a pact we should make

Hello Gorgeous,

I’ve been thinking about you A LOT, and I have an idea…

I want to make a pact with you.

Yeah, yeah, you’re probably want to know what it is first, right?

What if today could be the day that you don’t beat yourself up for all the things you didn’t get around to?

What if you didn’t look for ways that you think you are not quite good enough, wrong, or imperfect?

What if today you didn’t have so many expectations that it would be impossible for anyone to complete even if we did have 36 hour days?

If you didn’t make yourself feel small or less than, to whatever silly standard you’ve been holding yourself to?

What if today was the day you counted your blessings and made yourself the very first one on the list?

What if instead you noticed how far you’ve come and how much progress you’ve made?

What if today your standard is one of holding yourself to a standard of kindness over perfection?

What if today you embraced the fullness of you? Your gigantic heart, your generous spirit, and how hard you try every single day?

What if today you saw yourself as you truly are:

Beautiful. Whole. Enough.


It takes courage.

You’ve been telling yourself something very different for a long time, so it can be scary to try this on. But I’m here with you, we’re going to do this together remember?


Right now you might be thinking:

But what if I’m actually not good enough?

What if I deserve to be hard on myself?

What will other people think of me if I think I’m already enough?

What will keep me from becoming complacent?


Here’s what I have to say to you my beautiful friend:

It’s not even possible for you to be less than enough. You are love, you are light, and you are the world’s wish wrapped up as a human being. All is possible through you, because you are potential itself. You are divine and you matter.

Thank you for being a part of my life, I truly cherish, and love you. So, are you going to join me in the pact? Let me know that you’re in on the comments below!

If you know anyone who needs to hear this message today, please feel free to be their light and share it on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, and forward it to your friends.

We are beacons for each other. By shining our light we bring each other home to their own.

Love and Light,


the gift everyone really wants to get

Omg! Omg! Oh my gawwwwwd! I did it. Yes I did.

It’s only a few days before Christmas and I made my very first video.

Just. For. You.

Don’t worry, it’s not like 45 minutes long of my rambling about how to correctly fold a fitted sheet (although this is an important life skill that I do very well).

It’s just a little 2 minute somethin’ somethin’ about my secret weapon to giving the gift everyone really wants for Christmas that only you can give.

(It only took me about 39 takes before I could get one without cussing like a mo-fo, or doing horse lips. Maybe if I can figure out this video editing thing, I’ll leave them in at the end for outtakes for you. They were hysterical!)

Before I get to the video I have a couple of offerings I want to tell you about, and a few requests.

Yes, requests of YOU!

First of all, requests:

Video Q&A. I am really digging this video thing, and I’d love to do a Q&A with YOU! All you have to do is email me here, leave your name, and ask me a question! Then, I will answer it on video. Easy, huh? Now let’s keep this clean and relevant, shall we lovely?

Blog suggestions. I am starting to look at blog ideas for the New Year, and I’d love to hear from you! What would you like to read or learn more about? Which posts have spoken to you, and you’d like me to expand on? Is there something that you’ve just been waiting for, but haven’t seen it yet? Email me my friend, I love hearing from you!

Here’s the thing: I write for YOU, always.

And….I want the content to be relevant as well as entertaining for you and your life. Feel free to email me your suggestions, questions, and comments anytime…but now would also be good! Wink, wink.

Secondly, offerings:

My prices are going up January 1st, 2015 and I don’t want you to miss out if you’ve been meaning to work with me.
If you book an alignment call or Soul Strategy Session before January 1st, you still have a chance to get in on 2014 pricing. I know, you might be thinking to yourself that you don’t want to be thinking about this right now after all, it’s only Christmas,  and 2015…is like in 2015!!! You’ve got loads of time, right?

But seriously, that’s only a week and a half away.

Give yourself the present that will stay with you a life time.

You can never un-know what you know, and trust me (and the hundreds of women I’ve worked with), that you will gain a deep knowing that will guide you for the rest of your life.

Are you committed to finally getting real, living authentically, and increasing your confidence? Then let’s connect and make that happen for you! My one-on-one schedule is almost full for the next 3 months and the Soul Strategy Sessions are filling up fast! 

One on One Coaching
This is for women who are ready to start living from a place of authenticity, crank up their personal volume, and regain themselves in the process as they build confidence.  I have a few spots opening up in the New Year for one-on-one clients to support them in creating clarity on their purpose, and creating a strategy to get there. Click here for a totally free Alignment Call and let’s create some magic for you this January!

“I have witnessed my confidence and skill set grow, which in turn has helped me to become a more effective leader, both in and out of work, and has allowed me to better focus on what is important to me and how to attain my goals.  Tina’s warm, endearing and say-it-like-it-is coaching style was just what I needed.  She has wisdom and experience beyond her years and I am so pleased to have worked with her”.- Penny McCall, BSA, MSc, PAg

Soul Strategy Sessions
The Sessions are for ambitious women who love to learn and grow together! You will learn how to create goals based on soul, reveal your light, and create action to get you where you are going. This is 90 minutes every week devoted just to you, among a loving and positive group of women, and creating your best possible life based on what you love and value most. Many women choose to do this journey with a close friend as well to share the experience with. Click here for more information and registration. 

“Through Tina’s inspiration and amazing light in which everyone could use a dose of; I have begun my journey through my life as the boss, I have gained back confidence that I am so happy to have back. I have been able to meet amazing women who keep going back. “- Nicole Abott, Social Worker

Okay, now for the video!


Click the image below to watch the cuss and horse lip free version. 

I always love hearing from you gorgeous, and can’t wait to hear what your thoughts are on presence…and of course my first video! You can do all that here. 🙂

Did you like this post? Then please share it with all of your friends on Facebook, Tweet is out loud, and forward it to everyone you know! We all need support, and this might be exactly what someone you know needs to read today.

Thank you for continuing to let me into your inbox and your heart every week. I love you like a crazy person!

Love and Light,

how to be a light bearer

Hello gorgeous,

One day while I was still in my serving days in Calgary, I was walking to work along 17th Avenue on a gorgeous summer day.

It was late afternoon and the sun was hot as I was sweating and smiling, swept along the sea of busyness on the sidewalk. This was one of the things I loved most about living in inner city Calgary, I could and did walk everywhere.

Coming towards me was a young woman, obviously high as her limbs swung loosely from her joints.

As she passed by, she whispered in my ear:

“You’re fucking nothing.”

I was totally shaken. I could still feel the warmth of her breath after she walked away, legs swinging off her loose pelvis, probably oblivious to what she left behind.

It was like my worst fears had been confirmed, and by the time I got to work I felt deeply violated.

Not only by her words. But by how physically close she got to me, and most unsettling of all: was how close she got into my own tender and vulnerable heart.

Growing up with an alcoholic parent, I know that what addicts say is actually a reflection of how they see themselves.

But it still stung like an open wound, and to this day it gives me shivers when I think about it.

There’s no way to deny it, just as there is light there is also darkness.

Last week I signed the papers to become a mentor to a girl in grade 8 at Mother Teresa Middle School.

If you haven’t heard about MTMS, and you live in Regina, you totally should. You can learn more about them and their incredible mission here: http://mtmschoolregina.com/

MTMS have an incredible team who are creating light in a dark place.

I cannot tell you how excited I am to be joining them and spreading the light.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” -Mahatma Ghandi

This is one of the best known, and one of my favorite, quotes by Ghandi. However, I believe it’s incomplete. Why?

Because it is useless to be kind, compassionate, loving, and light filled if we are just sitting alone in our apartment being wonderful by ourselves.

For those qualities to matter, we need to make them meaningful through action.

Light is only helpful in darkness. You can Tweet that.

So this holiday season, I ask you to absolutely be the light, but also to do something with it:

Become a light bearer.

Make a difference for someone. This is a hard time of year for so many reasons for so many people.

Be the light, but also shine your light. Take action. Make a difference.

If you wondering, “Who am I to shine?” or, “What are could I possibly do?” Consider this:

The problem for most of us, is we’re asking the wrong questions.

Instead, ask: How can I be helpful?

Change that language and you will start to get some serious traction in EVERY area of your life. Meaning is found through each other and when we focus on serving we also benefit in a profound way.

And here’s the thing about light, it doesn’t matter how long the darkness has been there, once the light is on, it’s on.

I have 2 glorious ways to turn on the light with me this season:

Celebration of Light

Thursday December 18th from 7-9pm (or better yet, sign up right now!) to join me for the Celebration of Light held at the Bodhi Tree downtown. Last year we kept having to increase our cap of students because it kept filling up, and we expect it to fill again! Click here for more information and registration.


Soul Strategy Sessions in the New Year

Gain clarity on your purpose and how to build your life around what makes you happiest. Build courage as you take action every week, and confidence among a sisterhood of positive brave women who really get it. Join us for 90 minutes a week to focus solely on you to let your light shine! More information and registration here.

Sign up before December 15th and save $50!

Thank you for letting me into your heart (and your inbox) every week my light bearing friend!

If you liked this post, please share it on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, and forward it to all of your friends. You could be the light in somebody’s day, like you are in mine. J

I’d love to hear from you now: What are you planning to do this holiday season to shine a little brighter?

I look forward to seeing you in the comments below!

Love and Light,


can you defy logic, and why you totally should

I want to know, how do you make decisions?

Do you do a list of pro’s and con’s? Do you research all your options? How about ask other people for their thoughts and opinions?

Maybe you do all of the above to find the most logical answer?

I’m going to throw something out there for you:

What if the logical answer isn’t the right one?

Logic is based on making a decision through external factors: other people’s opinions, society’s norms and expectations, and if you think about it: logic is really based on conforming to something outside of you.

But is that what’s really best for you?

I want to share something very personal about me…I hate shopping.

I’ve been teaching yoga for so long that most of my clothes consist of spandex and sports bras with the odd 10 year old push up bra and little black dress crammed into the back of my closet.

So, that’s why I hate shopping, because I haven’t done it in so long I don’t feel like I know what to buy.

I used to love it.

When I was in elementary school I wanted to grow up to be a fashion designer. Before I taught yoga many years ago, I loved clothes, and loved creatively putting together outfits and feeling fabulously together. But it’s really hard to be put together with odds and ends, and I don’t love spending money on things I don’t have much use for: like normal clothes.

When I do go shopping (because let’s be realistic spandex is just not always appropriate), I feel like a deer in headlights.

I don’t get what’s going on in fashion, or what’s cool anymore, and feel largely too old for the clothes I used to gravitate towards.

So here’s what I did. I asked around. I looked at magazines. I started paying attention to what people are wearing and how.

I looked outside of myself for ‘my’ style.

And do you know what? It didn’t fit with me.

Honestly, I always have known what my style is.

I like very particular things, and I know what I feel great in, and what looks great on me. I even had a stylist tell me that!

So why was I looking outside of myself for the answer? The same reason you do: validation.

This summer I painted our front bench a vibrant aqua blue.

One of my family members came over a few days later poking fun at me asking “what did you do Tina?” like I made a horrible mistake and I should probably fix it, and fast. My response? Be nice.

I love that blue. I’m not afraid of colour and have lots of colour in my home also.

I don’t want a beige house any more than I want a beige life. It’s just not me, and I don’t need anyone’s permission.

Taupe or beige might be better for resale, says logic. But I have to live here says, my heart.

If we look inside, we always know.

We know the guy we like but maybe aren’t sure how others will react. We know what we should be charging for our services but are too afraid to ask for it. We know when something feels off. We know what paint colour we like, and we also know which one would be more practical and acceptable.

But practical and acceptable to others, doesn’t mean it’s the right choice for us.

Somewhere along the way we have learned to second guess ourselves, not trust our instincts, and rely on something or someone outside of ourselves for our choices.

Instead, try this next time:

When faced with a choice, or several choices, start by looking at one choice outside of your comfort zone that definitely would be wrong and openly consider it as a possibility. Then notice how your body feels, and there will be a feeling. It will actually feel wrong.

Once you get that feeling you’ll know what you don’t want.

Do the same thing with your other choices, and notice how they feel in your body. Eventually you will feel the right choice, just like when I feel great in the right outfit.

You will just know, and you can’t miss it.

I’d love to hear your thoughts: what do you do when you are faced with choices? Join me in the comments below.

Did you like this post? Sharing is caring my friend. Share this on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, or forward this to those you love. You can be the light in somebody’s day…you always are in mine!

Thank you for being the light that you are. Keep shining!

Love and Light,

what are you waiting for?

I was lucky enough to give a talk to the beautiful Rethink Breast Cancer group yesterday, and have had some time to reflect on it. Let me share a little gem that popped out of my mouth that has had me thinking about ever since.

But before I get to that, I want to ask you:

Do you bargain with yourself about your happiness?

Do you promise yourself that you’ll start dating once you lose that 5 or 30 pounds? Or maybe you’ll apply for that job once you finish your next training? Perhaps you’ll start taking care of yourself once your kids are a little older? Eating healthier when you have more time? Or maybe when you feel better, have more energy?

Is there a part of you that maybe even believes you have to earn it, or maybe that you will get to it later?

Guess what?

Time is an illusion. You don’t have more of it, and it is finite for sure.

Now here’s my gem for you:

Don’t wait to be happy, your life is now, and this moment is the only one you are guaranteed. You can tweet that my friend.

Happiness is here for the taking, it is here now, and it’s who you are.

I’ll invite you to take action now.

  1. Take a look at what you are believing is holding you back from taking action in your life to being happy.
  2. Then make a choice to do 3 small things this week that you know will increase your levels of happiness. It doesn’t have to be crazy, going outside for a walk with the dog, calling a girlfriend, and meal planning all count as great action steps

Now here’s the most important one…

  1. Schedule those 3 things in. Make them specific actions that you would be able to know if you did them or not, and put a day and time to them.
  2. Then do them this week, and then repeat the exercise next week.

The jig is up my friend. Consider yourself called out. It’s time to enjoy the gift of life you’ve been given because that’s what you are meant to be: happy.

All of us choose our life and everything in it whether we are conscious of it or not, so why not start becoming an active participant in your own joy and happiness instead of hoping it will happen by chance one day.

Today is your day and you are more powerful than you know.

Here’s what I propose, let’s start a happiness revolution, where we all start choosing joy and making choices to contribute to happiness every chance we get.

Why? Because happy people make better choices, not just for themselves, but for each other and our planet.

So, now I want to hear from you: what are your 3 steps this week, and how are you going to choose joy? Share it with me below, I love hearing from you!

Also, the next Soul Strategy is coming up soon and people have already started asking about it, so I’ve decided to open up the January Session today! I expect this one to fill quickly with the New Year approaching so don’t wait too long to save your spot.

I’ve had the pleasure of hosting 3 Soul Strategy Sessions this year, and inspiration has punched me in the genius bone to create a system with even greater and faster results than before! You won’t want to miss it!

Sign up here for more information and to register.

If you liked this post, please click one of the little boxes below to share the love on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, or forward it to all of your friends. Share the light gorgeous, and let’s illuminate the darkness together.

Love and Light,

How to change a life

Hello gorgeous,

I want to tell you about a time when I was in my early 20’s, and I had my first real grown up relationship with a sweet young man named Austin.

We met in Jasper, and although my intention was to work there just for the summer and return to university in the fall, we decided to move in together instead and we stayed there another 3 ½ years.

After that we moved to Calgary to go back to school. He took welding at SAIT, and I took graphic design at ACAD. After about 6 months though, we were not doing so well as a couple.

I had recently gotten a job at Lululemon and was really loving it there.

I loved the clothes, but more than that I was loving the culture. At that time, Lulu was still franchise, and Russ was seriously an amazing owner. With 20ish women and the odd man working there, he could have had his hands full, but he created an environment of integrity, authenticity, and a lot of fun!

Lululemon brought me to my first yoga class, taught me how to have difficult conversations, and how to create goals.

Truly, Russ and my experience at Lulu helped form my path as a yoga instructor and coach today. I will always be grateful for that time in my life, because even though I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to “be” when I grew up, I definitely learned about my passions!

One day after I came home from work, Austin looked very sad and stated that things weren’t working with us.

I kind of brushed it off and said, well let’s keep trying.

I come from a family that sticks things out no matter how bad, and one thing I knew how to do very well was how to stay.

So I asked “What do we need to do to make things better?” We had been through this before, and I thought we’d just have a talk and move on.

“I don’t want to try anymore,” said Austin quietly.

BOOM! The floor fell out from under my feet, and I was falling. The reality of what was happening was swirling around me and I had no idea what I was going to do or where the ground was.

“Okay,” I said.

That was the last night he slept there. He moved out the next day, and I was left with the emptiness and confusion of a first love break-up.

I was floored how 5 words suddenly changed everything in my life.

Nothing was the same. Who was I even without him? What did I even like? I knew what WE liked. I realized that I had lost myself somewhere.

I wasn’t just grieving the relationship, I also had the huge task of discovering who I was and rebuilding me. The worst part was, I was totally alone in a big city without him. I had nobody else.

I called Lulu the following day asking for a personal health day, and to see if someone could cover my shift for me. It was Jenn V who answered, she asked if I was alright and what was wrong.

I started crying, and told her that Austin and I had just broken up. Jenn V was shocked, and assured me that my shift would be covered.

I stammered out a “thank you,” and said, “you know what the worst part is? I’m totally alone. I have no one here and I don’t know what to do.”

“Don’t be silly, Tina,” she said “you have 15 of the best friends you will ever have right here!”

Of course I started bawling at this point, because there was a part of me that knew it was true. That store had the most loving, supportive, and compassionate environment I have ever been in. I still have friends from the 4th Street store, and love to see how their lives have grown and developed over the years.

So why do I share this story?

Not because I love sharing my ugly cry moments, but because Jenn V was my light in one of the darkest moments of my life.

She gave me the greatest gift one human can give to another: she made me feel safe.

All of us, are powerful beings. We influence our world with how we choose to live every day. We are interconnected and we touch each other all the time without even being aware of it. I don’t know if Jenn V to this day knows how powerful her words were to me and the effect she had on me.

Life is really hard for all of us.

As much as we try to control everything (you know you do!), and mitigate risks, there’s no guarantees. Every single one of us goes through loss, and a very long list of challenges and tragedies that we also share.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” -Ian Maclaren 

To be kind, is to see the humanity in front of you and to also acknowledge your own.

Kindness is the very practice of goodness. It is not being blind to suffering in front of you, but to say “me too” and “I’m in here with you.”

I know who you are, and I know what you can do. You can change the world with your smile, and you can make another person feel safe. You can change a life.

So, what’s one way you can start changing the world one life at a time?

Practice seeing people.

Look people in the eye. Smile at them. See them as friends, or even family, that you just haven’t met yet. Let them into your heart, and let yourself be moved. Most importantly, let yourself be seen by reaching out and saying “I’m in here with you, you’re safe.”

“How close does the dragon’s spume

Have to come? How wide does the crack

In heaven have to split?

What would people look like

If we could see them as they are,

Soaked in honey, stung and swollen,

Reckless, pinned against time?

– Ellen Bass, If You Knew


You might be wondering how you can live more purposefully, more impactfully, more authentically.

I’d love for you to join the Sisterhood in the Soul Strategy Sessions. Learn how to design a life that is meaningful to you, and how to live powerfully with an incredible group of women waiting to be the best friends you’ve ever had and all saying, “Me too, I’m in here with you, let’s do this!”

I always love hearing from you! What do you do to reach out to others to make them feel safe? Is that important to you? Share your comments here.

Do you know of someone who should join our Sisterhood? Sharing is caring! Share this on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, or forward to those you love. You can be the light in somebody’s day, just like Jenn V was for me. J

Thank you for being the light that you are!

Love and Light,

the best advice I ever got

I have this best friend who is honestly my soul mate, but not the life mate kind if you know what I mean.

I was living in 100 year old house separated into suites in Calgary, and Nioka was moving into the top floor. Once she settled, I asked her if she wanted to go for some Vietnamese, and that my friends, is how we fell in love…over peanut satay soup!

To this day, she is the person I want to be like most.

When I don’t know what to do, I ask myself “What would Nioka do?” Nioka is the most beautiful, kind, thoughtful, funny, silly, generous, gentle, loving, and wise person I have ever had the joy of knowing and I love her with all my heart.

It’s like that with great relationships though isn’t it?

Whether it was my best friend Nioka, or my now husband Dave, it was almost love at first sight for both of them. There are some people who come along in your life that just “get” you, and you just “get” them. It’s always easy, we laugh until we pee, hold each other during the tough stuff, and are always on each other’s side. It’s a privilege to have her as my friend, and a privilege to have a friendship like ours. I am so SO lucky. I hope with all my heart that you have someone as wonderful as I do in your corner. I’d love to hear your BFF story, and you can share that below.

I can’t remember specifically what happened anymore because it was so long ago.

But I DO know I was going through a rough spot (back then, probably boy trouble) and I didn’t know what to do. I was totally stuck and agonizing over this or that when Nioka said to me:

“You don’t have to decide right now.”

Freaking genius.

Immediately I relaxed.

My mind relaxed. I could actually think straight again, and really, I didn’t need to decide RIGHT NOW. It didn’t mean that I don’t have to decide EVER, it just meant that I didn’t have to decide right now. It created space to let the emotions pass through me, and room to make a choice that could be made from wisdom and not panic.

I always credit her for giving this advice first, but she claims it was from me.

We have given each other this advice a lot over the years, and it is always useful.

I’ll invite you to try it out this week.

Instead of forcing something, or trying to figure out the right thing to do when you are worked up: give yourself permission to not have to decide right now. Leave it for a few hours, a night, or even a week. Permit yourself to let a wonderful solution to come to you, rather than forcing one in the moment.

Here’s a little bit of why:

Notice the quality of your mind when you are relaxed and peaceful.

It feels open, spacious and there could be many great possible solutions.

Then notice the quality of your mind when you are upset and focused on solving the problem.

Your mind becomes contracted, cluttered, and myopic because it is trying to find the “one” perfect answer. Which of course there isn’t.

Sometimes the best answer is just to sleep on it, give it some time, leave it alone, and take a look at it later with fresh eyes.

I use this for the big stuff in my life and smaller things within my business. For example, I usually write my blog posts a week before I publish them for this exact reason. I write. Then leave it for a few days and come back to it to tweak it and make sure I’m clear on my message.

I’d love to hear from you now: what do you do when faced with big decisions and you aren’t sure what to do? Please share your comments below.

If you liked this post, please share it on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, and forward it to your friends. You never know how you might help someone who needs to read this today.

PS. Wanna join our tribe of empowered, loving, and inspired women who are creating their lives and cheering each other along the way? Registration for the Soul Strategy Sessions, and Soul Strategy for Business is now open and starting to fill. Click here and learn more about the Sessions.

home wrecking cornflakes and castles built from love

I had this dear friend years ago in Calgary who, when we met, was going through a divorce.

Sam was one of those people who just made you feel good being around them, and had a way about speaking deep truth with a combination of sharp wit and bittersweet poetry.

I’ll never forget what he said when I asked him why he was getting divorced. He said, “Tina, people don’t get divorced because of one big thing that happened. It’s all the little things that add up to be so big that you finally end up getting divorced because of the way your partner eats their Cornflakes.”

I was stunned. How does someone get divorced over Cornflakes?

But isn’t it always the little things that create the bomb?

The one too many times being asked what you are going to do, when you don’t know what you’re going to do. The one extra thing on your To-Do list that brings you to overwhelm. The too many times they said they would call, and then didn’t. The dishes left in the sink after coming home from a long day. The pants that finally really don’t fit, and you can no longer pretend you haven’t put on weight. The fussy copy machine that suddenly brings you to tears.

All of it has become too much and too big to handle.

It’s like you keep chucking all the hurts together into one big hurt pile that is so big, smelly, and wide, that you can’t see any way around it, and all you want to do is run away from it or do something drastic.

Just like it’s the small things that create the BIG problem. It’s the small things that also create a great life.

When my husband Dave and I first met, I had this vision of us building a castle with our love. (Did I mention I’m a romantic?)

Every kindness, every phone call, every bittersweet good bye (we did long distance for a year) was like a brick building the foundation for our life together. The more love-bricks we had, the more solid our castle would be to endure the tests of time.

Castles are also fortresses: they protect what we hold dear, and keep out unwanted invaders.

Castles require a lot of maintenance to patch the holes and build new towers to keep it strong and beautiful, so it’s important to create new bricks daily. I also use this metaphor for how I live my life. I create love-bricks by how I choose to live everyday.

So before you end up wanting to end your relationship because of Cornflakes.

Or quit your job because the copy machine is fussy, or want to run away from your life because it’s become too much to handle, try this and start building yourself a huge love-filled-joy-castle that you can lean into as support when things are challenging.

Here’s how:

  1. Flip it.

This is a game I learned from one of my sweet friends and fellow Soul Strategizer. When something looks challenging, or upsetting: flip it. Look to find the good in the situation. Being able to change your outlook is one of the most powerful things you can learn how to do to change your life.

  1. Practice Gratitude.

I teach gratitude in every single yoga class because it is a scientifically proven way to rewire your brain to be happier. The point of gratitude is not to make sure you are really grateful for a few things, it’s to teach your brain to start looking for the little wonderful things in the moment. Each time you do that, you are reminded how lucky you, are and how good your life is.

  1. Integrity.

Decide what’s really important to you and practice integrity with it every single day. If health is important to you, then make healthy meal choices, get enough sleep, and move every day. If your partnership is important make time to actually hear your partner and connect with them meaningfully every day. If joy is important to you, then do things that make you feel joyous every day. It will feel like effort in the beginning, but eventually it will just be what you do and how you live. It’s totally worth a little bit of effort now to make the rest of your life great.

  1. Create Positive Memories.

Get out and DO stuff! Go outside, meet people, listen to music, learn a new instrument, feel the wind on your skin, volunteer. My favorite memories this summer are walking my puppy Walter with my husband in the evenings. It’s time that we are guaranteed outside together and we have wonderful conversations as we try to teach our puppy to walk in the evening breeze. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you aren’t in front of a screen. Not because I have a problem with screens, I have a problem with the way we check out when we are in front of them, and most of us are in front of them A LOT. Your life is lived, not watched.

You, my friend, are a powerful being. You have the power to create anything that you want for your life, it just takes action. Every day you are creating your life, consciously or not, you are building your castle. So you might as well build it beautifully on purpose so you can aim for what you want and get closer to getting there.

Did you like this post? Then please share it on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, or forward it to a friend. You never know who you might help by sharing the love around!

I’d love to hear from you now! How do you protect yourself from the little things that can bring you down? I’d love to hear your insights below.

how to fall in love with anyone

Do you have a person in your life that makes you nuts?  A person that makes your skin prickle just by the thought of being around them, and sucks all your energy by trying to not lose it on them?

It’s all about you

I’ve got good news and some bad news. The bad news is you can’t change them, so you can quit trying. Falling in love with them isn’t about turning a frog into a prince(ss) it’s about changing our view of them. Our experience of life, and each other, is created by the lens we see through so your annoyance of your “difficult” person all comes from you and your lens. That’s the good news, because you can change how you see things and therefore shift how you see them too!

They are just being who they are

Just like you, they are just living their lives and totally unaware that they might be a difficult person to anyone. You are probably also someone’s difficult person, and you’re just going about your day being you. I promise you that they are not trying to make your life harder, or piss you off.

What we can’t tolerate in others, is what we can’t tolerate in ourselves

This could be a great learning experience for you. If you take a look at what it is about this person that is so grating, intolerable, and frustrating, you will get huge insight into what is intolerable within yourself. Where you deny love to others, is where you deny love to yourself.

To shift experience, you must shift your perspective

Not one person in the world has had your life, or can see the world the same way you do, yet we seem to expect everyone else to see the world the same way we do. Think about it, the values you were raised with, the school system you went to, the life experiences that you had, and all have shaped how you see the world and how you think things should be. No one else in the whole world has lived your life so they can’t see the world in exactly the same way as you. For example, I really like things to be orderly and “in their place” and I’m not overly concerned as much with deep cleaning really often. My husband is less concerned about tidiness, but very meticulous about washing the floors and doing deep cleans quite regularly. Who’s right in their approach? There is no right, we just have different values from our families and we act in the world through those values. And we’re actually pretty lucky because between the two of us we get it all done!

See them as Buddha, Jesus, Mother Teresa, Quan Yin or how their mother would see them.

Next time you know you will be interacting with them, decide before hand how you would like to show up. Visualize an interaction with them. Then imagine the Buddha, Jesus, Mother Teresa, Quan Yin, or even their mom (or anyone you know who is compassionate and understanding) has now taken your place. Notice how the interaction would be different. How would the compassionate body double be seeing your difficult person? How would they be speaking to them? How would it feel for you to seeing them that way? Visualize what that experience could be like so you have a clear picture of what’s possible for your interaction.

Decide to see them for the human being that they are.

Just like you, they have challenges, pain, hard relationships, joy, and are doing the best that they can. When you decide to see them as the human being they are, you are also choosing to let go of your judgement and blame. It doesn’t mean that you agree with everything that they do, you are just choosing to accept them the way they are.

Because you can’t change them anyways.

 “Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy. That is not our business and, in fact, it is nobody’s business. What we are asked to do is to love, and this love itself will render both ourselves and our neighbors worthy.”― Thomas Merton

One of the cruelest things we can do to another is to not accept them for who they are. If you’ve been the recipient of this you’ll totally understand what I’m saying. Each of us has some special gift to offer the world, and even if it’s not clear to you what theirs is yet, all you can do is love them anyways.

One last thing…

This is a practice, and you might feel really resistant to doing it because you will have to let go of your current views of this person. Your desire to not be upset and triggered by this person needs to be bigger than the need to be right and making them wrong. But, imagine how much easier your life would be if you weren’t upset by them? Are you willing to take it on and get some freedom for yourself? I hope so!

I’d like to hear from you now. What are your tricks to dealing with difficult people? Comment below, I’d love to hear from you!

Did you like this post? Then please tweet it out, post it on your Facebook page, or email it to someone who might need to read this right now. You never know who you could help just by sharing some helpful tools…

Love and Light,


Dear gorgeousness, my wonderful client, yes you…

Hello Gorgeous,

There’s something I need to share with you. We’ve been working together for a while now, and I want you to know just how much I love our time together. I see you as such a bright light in our community and I am so in love with your vision. You are going to make big things happen and I feel so honored that you chose me to be a part of your journey to get there.

I love your energy, your creativity, and your heart. I really get how passionate you are, how much you want to make a difference, and that you have a beautiful gift to share.

Working with you is the highlight of my week because you also get me and my style of support. You put your trust in me, are able to laugh at the human predicament that we are all in, and value our time together. I appreciate that because it also brings out the best in me: present, loving, compassionate, silly, honest, with a deeper listening to hear what is underneath.

You are why I do what I do. Your wonder, joy for life, your inner light, inspires me.

I care so much for you and your incredible vision that I will work my hardest to get you there. I will remember your vision when you forget, hold you accountable when doubt takes its grip, and I will stand up and cheer for you every stride you take forward. We are an unstoppable team you and I, and we can do phenomenal things together.

So, that’s what I thought you should know. Thanks for being an incredible example of a human being. You are amazing. I love you.