I made a huge mistake last week.
I put on jeans.
Jeans do not lie about the 5 extra pounds I put on over the holidays, unlike my stretchy Lululemon pants which will happily keep lying (and stretching) for probably another 15 if I’m lucky.
There’s a quote I heard from Tony Robbins that has stuck with me: “If you haven’t committed, you haven’t really decided.”
So decided, and I took a stand.
I took a stand for me.
I made a plan of what I’m going to do, and I’ve been doing it consistently for 10 days and will continue for the month of January, and recommit in February.
Why? Because I’m the most important person in my life. I am useless to everyone else if I am unhappy, tired, and sore every day.
Taking a stand is an important piece of commitment. It establishes boundaries, lets you know where you are, aaaand believes in something bigger than you.
Women are really good at taking a stand for their families, their work places, their friends, and their commitments…to others.
This year is a fresh start my friend, and I encourage you to start this year by taking a stand for yourself.
Take a stand for your health, your nurturing friendships and partnerships, take a stand for your career, and take a stand for what fills you up spiritually.
Here’s the rough, but honest truth: you cannot give to others what you don’t have for yourself.
You are your primary relationship so if you don’t have compassion for yourself, you can’t give it to others. If you don’t have kindness to others, you can’t give it to others. If you don’t love yourself….guess what?
So here’s to filling yourself up and taking a stand for your life, and here’s how:
1) Decide what you want.
There are roughly four areas of human lives: relationships, physical, career, and spirituality. There’s probably at least one of these areas that you feel you have not been nurturing for yourself.
Do you want to feel healthier? Do you want to feel more connected to your partner, your friends? Do you want to apply for a promotion, start a business, or uplevel your current business? Do you want to make more time for meditating, prayer, or spirituality?
If you focused on one area (that you know if you actually did it) would make you feel more confident and authentic, which would it be?
Write that down, and move on to number 2.
2) Get clear on your why.
This is big, and a very important piece of the puzzle for your success.
Your “why” must be so big that it will get your ass out of bed and onto the treadmill at 5am when it’s -40 and you slept like shit (my “why” is pretty freaking big apparently!).
It must be so big that when you are full of doubt at work and wondering what the hell you are doing, that you still work on applying for that promotion, or taking the next big leap in your business. It must be bigger than your fear, your doubt, and your laziness (just being honest).
Here’s a few questions to help you get clear:
What’s the real reason you want to do this? What is it that you truly want? What are you sick of and will no longer tolerate, and how will accomplishing affect that positively? How will you feel about yourself if you complete your goal? How will your life be different? What will be possible for you now? What is the big win underneath that will change everything for you if you just complete this one goal? Who will benefit from you succeeding at your goal? How will they benefit?
For me, it’s feeling good in my own skin. When I move daily I feel happier, more able to handle stress, stronger, more confident, and feel more capable in all areas of my life. Everyone in my life benefits because I’m less irritable and sore, and I’m happier so I’m a better wife, teacher, and coach. It’s never about the pants.
I can always buy more pants, but I can’t buy a better life for myself and everyone I love.
3) Create a plan.
Now that you’ve decided what you want, the next step is to make a plan to get there. Intentions are fabulous, but they are nothing without a plan to get you there.
If you leave it to chance, or when you feel like it, you won’t do it. Period.
Or maybe I should be clearer: I won’t do it, and I’m pretty sure you won’t either.
Plan for success by getting crystal clear on what your plan would look like. If it’s eating better: when are you going to meal plan and grocery shop? If it’s spending more time with your friends: when are you going to see them? If it’s applying for a promotion: what do you need to do to apply, and when are you going to do it? If it’s meditating regularly, what days and times are you going to do it and for how long?
Know what you’re going to do, when, and for how long.
4) Make that time sacred.
If you wish you had more time to meal plan, take it. Set a time and do it. Set that time aside as sacred that cannot be given to anyone else.
This goes for anything that you are taking a stand for: date nights, prayer, meditation, yoga classes, gym, career goals or nurturing relationships. Decide what you want, and don’t negotiate on that time.
You spend 23 hours a day looking after everyone else, one hour a day for you is essential.
5) Time is not finite.
You might believe that you don’t have enough time because you are already spread too thin, but it’s just not true.
We MAKE time.
There’s always enough time to do whatever we want to, we just can’t do everything. So be selective of what you are making time for.
Learn to say no to things that don’t align with you or cut into your sacred time. No is an important word to master.
Each time you say no, you say yes to something else.
6) Don’t tell anyone.
This probably goes against everything you’ve heard about goal setting, but here’s what the research says:
Telling others about your goal makes it less likely that you will complete it.
Yup. You see, when you share your goals out loud you get a good feeling, kind of like you’ve already done it. The mind mistakes talking for doing. When you keep it a secret you will likely work harder to attain that goal. If you want to see Derek Sivers Ted Talk on it you can do that here.
You are a beautiful, smart, and savvy women, make 2015 the year you don’t run on a depleted tank, spread out, and exhausted.
Take a stand for YOU because we need you to shine brightly!
I’d love to hear from you now: what are you going to stand for this year? What is going to make the difference for you in sticking to it? Please share your insights below, I love hearing from you!
Did you like this post? Then please share the love around on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, and forward this to a friend. We’re all in this together and you might make the difference in somebody’s day. 🙂
Love and Light,