the blame game

Hi Gorgeous,

Earlier last month I wrote a post on taking a stand and I want to share with you what happened while I took my own stand.

The past 6 months I have spent a LOT of time at a desk.

Far more than I have ever spent in my whole life, and it didn’t take long for me to put on some weight, get chronic low back pain, feel exhausted, and lazy.

So I took a stand for me.

I made a commitment to myself to do a minimum of 30 minutes of cardio for 30 days.

That’s it.

It has been just over 30 days now, and here’s my nugget of awesome learning that I want to share with you:

The only one who was making me feel less than awesome is me.

It’s always like that though isn’t it?

If we want things to change, we are the only ones who have the power to change them.

Here’s where I put my blame:

I blamed work.

There are just too many things to do, and only one of me to do it. I felt like everything needed to be done, like yesterday, and I was already working 60 hours a week. How could I possibly fit in anything else?

I blamed my schedule.

I’m one of those people who need routine and consistency or I am all over the place. I’m a creative and structure actually helps me thrive. So how could I possible have a structure when my schedule was all over the map?

I blamed my stress.

I said I was just too tired. I’ve had long days for a long time with lots of learning outside of my zone of genius. I felt tapped out, how could I find the energy when I was already exhausted?

In Brené Brown’s Ted Talk, she defined blame like this: a way to discharge pain and discomfort.

And I was in pain and discomfort for sure. Physically and emotionally and it was time to stop the crazy train before it got any further.

Want to know the slimiest most despicable thing about blame?

Blame gives away your power on a silver platter.

When we blame,  we make our situation is not our fault. So how could we possibly do anything about it?

As soon as I took responsibility for my life I could do something about it.

So how did I do it?

Work: I got more realistic about my timelines. I cannot do it all…at least all at once. I realized that my expectations of what I could do by myself in 6 months was insane and was going to make me crazier. I decided to give myself the time to learn and grow my business while living a life that was also wonderful instead of waiting for my life to catch up to my business.

Schedule: My schedule is what it is, and truthfully, I love it and wouldn’t change a thing about it. Also, one thing I have always known about myself is that if I don’t work out first thing in the morning, I won’t do it. So I got up earlier. Sometimes really early when I had 7am meetings. On days when I taught early morning classes, I drove straight to the gym and squeezed in a half hour run before coming home. I made it happen.

Stress: Well as we all know, stress is lowered by exercise, so that one was easy to convince me. Within my first week I started noticing a difference. Moving hard daily has boosted my creativity, energy, and my mood, all while lowering my stress levels. Totally worth the effort!

Now your turn:

1) Name it and claim it.

Where have you been playing the blame game? Where have you been giving away your power? Lovingly write it down and take responsibility for your life and where you are at with compassion. This is not about making you wrong, it’s about making things better.

2) Take a stand.

Decide what that stand is going to look like and make a commitment to do it. Get really specific of how you are going to do it and when. Intention is nothing without action so make a plan of how you will follow through. Make sure it’s doable!

3) Set a timeline.

I really enjoyed having a 30 day timeline. Not just to have an end date (I’ve recommitted to my intention with a few more tweaks for February), but because it gave me a date that I could reflect on my experience. Once you are at the end of your timeline: look at what worked, what didn’t, and how you’re going to do it differently next time (if it is continuing like mine), or would do it differently. Insight is power.

4) Celebrate!

Once my 30 days were over, I spent some time reflecting on my experience and celebrating all the wonderful things that happened because of it. The big one that I always get from these kinds of personal challenges is: confidence. Confidence is gained by taking risks and doing things that are hard. We prove to ourselves what we are capable of and that spreads into all areas of our lives. Once your timeline is over, write down all the wonderful successes you’ve gained and celebrate!

I want to hear what you are going to take a stand for this month!

Go through the first 3 steps and share your stand on the blog below. If you’re using social media and want to share your journey, use the hashtag #soulstrategy so I can follow you and cheer you on!

Did you like this post? Then please share the love on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, and forward it to all of your friends. This may be exactly what they need to hear today!

With love and gratitude,

t

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