what to do with doubters

My biggest regret of my 20’s was that I didn’t have enough confidence to pursue what I really wanted until I was in my 30’s.

When I was 25, I knew I wanted to be a Coach. I didn’t know what that could look like but I knew that’s what I wanted to do. When I lived in Calgary, I even went to check out Haskayne School of Business’s Coaching program because that’s the only one I knew of.

But I didn’t sign up, and there’s 2 reasons why:

  • The college was a business college and I had no desire to get a business certification and had no experience in business at that point.
  • I was not a 50 year old woman in a grey suit, so I had no idea how I could possibly be a coach.

But the biggest reason, is that I was always encouraged to get a more ‘stable’ job.

You know what I mean: something with a steady income, benefits, and the fancier the title the more secure it would be.

So, kept going back to school and trying to find that right ‘fit’ which never came.

When I was 29, I finally did it, I took my coaching certification and my yoga teacher training!

Now don’t get me wrong, as much as I had pressure to get a more stable career, my mom has been a huge supporter of all my dreams.

Yes, even the one about becoming a famous fashion designer (I could have been a damn good one too. You should have seen the amazing shit I came up with at 9 years old!).

However, we never really escape the fears of our loved ones do we?

My mom supported us from the time I was 6 on commission. I know that was the hardest thing in the world for her to do and she wouldn’t wish that on me in a million years. So naturally she would want me to have a regular paycheck, with low risk, and less demands on my time.

Other people in my life just didn’t understand, because the things that interested me weren’t conventional.

Also the things that interested me didn’t have status, or even seem like a job. (Yes, yoga teaching is an actual profession!)

Here’s the thing about advice: other people’s cautions, are just giving voice to THEIR own fears. Feel free to Tweet that.

They aren’t just telling you what you should be afraid of, they are telling you what they ARE afraid of.

So if you have a dream, and you have doubters, here’s what you should know:

  • Doubters are giving voice to their OWN fears.

Understand that they are giving voice to their biggest fears: instability, fear of loss, what others might think of them, losing everything to pursue a dream, and of course failure. Chances are that if you have doubters, it’s because they love you and want to protect you, but you do NOT have to buy into their story. That’s their stuff, and you don’t have to own it.

  • Even if you have a ‘stable’ career, there are no guarantees.

The average person will have at least 5 different careers, no jobs, careers. Any of us can get fired, laid off, or transferred at any time. Thinking that you have your career locked in just because you are paid by someone else is an illusion.

  • You have 1 life and you will spend the majority of your waking hours at work.

It’s not worth your life to sacrifice it to a job you resent, and/or doesn’t make the most of your talents and gifts. You are in fact ripping off the world. Stop it, we need you.

  • Your calling is a part of your make up.

What you are interested in, your talents, skills, history, inspiration, creativity is unique to you. If you start paying attention, it will start to materialize. Don’t worry if you don’t have it figured out yet, just start paying attention today.

  • Your life is your message.

What are you willing to get behind? The choices you make define your life. What are your choices saying about you, and where you are in your life right now? What do you want it to say? What choices can you make now to start becoming the person you are meant to be?

  • No one can truly know what is in your heart but you.

You are the only one you have to answer to at the end of your life. Will you have felt like you gave it your best? Will you feel like you contributed, like you were able to be used for something important? When you do what is right in your heart, the rest will fall into place. Trust me, there is a market for everything. Fulfillment comes from being used by a purpose larger than yourself.

  • Lastly, hire a coach.

Even if you never work with me, hire someone to be on your team, who gets your vision, and is determined to help you win. Coaches can see the larger picture, help you move through fear and doubt with grace, and keep you in action when you get stuck. You will get farther faster, with more ease and fun with a coach, I promise.

The New Year is fast approaching, and this is a time of renewed commitments and also creating inspired intentions for 2015. If you are ready to take on this year with heart, then I want to hear from you. I have a few spots opening up in the New Year for one on one clients to support them in creating clarity on their purpose, and creating a strategy to get there. Click here for a totally free Alignment Call and let’s create some magic for you this January!

If groups are more your thing, The Soul Strategy Sessions are incredible and filling up fast! The Sessions are for ambitious women who love to learn and grow together. You will learn how to create goals based on soul, reveal your light, and create action to get you where you are going.  Also, the price is going up $50 at 5pm tonight, and I don’t want you to miss out!

I always love hearing from you gorgeous: how do you deal with doubters, whether it’s your own or someone else’s? I can’t wait to see you in the comments below.

Did you like this post? Then please share it with all of your friends on Facebook, Tweet is out loud, and forward it to everyone you know! We all need support, and this might be exactly what someone you know needs to read today.

Thank you for continuing to let me into your inbox and your heart every week. I love you like a crazy person!

Love and Light,

t

how to be a light bearer

Hello gorgeous,

One day while I was still in my serving days in Calgary, I was walking to work along 17th Avenue on a gorgeous summer day.

It was late afternoon and the sun was hot as I was sweating and smiling, swept along the sea of busyness on the sidewalk. This was one of the things I loved most about living in inner city Calgary, I could and did walk everywhere.

Coming towards me was a young woman, obviously high as her limbs swung loosely from her joints.

As she passed by, she whispered in my ear:

“You’re fucking nothing.”

I was totally shaken. I could still feel the warmth of her breath after she walked away, legs swinging off her loose pelvis, probably oblivious to what she left behind.

It was like my worst fears had been confirmed, and by the time I got to work I felt deeply violated.

Not only by her words. But by how physically close she got to me, and most unsettling of all: was how close she got into my own tender and vulnerable heart.

Growing up with an alcoholic parent, I know that what addicts say is actually a reflection of how they see themselves.

But it still stung like an open wound, and to this day it gives me shivers when I think about it.

There’s no way to deny it, just as there is light there is also darkness.

Last week I signed the papers to become a mentor to a girl in grade 8 at Mother Teresa Middle School.

If you haven’t heard about MTMS, and you live in Regina, you totally should. You can learn more about them and their incredible mission here: http://mtmschoolregina.com/

MTMS have an incredible team who are creating light in a dark place.

I cannot tell you how excited I am to be joining them and spreading the light.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” -Mahatma Ghandi

This is one of the best known, and one of my favorite, quotes by Ghandi. However, I believe it’s incomplete. Why?

Because it is useless to be kind, compassionate, loving, and light filled if we are just sitting alone in our apartment being wonderful by ourselves.

For those qualities to matter, we need to make them meaningful through action.

Light is only helpful in darkness. You can Tweet that.

So this holiday season, I ask you to absolutely be the light, but also to do something with it:

Become a light bearer.

Make a difference for someone. This is a hard time of year for so many reasons for so many people.

Be the light, but also shine your light. Take action. Make a difference.

If you wondering, “Who am I to shine?” or, “What are could I possibly do?” Consider this:

The problem for most of us, is we’re asking the wrong questions.

Instead, ask: How can I be helpful?

Change that language and you will start to get some serious traction in EVERY area of your life. Meaning is found through each other and when we focus on serving we also benefit in a profound way.

And here’s the thing about light, it doesn’t matter how long the darkness has been there, once the light is on, it’s on.

I have 2 glorious ways to turn on the light with me this season:

Celebration of Light

Thursday December 18th from 7-9pm (or better yet, sign up right now!) to join me for the Celebration of Light held at the Bodhi Tree downtown. Last year we kept having to increase our cap of students because it kept filling up, and we expect it to fill again! Click here for more information and registration.

And

Soul Strategy Sessions in the New Year

Gain clarity on your purpose and how to build your life around what makes you happiest. Build courage as you take action every week, and confidence among a sisterhood of positive brave women who really get it. Join us for 90 minutes a week to focus solely on you to let your light shine! More information and registration here.

Sign up before December 15th and save $50!

Thank you for letting me into your heart (and your inbox) every week my light bearing friend!

If you liked this post, please share it on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, and forward it to all of your friends. You could be the light in somebody’s day, like you are in mine. J

I’d love to hear from you now: What are you planning to do this holiday season to shine a little brighter?

I look forward to seeing you in the comments below!

Love and Light,

t

holiday relief guide

December is upon us (how did that happen so fast?), and we are embarking on one of the craziest, most stressful times of year.

The pressure of holiday commitments, shopping, baking and cooking, and family, can start to feel like just way too much in such a short period of time.

This is also a time where we can feel not only emotionally spent and frazzled, but financially. It’s easy to notice everything you don’t have, or can’t afford, when everyone wants your money.

Our family gave up gift giving a long time ago. It’s just too hard to buy for people when you don’t know what they would want, or need, and invariably we would all just end up with more “stuff.” I don’t know about you, but I really don’t want more stuff!

So for us, Christmas has been about getting together, eating lots of mom’s yummy baking, and catching up.

Because I love you, here’s to get my best tips for managing the holidays:

1) Set limits on spending

Before you start your Christmas shop, decide before you shop how much you will spend, and stick to it. Better yet, make your gifts if you have the time!  It’s so easy to go over budget without a plan, and it can lead to the yucky Christmas hangover in January when the credit card bill comes in.

2) Create personal boundaries

Family can be wonderful and exhausting. If you know you can only handle a certain amount of time before your limit is up: make a plan. Decide how long you will be with them, plan for solo outings, and monitor your stress level for everyone’s well-being. It’s better to take a little break than to have a blow out or leave totally depleted. Sometimes smaller doses makes the holidays merrier!

3) Spend a few minutes everyday in silence

Getting quiet is one of the best way to sooth a frazzled mind. Even just 5 minutes is enough to calm your mind, get focused, and reset.

4) Sadness during the holidays

Christmas cannot only be stressful, but for many people it can also be a very sad time of year. For those of us who have lost someone, or something dear, Christmas can bring raw feelings to the surface. If this is you, make time to be extra kind and gentle with yourself, and create some time to honor your feelings and that which has been lost. In Finland, we have a tradition or going to the cemetery Christmas Eve before we start the celebrations as a way of remembering those we love and carrying their spirit with us during the holiday season.

5) Gratitude

Of course I’m going to slip this one in! Because Christmas has become so commercialized it can be easy to focus on getting, buying, and spending: a focus on what we don’t already have. True happiness and wealth comes from being grateful and wanting what’s already here. Spend a few minutes every day counting your many blessings and you will start to feel the wealth and abundance of your life.

6) Spread love

Let the holidays be about spreading your love and light. Be kind. Find ways to help others, and have others join you in it! Give freely (and I don’t mean stuff), give your: attention, your smiles, your warmth, your compassion, we all need it this time of year.

I have some incredible events happening that I want you to get in on:

The Celebration of Light – Thursday December 18th 7-9pm at Bodhi Tree Downtown (more info below)

And

The Soul Strategy Sessions – Tuesday January 6 to February 14th 2015, 5:30 -7pm.

I’d love you to share your best tips for managing the holiday season below:

Did you like this post? Sharing is caring my friend. Share this on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, or forward this to those you love. You can be the light in somebody’s day…you always are in mine!

Thank you for being the light that you are. Keep shining!

Love and Light,
t

can you defy logic, and why you totally should

I want to know, how do you make decisions?

Do you do a list of pro’s and con’s? Do you research all your options? How about ask other people for their thoughts and opinions?

Maybe you do all of the above to find the most logical answer?

I’m going to throw something out there for you:

What if the logical answer isn’t the right one?

Logic is based on making a decision through external factors: other people’s opinions, society’s norms and expectations, and if you think about it: logic is really based on conforming to something outside of you.

But is that what’s really best for you?

I want to share something very personal about me…I hate shopping.

I’ve been teaching yoga for so long that most of my clothes consist of spandex and sports bras with the odd 10 year old push up bra and little black dress crammed into the back of my closet.

So, that’s why I hate shopping, because I haven’t done it in so long I don’t feel like I know what to buy.

I used to love it.

When I was in elementary school I wanted to grow up to be a fashion designer. Before I taught yoga many years ago, I loved clothes, and loved creatively putting together outfits and feeling fabulously together. But it’s really hard to be put together with odds and ends, and I don’t love spending money on things I don’t have much use for: like normal clothes.

When I do go shopping (because let’s be realistic spandex is just not always appropriate), I feel like a deer in headlights.

I don’t get what’s going on in fashion, or what’s cool anymore, and feel largely too old for the clothes I used to gravitate towards.

So here’s what I did. I asked around. I looked at magazines. I started paying attention to what people are wearing and how.

I looked outside of myself for ‘my’ style.

And do you know what? It didn’t fit with me.

Honestly, I always have known what my style is.

I like very particular things, and I know what I feel great in, and what looks great on me. I even had a stylist tell me that!

So why was I looking outside of myself for the answer? The same reason you do: validation.

This summer I painted our front bench a vibrant aqua blue.

One of my family members came over a few days later poking fun at me asking “what did you do Tina?” like I made a horrible mistake and I should probably fix it, and fast. My response? Be nice.

I love that blue. I’m not afraid of colour and have lots of colour in my home also.

I don’t want a beige house any more than I want a beige life. It’s just not me, and I don’t need anyone’s permission.

Taupe or beige might be better for resale, says logic. But I have to live here says, my heart.

If we look inside, we always know.

We know the guy we like but maybe aren’t sure how others will react. We know what we should be charging for our services but are too afraid to ask for it. We know when something feels off. We know what paint colour we like, and we also know which one would be more practical and acceptable.

But practical and acceptable to others, doesn’t mean it’s the right choice for us.

Somewhere along the way we have learned to second guess ourselves, not trust our instincts, and rely on something or someone outside of ourselves for our choices.

Instead, try this next time:

When faced with a choice, or several choices, start by looking at one choice outside of your comfort zone that definitely would be wrong and openly consider it as a possibility. Then notice how your body feels, and there will be a feeling. It will actually feel wrong.

Once you get that feeling you’ll know what you don’t want.

Do the same thing with your other choices, and notice how they feel in your body. Eventually you will feel the right choice, just like when I feel great in the right outfit.

You will just know, and you can’t miss it.

I’d love to hear your thoughts: what do you do when you are faced with choices? Join me in the comments below.

Did you like this post? Sharing is caring my friend. Share this on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, or forward this to those you love. You can be the light in somebody’s day…you always are in mine!

Thank you for being the light that you are. Keep shining!

Love and Light,
t

what are you waiting for?

I was lucky enough to give a talk to the beautiful Rethink Breast Cancer group yesterday, and have had some time to reflect on it. Let me share a little gem that popped out of my mouth that has had me thinking about ever since.

But before I get to that, I want to ask you:

Do you bargain with yourself about your happiness?

Do you promise yourself that you’ll start dating once you lose that 5 or 30 pounds? Or maybe you’ll apply for that job once you finish your next training? Perhaps you’ll start taking care of yourself once your kids are a little older? Eating healthier when you have more time? Or maybe when you feel better, have more energy?

Is there a part of you that maybe even believes you have to earn it, or maybe that you will get to it later?

Guess what?

Time is an illusion. You don’t have more of it, and it is finite for sure.

Now here’s my gem for you:

Don’t wait to be happy, your life is now, and this moment is the only one you are guaranteed. You can tweet that my friend.

Happiness is here for the taking, it is here now, and it’s who you are.

I’ll invite you to take action now.

  1. Take a look at what you are believing is holding you back from taking action in your life to being happy.
  2. Then make a choice to do 3 small things this week that you know will increase your levels of happiness. It doesn’t have to be crazy, going outside for a walk with the dog, calling a girlfriend, and meal planning all count as great action steps

Now here’s the most important one…

  1. Schedule those 3 things in. Make them specific actions that you would be able to know if you did them or not, and put a day and time to them.
  2. Then do them this week, and then repeat the exercise next week.

The jig is up my friend. Consider yourself called out. It’s time to enjoy the gift of life you’ve been given because that’s what you are meant to be: happy.

All of us choose our life and everything in it whether we are conscious of it or not, so why not start becoming an active participant in your own joy and happiness instead of hoping it will happen by chance one day.

Today is your day and you are more powerful than you know.

Here’s what I propose, let’s start a happiness revolution, where we all start choosing joy and making choices to contribute to happiness every chance we get.

Why? Because happy people make better choices, not just for themselves, but for each other and our planet.

So, now I want to hear from you: what are your 3 steps this week, and how are you going to choose joy? Share it with me below, I love hearing from you!

Also, the next Soul Strategy is coming up soon and people have already started asking about it, so I’ve decided to open up the January Session today! I expect this one to fill quickly with the New Year approaching so don’t wait too long to save your spot.

I’ve had the pleasure of hosting 3 Soul Strategy Sessions this year, and inspiration has punched me in the genius bone to create a system with even greater and faster results than before! You won’t want to miss it!

Sign up here for more information and to register.

If you liked this post, please click one of the little boxes below to share the love on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, or forward it to all of your friends. Share the light gorgeous, and let’s illuminate the darkness together.

Love and Light,
t

remembering, honoring, and forgiveness

Tomorrow is Remembrance Day.
I remember as a small kid bringing my dollar (it was paper money back then) to school so I could wear a poppy, and then going to assembly to have 2 minutes of silence. I don’t remember much else. There may have been a recording of a bugle, and there might have been a reading of Flanders Fields, but all I really remember is standing for 2 agonizingly long minutes in uncomfortable silence as I tried not to fidget or tease my friends next to me.

Those two minutes of discomfort made the event important and sacred.

Even though I didn’t totally understand, I knew there was something meaningful happening, so I should be still and quiet to honor it.

In Canada, for many generations we have been insulated from war on our doorstep.

We haven’t had to worry about our homes being bombed, food and water rations, or running away from our homes, and lives, with only our clothes on our backs. We also haven’t had to watch hundreds of our friends, family, neighbors, and spouses leave for war to fight for our lives knowing we may never see them again. But this is reality in too many parts of the world right now.

We have heroes among us who willingly join the armed forces to fight for democracy, freedom, and equality.

The very things we often take for granted because we’ve never known anything else. 

We are so lucky to live here.

I have not yet lost anyone to war, but I’ve born witness for students whose sons fought in Iraq. I’ve seen their fear and stress as they waited for phone calls just to know their baby was alive, and shared in their joy when they found out they were coming home.

Both of my grandfather’s fought for Finland’s freedom in WWII.

My parents taught me pride for their country’s freedom (I was born in Canada), and have shared many stories of war that they remember as children.

I called my mom this morning to have her share a few of her memories with us.

She told me about Kemi (her home town) being bombed and having to flee to live with another family in Southern Finland.

When they returned home after the war, Kemi was destroyed.

After the war mom’s dad moved to Rovaniemi to rebuild it, and recalls that there was only 5 houses left standing in the whole city, the rest were simply basements with a chimney. A year later my mom, her siblings, and her mom moved into a rebuilt basement to join her dad in Rovaniemi.

It took 3 more years before they had a home.

My Mom also shared a story of the most beautiful thing she had ever eaten: an orange.

It was after the war when she was six or seven years old. She remembers taking the segments out piece by piece with her older sister marveling at what a miraculous food it was.

To her there was nothing better.

This is still such a vivid memory to her, and she laughs every time she tells it!

The other piece of Remembrance Day I choose to focus on is forgiveness, because without forgiveness there is no hope of anything different.

I dream of a world that no longer has the need for war: a world that is tolerant, peaceful, and free, and that starts in each one of our hearts.

“Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past.” – Lily Tomlin

Forgiveness is so crucial because we are tied to whatever we hate or fear. Whatever we are tied to also binds our children, and our children’s children. The cycle just continues.

Let the hate stop here.

It’s not easy. It can be one of the hardest burdens to let go of because our hurts can become ingrained in our identity and how we see the world.

Yet if we really want a world that is free, tolerant, and equal, it starts with each one of us.

As you take your two minutes of silence tomorrow at 11am, I invite you to join me in remembering all those who have died, and those who continue to fight for freedom, and if it feels timely and right, to also open your hands and your heart…and let go.

I always love hearing from you. What are your thoughts, and how do you honor Remembrance Day? Join me in the comments below!

Do you know of someone who should join our Sisterhood? Sharing is caring! Share this on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, or forward to those you love. You can be the light in somebody’s day…you always are in mine. 🙂

Thank you for being the light that you are!

Love and Light,
t

How to change a life

Hello gorgeous,

I want to tell you about a time when I was in my early 20’s, and I had my first real grown up relationship with a sweet young man named Austin.

We met in Jasper, and although my intention was to work there just for the summer and return to university in the fall, we decided to move in together instead and we stayed there another 3 ½ years.

After that we moved to Calgary to go back to school. He took welding at SAIT, and I took graphic design at ACAD. After about 6 months though, we were not doing so well as a couple.

I had recently gotten a job at Lululemon and was really loving it there.

I loved the clothes, but more than that I was loving the culture. At that time, Lulu was still franchise, and Russ was seriously an amazing owner. With 20ish women and the odd man working there, he could have had his hands full, but he created an environment of integrity, authenticity, and a lot of fun!

Lululemon brought me to my first yoga class, taught me how to have difficult conversations, and how to create goals.

Truly, Russ and my experience at Lulu helped form my path as a yoga instructor and coach today. I will always be grateful for that time in my life, because even though I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to “be” when I grew up, I definitely learned about my passions!

One day after I came home from work, Austin looked very sad and stated that things weren’t working with us.

I kind of brushed it off and said, well let’s keep trying.

I come from a family that sticks things out no matter how bad, and one thing I knew how to do very well was how to stay.

So I asked “What do we need to do to make things better?” We had been through this before, and I thought we’d just have a talk and move on.

“I don’t want to try anymore,” said Austin quietly.

BOOM! The floor fell out from under my feet, and I was falling. The reality of what was happening was swirling around me and I had no idea what I was going to do or where the ground was.

“Okay,” I said.

That was the last night he slept there. He moved out the next day, and I was left with the emptiness and confusion of a first love break-up.

I was floored how 5 words suddenly changed everything in my life.

Nothing was the same. Who was I even without him? What did I even like? I knew what WE liked. I realized that I had lost myself somewhere.

I wasn’t just grieving the relationship, I also had the huge task of discovering who I was and rebuilding me. The worst part was, I was totally alone in a big city without him. I had nobody else.

I called Lulu the following day asking for a personal health day, and to see if someone could cover my shift for me. It was Jenn V who answered, she asked if I was alright and what was wrong.

I started crying, and told her that Austin and I had just broken up. Jenn V was shocked, and assured me that my shift would be covered.

I stammered out a “thank you,” and said, “you know what the worst part is? I’m totally alone. I have no one here and I don’t know what to do.”

“Don’t be silly, Tina,” she said “you have 15 of the best friends you will ever have right here!”

Of course I started bawling at this point, because there was a part of me that knew it was true. That store had the most loving, supportive, and compassionate environment I have ever been in. I still have friends from the 4th Street store, and love to see how their lives have grown and developed over the years.

So why do I share this story?

Not because I love sharing my ugly cry moments, but because Jenn V was my light in one of the darkest moments of my life.

She gave me the greatest gift one human can give to another: she made me feel safe.

All of us, are powerful beings. We influence our world with how we choose to live every day. We are interconnected and we touch each other all the time without even being aware of it. I don’t know if Jenn V to this day knows how powerful her words were to me and the effect she had on me.

Life is really hard for all of us.

As much as we try to control everything (you know you do!), and mitigate risks, there’s no guarantees. Every single one of us goes through loss, and a very long list of challenges and tragedies that we also share.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” -Ian Maclaren 

To be kind, is to see the humanity in front of you and to also acknowledge your own.

Kindness is the very practice of goodness. It is not being blind to suffering in front of you, but to say “me too” and “I’m in here with you.”

I know who you are, and I know what you can do. You can change the world with your smile, and you can make another person feel safe. You can change a life.

So, what’s one way you can start changing the world one life at a time?

Practice seeing people.

Look people in the eye. Smile at them. See them as friends, or even family, that you just haven’t met yet. Let them into your heart, and let yourself be moved. Most importantly, let yourself be seen by reaching out and saying “I’m in here with you, you’re safe.”

“How close does the dragon’s spume

Have to come? How wide does the crack

In heaven have to split?

What would people look like

If we could see them as they are,

Soaked in honey, stung and swollen,

Reckless, pinned against time?

– Ellen Bass, If You Knew

 

You might be wondering how you can live more purposefully, more impactfully, more authentically.

I’d love for you to join the Sisterhood in the Soul Strategy Sessions. Learn how to design a life that is meaningful to you, and how to live powerfully with an incredible group of women waiting to be the best friends you’ve ever had and all saying, “Me too, I’m in here with you, let’s do this!”

I always love hearing from you! What do you do to reach out to others to make them feel safe? Is that important to you? Share your comments here.

Do you know of someone who should join our Sisterhood? Sharing is caring! Share this on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, or forward to those you love. You can be the light in somebody’s day, just like Jenn V was for me. J

Thank you for being the light that you are!

Love and Light,
t

shifting your perspective can change everything

My mom has always called me “an old grandma.”

Seriously. Since I was a toddler, this has been my mom’s nickname for me. Somehow I’ve been blessed with a unique outlook that has been beyond my years from even when I was small. I am moved by the human experience, and have an immense compassion for, as well as intuitive understanding of people and why we do what we do.

This is evident in one of the special gifts I have which is the ability to see from different perspectives.

It has been an integral piece in mastering the art of my life and I am grateful to help to do the same.

My cousin recently shared one of my uncle’s favorite stories of me when I was probably around 3 and he was visiting us from Finland.

He said I quietly stood in his room and watched him pack, and then suddenly said, “It’s so sad to see someone you love packing to go away.”

When I was 21 and living in Jasper, I was asked if I would model in a lingerie show for a ladies night. Somehow stammered yes.

I remember someone asked why I said yes when I felt so shy and insecure, and my response was: “I may never look like this again, and I know when I get older I’ll regret not enjoying it.”

The person who asked me was shocked and said I shouldn’t say things like that, but I knew on a deep level that it was true. I understood that I would have regretted not appreciating my beauty and youth while I had it because I knew it was only for a short period of my life.

Both of the above stories are examples of a shift in perspective of from ‘I’ to a wider view.

The first one is from a ‘we’ perspective and the latter is from the ‘looking back’ perspective which I will explain in a moment.

Sometimes we get stuck with how to proceed because we are only seeing it from the perception of “I” and how we personally are feeling about it in the moment.

Although our singular perspective is true for us, it is incomplete and gaining a wider perspective helps us understand the situation more fully.

Taking other perspectives, provides a wider view to see more angles of any situation creating deeper insights than just looking from ours alone.

And THAT my friend, can propel us into courageous action!

Here’s 3 that you can use on your own to get out of your own way and get moving:

1)View of ‘we’.
Experience the whole system of ‘we’ from the inside out. This is a perspective of how the situation affects us as a whole. This is the story of my uncle and I when he was leaving.

2) Fly on the wall.
Look from “the fly on the wall” perspective of everyone involved, or even anyone from the outside looking in.

3)Looking back.
Imagine yourself far into the future looking back at this situation as a whole. I used this perspective in the Jasper modeling show.

As always, I love hearing from you and would love to know what you do to get out of your own way! You can post your comments below.

If you liked this post, please share it on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, or forward to all of your friends! Knowledge isn’t just power, its freedom, and we can be the vehicles of change for each other.

Thank you for being the courageous woman that you are.

I believe that when we clarify what we truly want for ourselves, how we want to feel, and the world we are creating, we can positively impact our lives and our world. Why? Because women who are happy are better leaders, mothers, partners and friends and are able to positively influence the people around them. We are the change!

Love and Light,
t

fall: creating and starting again

This first week of September always has that feel of excitement of the first day of school. I want new clothes, create fun activities to look forward to, and press the reset button on my commitments. I never really grew out of back to school mode and I feel a real sense of excitement and anticipation for what the rest of the year ahead holds for me.
 
It is also when I like to try on new activities, sign up for classes, and reinvent who I want to be and what I want to do to support that beingness I’m creating for this year.
 
This season in particular always reminds me to recommit to goals I had created yet not followed through on as diligently as I would have liked to through the summer. Can you relate to me at all?
 
To support you in your back to school adventures, here’s a FREE tool I’ve created just for you to design your best fall yet! I hope you enjoy it, and I’d love to hear your insights below.
 
If you love this as much as I do, please forward it to a friend, share it on Facebook, or Tweet it out loud! You never know who could use a little help in starting again or pressing the reset button!

Get your workbook now!

Love and Light,
t

home wrecking cornflakes and castles built from love

I had this dear friend years ago in Calgary who, when we met, was going through a divorce.

Sam was one of those people who just made you feel good being around them, and had a way about speaking deep truth with a combination of sharp wit and bittersweet poetry.

I’ll never forget what he said when I asked him why he was getting divorced. He said, “Tina, people don’t get divorced because of one big thing that happened. It’s all the little things that add up to be so big that you finally end up getting divorced because of the way your partner eats their Cornflakes.”

I was stunned. How does someone get divorced over Cornflakes?

But isn’t it always the little things that create the bomb?

The one too many times being asked what you are going to do, when you don’t know what you’re going to do. The one extra thing on your To-Do list that brings you to overwhelm. The too many times they said they would call, and then didn’t. The dishes left in the sink after coming home from a long day. The pants that finally really don’t fit, and you can no longer pretend you haven’t put on weight. The fussy copy machine that suddenly brings you to tears.

All of it has become too much and too big to handle.

It’s like you keep chucking all the hurts together into one big hurt pile that is so big, smelly, and wide, that you can’t see any way around it, and all you want to do is run away from it or do something drastic.

Just like it’s the small things that create the BIG problem. It’s the small things that also create a great life.

When my husband Dave and I first met, I had this vision of us building a castle with our love. (Did I mention I’m a romantic?)

Every kindness, every phone call, every bittersweet good bye (we did long distance for a year) was like a brick building the foundation for our life together. The more love-bricks we had, the more solid our castle would be to endure the tests of time.

Castles are also fortresses: they protect what we hold dear, and keep out unwanted invaders.

Castles require a lot of maintenance to patch the holes and build new towers to keep it strong and beautiful, so it’s important to create new bricks daily. I also use this metaphor for how I live my life. I create love-bricks by how I choose to live everyday.

So before you end up wanting to end your relationship because of Cornflakes.

Or quit your job because the copy machine is fussy, or want to run away from your life because it’s become too much to handle, try this and start building yourself a huge love-filled-joy-castle that you can lean into as support when things are challenging.

Here’s how:

  1. Flip it.

This is a game I learned from one of my sweet friends and fellow Soul Strategizer. When something looks challenging, or upsetting: flip it. Look to find the good in the situation. Being able to change your outlook is one of the most powerful things you can learn how to do to change your life.

  1. Practice Gratitude.

I teach gratitude in every single yoga class because it is a scientifically proven way to rewire your brain to be happier. The point of gratitude is not to make sure you are really grateful for a few things, it’s to teach your brain to start looking for the little wonderful things in the moment. Each time you do that, you are reminded how lucky you, are and how good your life is.

  1. Integrity.

Decide what’s really important to you and practice integrity with it every single day. If health is important to you, then make healthy meal choices, get enough sleep, and move every day. If your partnership is important make time to actually hear your partner and connect with them meaningfully every day. If joy is important to you, then do things that make you feel joyous every day. It will feel like effort in the beginning, but eventually it will just be what you do and how you live. It’s totally worth a little bit of effort now to make the rest of your life great.

  1. Create Positive Memories.

Get out and DO stuff! Go outside, meet people, listen to music, learn a new instrument, feel the wind on your skin, volunteer. My favorite memories this summer are walking my puppy Walter with my husband in the evenings. It’s time that we are guaranteed outside together and we have wonderful conversations as we try to teach our puppy to walk in the evening breeze. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you aren’t in front of a screen. Not because I have a problem with screens, I have a problem with the way we check out when we are in front of them, and most of us are in front of them A LOT. Your life is lived, not watched.

You, my friend, are a powerful being. You have the power to create anything that you want for your life, it just takes action. Every day you are creating your life, consciously or not, you are building your castle. So you might as well build it beautifully on purpose so you can aim for what you want and get closer to getting there.

Did you like this post? Then please share it on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, or forward it to a friend. You never know who you might help by sharing the love around!

I’d love to hear from you now! How do you protect yourself from the little things that can bring you down? I’d love to hear your insights below.