Do you ever get stuck trying to make a decision? Maybe you decide and then you wonder if it actually is the right thing to do and then start weighing your options again? And then again?
Before I sent the post “5 things I learned from a life changing moment at 17” I was agonizing over whether to send it or not.
On one side, it was an intensely personal post and I was worried how it would be received by you, and my family, because it didn’t show the best shiniest side of me or my past and that’s a vulnerable place for me to be. Then the other side, was screaming at me to send it, believing it would make a difference for someone who needed support right now, and just wanting to be honest. I am human, I have a past.
I’m also vibrant, loving, courageous, and creator of my future.
My past is over and it doesn’t have a charge for me anymore, so why wouldn’t I use my story to help someone else? That sealed it for me, and with shaking hands I hit “send” and waited for the response…and respond you did! Thank you.
Here’s some things to consider when you’re having a hard time making a decision:
1) There is no “perfect” or “right” decision.
The mind is an interesting process. In meditation we often talk about the mind being spacious or contracted. When our mind is spacious, there are multiple solutions to any one problem. When our minds are contracted, we are focused on finding just one. How this relates to making decisions is that when we are contracted and trying to find the “perfect” solution, we can’t open to the great multiple solutions that might be out there, we get fixated on finding just the one perfect solution. Perfection doesn’t exist, so we get stuck. It’s like a crappy cycle that keeps repeating itself over and over again.
1) Know that any decision is better than no decision.
If you choose to continue to weigh out your options over and over again you are in effect taking yourself out of power. Your power is in choice, so decide and be okay with it. It’s just a choice.
2) There are no bad decisions only choices.
Taking a stand and making a decision can be scary for a lot of us, because we worry what people will think, or that we will be responsible if it doesn’t work out, or that if we make the “wrong” decision we might fail. No matter what you decide, it’s just a choice. There are no bad decisions that come from a place of trying to do what’s right and good. If you do what you believe is right, than be at peace with it.
3) You can’t predict what’s going to happen no matter what you choose.
Trying to make the “right” decision is one of the ways we try and control our futures. We tell ourselves that if we make the “right” choice then things will be okay. The problem is that we can make all the right choices, and do the right things, and still get cancer, lose our jobs, and fail miserably. We simply can’t control what’s going to happen so relax and decide on what feels good in your heart today with the intention it will positively impact tomorrow.
4) There will always be consequences.
Even if you don’t choose, you are still making a choice not to choose. Choosing or not choosing will both have their consequences. The difference is that when you decide, you are at the helm of your destiny instead of being at the mercy of what life throws at you. Personally, I’d rather be at the helm and know the consequences are mine to own.
5) You can always choose again or change your mind later.
You can always make another choice. Just because you decided one thing today, doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind tomorrow. That’s the beauty of free will, and also, dare I say: integrity. What I mean by integrity, is that if you made a decision based on what you feel is right and good in your heart, and it no longer aligns, then standing in integrity would be make a different decision that would align with your heart. Even if it means doing something radically different.
6) Deciding actively means to actively engage in life.
When you decide, you are interacting with life instead of being a victim to it. This life is full of all kinds of gifts and hardships, and we can’t control what it gives us or when. The only thing that we can control is how we engage with it and that means making choices about our behavior, or lives, and our hearts. To choose means to be an active participant in your life.
Now I’d like to hear from you! What do you consider when you are making decisions? What is important to you when you working on major decisions?
Did you like this post? Then please share it on Facebook, send it to your friends, and Tweet it out! You never know who can use some support right now, and you might be the one to make that difference for them.