what to do with doubters

My biggest regret of my 20’s was that I didn’t have enough confidence to pursue what I really wanted until I was in my 30’s.

When I was 25, I knew I wanted to be a Coach. I didn’t know what that could look like but I knew that’s what I wanted to do. When I lived in Calgary, I even went to check out Haskayne School of Business’s Coaching program because that’s the only one I knew of.

But I didn’t sign up, and there’s 2 reasons why:

  • The college was a business college and I had no desire to get a business certification and had no experience in business at that point.
  • I was not a 50 year old woman in a grey suit, so I had no idea how I could possibly be a coach.

But the biggest reason, is that I was always encouraged to get a more ‘stable’ job.

You know what I mean: something with a steady income, benefits, and the fancier the title the more secure it would be.

So, kept going back to school and trying to find that right ‘fit’ which never came.

When I was 29, I finally did it, I took my coaching certification and my yoga teacher training!

Now don’t get me wrong, as much as I had pressure to get a more stable career, my mom has been a huge supporter of all my dreams.

Yes, even the one about becoming a famous fashion designer (I could have been a damn good one too. You should have seen the amazing shit I came up with at 9 years old!).

However, we never really escape the fears of our loved ones do we?

My mom supported us from the time I was 6 on commission. I know that was the hardest thing in the world for her to do and she wouldn’t wish that on me in a million years. So naturally she would want me to have a regular paycheck, with low risk, and less demands on my time.

Other people in my life just didn’t understand, because the things that interested me weren’t conventional.

Also the things that interested me didn’t have status, or even seem like a job. (Yes, yoga teaching is an actual profession!)

Here’s the thing about advice: other people’s cautions, are just giving voice to THEIR own fears. Feel free to Tweet that.

They aren’t just telling you what you should be afraid of, they are telling you what they ARE afraid of.

So if you have a dream, and you have doubters, here’s what you should know:

  • Doubters are giving voice to their OWN fears.

Understand that they are giving voice to their biggest fears: instability, fear of loss, what others might think of them, losing everything to pursue a dream, and of course failure. Chances are that if you have doubters, it’s because they love you and want to protect you, but you do NOT have to buy into their story. That’s their stuff, and you don’t have to own it.

  • Even if you have a ‘stable’ career, there are no guarantees.

The average person will have at least 5 different careers, no jobs, careers. Any of us can get fired, laid off, or transferred at any time. Thinking that you have your career locked in just because you are paid by someone else is an illusion.

  • You have 1 life and you will spend the majority of your waking hours at work.

It’s not worth your life to sacrifice it to a job you resent, and/or doesn’t make the most of your talents and gifts. You are in fact ripping off the world. Stop it, we need you.

  • Your calling is a part of your make up.

What you are interested in, your talents, skills, history, inspiration, creativity is unique to you. If you start paying attention, it will start to materialize. Don’t worry if you don’t have it figured out yet, just start paying attention today.

  • Your life is your message.

What are you willing to get behind? The choices you make define your life. What are your choices saying about you, and where you are in your life right now? What do you want it to say? What choices can you make now to start becoming the person you are meant to be?

  • No one can truly know what is in your heart but you.

You are the only one you have to answer to at the end of your life. Will you have felt like you gave it your best? Will you feel like you contributed, like you were able to be used for something important? When you do what is right in your heart, the rest will fall into place. Trust me, there is a market for everything. Fulfillment comes from being used by a purpose larger than yourself.

  • Lastly, hire a coach.

Even if you never work with me, hire someone to be on your team, who gets your vision, and is determined to help you win. Coaches can see the larger picture, help you move through fear and doubt with grace, and keep you in action when you get stuck. You will get farther faster, with more ease and fun with a coach, I promise.

The New Year is fast approaching, and this is a time of renewed commitments and also creating inspired intentions for 2015. If you are ready to take on this year with heart, then I want to hear from you. I have a few spots opening up in the New Year for one on one clients to support them in creating clarity on their purpose, and creating a strategy to get there. Click here for a totally free Alignment Call and let’s create some magic for you this January!

If groups are more your thing, The Soul Strategy Sessions are incredible and filling up fast! The Sessions are for ambitious women who love to learn and grow together. You will learn how to create goals based on soul, reveal your light, and create action to get you where you are going.  Also, the price is going up $50 at 5pm tonight, and I don’t want you to miss out!

I always love hearing from you gorgeous: how do you deal with doubters, whether it’s your own or someone else’s? I can’t wait to see you in the comments below.

Did you like this post? Then please share it with all of your friends on Facebook, Tweet is out loud, and forward it to everyone you know! We all need support, and this might be exactly what someone you know needs to read today.

Thank you for continuing to let me into your inbox and your heart every week. I love you like a crazy person!

Love and Light,

t

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