It’s been a while now, hasn’t it? I hope you are doing well and are as excited to connect with me as I am with you!
I had big plans to maintain AT LEAST my blog after Magnus was born, and I did pretty good for a while, and then my plans went to shit. Sorry about that.
I started doing it all, even though I didn’t know what the hell I was even doing, and subsequently my sweet Magnus wasn’t putting on weight because my supply dropped so drastically. Shit got real, and my main focus was on him and me and getting the T&M team nursing team back on track.
Everything worked out fine after a shit tonne of pumping, supplementation, tears (from both of us), and cuddly nursing time. But damn it was a lot of work!
My husband has been away the past few weeks seeding at his friend’s farm (my husband not so secretly wants to be a farmer when he grows up!), so Magnus and I have been largely on our own.
This week I’ve been taking Magnus running with me in the jogger, and when I got home sweaty and happy on this sunny morning I panicked as I looked at the time (babies are on a schedule if you didn’t know) and thought to myself exasperatedly:
“There’s just not enough time to do everything!”
I mean how do we put ourselves and our self-care on “The List” when there are so many things that demand our attention?
I’m teaching yoga, taking care of a baby and our brown dog, making baby food, the never ending heaps of baby puke covered laundry, planning two new Soul Strategy Sessions, doing a very bad job of looking after the house and yard, and did I mention taking care of a baby?
There is only so much time after all.
Almost immediately after I had complained that there’s not enough time, I realized that there has never been a time in my life that I have not said those words.
I have said them when I was a student, when I worked one job, two jobs, no jobs.
I have said them on vacation and in the office.
I have said them with a baby and without a baby.
I have said those words most of my life…and I would put money on it that you have too, regardless of your circumstances.
So what’s this nonsense about putting yourself on the list for self-care?
It’s a ridiculous term.
Why? Because you ARE the goddamn list!
To say anything else is disempowering and buying into victim mentality…and if you read my blog, I know you aren’t a victim. You are a grown ass woman who handles shit!
Remember: There is no list without you.
You are the creator and the completer of the list. You are the only one in control of that list, so why WHY do you need to put yourself on it.
Time is limited, it’s true, so we all need to prioritize where we want to focus our time.
Your To-Do list is not where you should be putting your needs and self care, because To-Do lists are fluid and most often never completed (don’t tell me it’s not true, I know how you roll).
So guess what gets moved to the bottom of that list? You guessed it: YOU.
Notice how eating isn’t on the To-Do list? Neither is bathing, brushing your teeth, going to work, or picking up your children. They are givens. So should taking care of you.
You are the most important person in your life, and if you have a family, your family’s life.
The health of everyone around you is affected by your wellbeing.
Please, stop waiting until there’s time to do what makes you feel whole because there will never be enough time.
Make it a habit that is built into your day. Whether it’s first thing, last thing, at noon, it doesn’t matter. Make that time non-negotiable and do what makes you feel good daily.
In the brief time I have been a parent, I can tell you that I am 100 times nicer, more patient, present, productive, creative, and more fun to be around if I’ve had even a short workout or run. It’s never been about appearance for me, it is essential for my mental health and now the health of my family.
I AM the list and I OWN the list.
Nothing gets done until I do me first, then everything else is figure-out-able.
Some might say it’s selfish, but have you ever met a happy martyr?
I sure haven’t! So I call it being “self-full” which is a much nicer term, isn’t it?
I’d love to hear from you now: Do you make To-Do lists, and do you put yourself on it? Does it work for you? How do you make sure you take care of your needs everyday? Do you love lists, or hate them? Tell me all about it either in the comments below.
Thank you for letting me into your inbox and your life. I am so excited to see your beautiful self again so soon! I missed you like crazy and I hope you did too!