Every night after stories I lay in bed with my son under the light of his owl nightlight and stroke his hair as we chat. We talk about nothing, his day, problems he’s having, or anything he wants to talk about.
My husband often calls this time, “honest time” because its when the important things in his life or big questions come out.
It’s honest time for me too in a way. I’m often so preoccupied getting meals on the table and getting us sorted out in the evening that I’m not as present as I’d like to be.
But in those moments, I am really WITH him. I see him. I see the goodness and beauty of this magical little being, and I am filled with love and awe of him. The word I think of here is to “behold” him because it feels so sacred.
No matter what kind of day we’ve had, I tell him, “I love you always, no matter what. There is nothing you can do or say that will change that. I will always love you.”
I hope to instill in him trust in my love, so that he feels safe coming to me with whatever is going on with him.
And I want him to know and trust I see his goodness even when he struggles.
We all need that reminder. Because life is hard, and we are full of big emotions and reactivity and sometimes we don’t behave our best. Even as a 44-year-old woman.
You may not have, or have ever had, a loving mother laying next to you in awe of your existence that tells you they love you no matter what.
And you can still give that same love, presence and validation to yourself now, and it is life giving.
Close your eyes and lay a hand on your heart. Feel your breath and your heart rise and fall. Sense the part of you that was born into this body- already whole, innocent, and inviolable. Feel into goodness that is here and silently say to yourself, “I’m a good person, even when I’m having a hard time.”
There is no doubt in my mind that this is true.
You are inherently good and deserving of love and compassion, no matter what.
It is who you are, and I see you.
PS. If you’d like more self-love practices, you can download my free Self-Love Practices for Busy Moms here now.