, the popular one in my circles is money mindsets, and eeeeeeeveryone is trying to sell entrepreneurs a positive money mindset as a way to make more money.

A poor money mindset for entrepreneurs shatters their confidence, limits their earning potential, and eventually will lead to burn out.

A positive money mindset creates possibility, action, and limitless earning potential.

The customer also benefits by often getting better service and products from someone who is excited and feels fresh about their work.

However, you don’t have to be an entrepreneur to have mindsets.

Mindsets are alive in everything we think and do.

The most common complaints I hear from women is that they feel overwhelmed, suffer from anxiety, and feel like they are treading water.

In the Soul Strategy Sessions we start early with mindset because this is one of the most powerful agents of change.

Everything begins with your thoughts.

Watch your thoughts; they become your words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become your character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
– Lao Tzu

Try this:

Right now grab a pen and paper and write down your biggest complaint about your life. Then write down what have you been believing about this situation. (Do you feel it’s out of your hands? Is it up to someone else? Are you worried about how others will see you? Is it too late? Are you waiting for something?) Then ask yourself: Is this actually true? If not, you’ve unmasked one of your beliefs that is contributing to your complaint. If you believe it to be true, what is in your power to begin to change your situation now? 

Once you complete this, tell me about what you discovered in the comments below.

Creating the right mindset puts you in control of your destiny which is empowering, exhilarating, and anything becomes possible.

It’s a simple tweak, and it is life altering.

This is why entrepreneurs can spend thousands of dollars to shift from a scarcity mindset to a more lucrative money mindset. It can be the difference between struggling to bring in cash to making tens of thousands aaaaaand having the life they want in the process.

If you’re treading water, it’s the difference of years of anxiety to becoming powerful and confident in your life.

With the right mindset:

You will be more confident in who you are, your choices, and your direction.

You will see yourself and your life more powerfully.

You will get into action with more ease to create the life you want. 

That’s huge, and the results are yours forever.

There’s only two weeks left before the next round of Soul Strategy begins and it’s filling up fast.

I love hearing from you, so go ahead and email me for more information or check out my website to learn more and register. 

If you know of a fabulous gal who needs to know about this, please forward this to them or share on social media by clicking the buttons below. 

I hope you are enjoying an incredible long weekend and I look forward to hearing from you soon!

Dare to be you. 

Love and Light,
t

the two words that make me cringe

Hello gorgeous,

I really hate the words “personal transformation.”

It makes me think of Jeff Goldblum in 80’s movie “The Fly.”

Sick! It makes me cringe just thinking about it!

Why? Because Jeff Goldblum was creepy and the words themselves mean to change completely.

And what the hell is so wrong with us anyways that we need to change into another being?

And why do we even think that it would be better?

You my friend, were born perfect and whole.

It doesn’t mean that we don’t pick up a few unskillful behaviors, and sometimes do things that we feel bad about and regret.

That’s part of the path of being human and having free will.

But you don’t need to “transform” from who you are, you are just fine exactly as you are.

I promise.

True change in your life comes from small consistent efforts with your behaviors, it’s not a weekend kind of thing no matter what they’re trying to sell you.

As someone who has been on this path for most of my life, I can tell you that it’s more like peeling off the layers that are no longer serving you to reveal who you truly are:

Light and possibility.

The layers come off slowly, sometimes painfully, like a slow Band-Aid.

Or sometimes it’s a quick insight that changes how you think and behave in a specific situation forever.

In all cases, it takes self-awareness, vulnerability, and a whole lot of courage to walk this path, and it’s the only way to get the life you truly want and become the person you were always meant to be.

And the other important part?

We don’t do it alone.

The Lone Ranger myth is just that, a myth.

We are not independent.

We are interdependent.

And we need each other, like we need oxygen.

The key is to find your people, who are also on this path and you can walk alongside each other.

Don’t worry, I’ve done the hard part for you and found those people.

You just need to join us.

If you haven’t already come join me in the Lightmaker’s Mastermind. You will get loving support from other women just like you who are walking the path of living better, and shine brighter.

Aaaand I have weekly office hours that you can get free coaching from me in the group. Yup, ask me anything.

You can do that right here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1620467418175337/

Even if you don’t join us, know that you are already whole and beautiful just the way you are, and you are loved.

Now, I’d love to hear from you. Does “The Fly” creep the hell out of you too? Or do you believe in transformation? Share your comments below, I love hearing from you!

We are beacons for each other. By shining our light we bring each other home to their own. Share this on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, and forward it to your friends.

You are a Lightmaker. 

Love and Light,
t

you should totally do this

Do as I say, not as I do!

Have you ever heard that one before?

I’m not totally sure if I ever actually heard that come out of my mom’s mouth, but it was definitely implied.

It was probably more like, my mom smiling at me in a loving way and saying:

“You’re so much smarter than your old mama, so you wouldn’t do this.”

Right.

As I sat in my naturopath’s office last week, she repeated back to me the words I had used to describe my life right now (FULL of should’s, have to’s, and need to’s).

At first I was frustrated with myself, I mean wasn’t I past this shit already?

Then my naturopath reminded me of that voice, the “should” voice, and to be kind to myself.

Gawd, I’m lucky to have women like this on my team!

It reminded of how important it is to model WHAT to do, and not so much what we say.

Let me tell you something: my mom worked her ass off.

She had the pressure of the world on her shoulders while she struggled to support our family. I remember her saying “but I HAVE to do this” more than any other sentence other than “I love you.”

Apparently I learned very well how to do that too.

I want you to know that this isn’t about placing blame, it’s just what I happened to pick up.

(FYI, I don’t have kids, so for me this isn’t about parenting.)

I share this to illustrate how we can significantly show other people what’s possible.

To shed light in a dark space.

To become a lightmaker.

Now, as we all know, it doesn’t work to tell people to do one thing and then do another.

To make a meaningful impact we can only walk our talk. Not because it’s what you SHOULD do, that poisons it, but because it feels really good to act in alignment with our beliefs.

When we are aligned with what we believe, say, and act, life becomes easier and we can let go into the flow of life.

When we say one thing and then do another, there’s always going to be friction.

So, what did I do to shift this predicament?

I’m starting with the easiest thing I know of:

Be mindful of what I say.

It’s quite difficult to “see” our beliefs because we don’t see them, we just believe them.

Most of us have no idea what we actually believe, we just assume things to be true and that everyone sees the world the way we do.

When you listen to what you say it gives you a clue to how you ACTUALLY see that world…and it may surprise you.

So, want to try this with me today?

Listen to what you say.

What do you find yourself saying most often? What do you complain about? What are you noticing? Is there a trend?

Keep a mental note of what you hear yourself saying.

Later today spend some time journaling the phrases you heard.

Reread them as though you were reading someone else’s journal through your most loving and compassionate self.

What do you think this person believes about themselves or others? How do they see the world? What are they afraid of? What do they long for?

Afterwards, from this loving self, imagine that you can give the person who wrote the journal entry exactly what they need in the most compassionate loving way.

Write to them. Tell them you understand.

Tell them you understand how hard they try, how much they want to succeed, to be loved, to be kind. Then congratulate them what a great job they are doing and how much you love them and will be there for them.

We could all use a little more kindness and a LOT less judgement.

The inside work changes our outer reality. You can do this.

I see you, and I know what you can do.

You can change the world with your light.

After you do the exercise join me in comments below and share what you learned! We are all meant to lead, inspire, and teach.

If you liked this post, I’d love it if you share it with all of your friends on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, and forward it to all of your friends.

We are lightmakers.

Dare to shine.

Love and Light,

t

the #1 complaint my clients have about working with me

I’ve got an important question for you, would you ever say to someone:

“I’ve decided that I don’t ever want to be happy.”

Or:

“I’ve decided to be happy in 5 years.”

I hope not.

So why don’t we do anything to ensure our happiness now?

Why do we wait to do something until…wait for it….until we feeeeeeel like doing it?

Or worse yet, why do we wait until the timing is right, or it happens magically for us?

Don’t tell me you don’t, because we all put our happiness off somewhat.

I’ve got a trick that will help you take control of your life.

It’s simple, and you will probably resist it (just like most of my clients initially do), it’s:

Schedule it in.

Sounds simple right?

So try it right now.

That massage you’ve been meaning to get to?  Schedule it in.

That girl’s weekend that you’ve wanted to get going?  Schedule that shit in too.

Want to go to the gym, yoga class, Crossfit, Pilates?  Schedule that puppy in.

Wishing for the past 6 months you could write in your gratitude journal?  Schedule that time in!

Wanting to make time to work ON your business instead of IN your business?  Schedule it IN!

Here’s the thing:

Scheduling makes it real.

This is the one thing that will get you closer to your dreams and the life you want to be living.

If you don’t schedule it in, life will keep on life-ing, because that’s what it does. Shit will still keep happening, and in 5 years your life will not have changed one bit in the direction you want it to.

Scheduling it in ENSURES that you are doing the important things you need to do for your happiness, life, and your business.

I make every single one of my clients schedule in their important things.

At first it makes them nuts, and they want to be vague and give be some bullshit answer like “next week.”

So I press on: when next week? What day and time?

Why do I want to piss off my clients?

I don’t, but I am committed to getting you results, and this is your first step. 

Seriously. Be honest with me, and most importantly yourself:

How long have you been waiting? Whether it’s for the right time, more time, or any time?

This is YOUR time. You get to decide how you’re going to use it.

So, I want to hear from you: What’s the first thing you are going to schedule in? Share it in the comments below, I love hearing from you!

Did you find this post useful? Then please share it with all of your friends, Tweet it out loud, and forward it to everyone who needs to hear this (which is like…everybody). You can be the light in somebody’s life, just by sharing what you learn and love.

Thanks for being the brilliant light that you are and I can’t wait to share with you the exciting goodies I have planned for you coming up!

Love and Light,

t