Being a woman is hard work, and maybe that’s why we have so much stress.
As women, we work harder in every area of our lives and then consequently have to prove that we deserve it.
Everything in our culture screams at us that we need to be more:
More sexy, more youthful, more skinny, more assertive, more kind, more compromising, more as a mother, more as a woman, more time at work, more beautiful, more educated, more important, more of a wife/partner, more independent, more available, more involved, more healthy, more active, more inspired, more roles, more open (but only about what others want to hear), more vulnerable, more resilient, more grit, more successful, more ambitious, more of a homemaker, more of a cook, more thoughtful, more of a homemaker, more flexible, more passionate, more vocal, more silent, more understanding, more willing, more wealthy, more compromising…its always more, and it’s too fucking much.
It’s no wonder we are frazzled, overwhelmed, stressed, and anxious.
We have an insurmountable pressure to be all things to everyone AND be all the things listed above. As a result, it’s an impossible situation.
This is why I created the programs and tools I offer: to reclaim yourself.
Anxiety and stress are symptoms of a larger systemic problem within our culture. We have too many pressures (umm, did you see the list above? And it’s not even complete!), information overload, longer work days than every before (with constant contact), less free time, and have less face to face connection. And purpose, meaning? Who has time for that?
Stress is a direct result of the tension between the expectations of others (perceived or real) which are in constant conflict with our inner compass.
We know, deep down that what we are being fed is bullshit.
But we are steeped in it, and then choking down more by the spoonful because we are also trained to be good girls from a very young age.
The tools I teach are universal that anyone can use and they are easy enough to implement for even the most time starved women because they are just simple lifestyle tweaks to make your life better, calmer, and more meaningful.
It’s not easy to shed the expectations of being the perfect mom when everyone you know is volunteering at the school and you’re working 10 hour days.
Or the guilt that weighs on all women, because we can’t possible be and do all the things expected of us.
Or the insecurity of never feeling like we know enough, are prepared enough, or are good enough, and above all that deep secret that so many of us carry: that really we’re a fraud.
So how do we change this?
It takes a brave decision: to be more conscious in how you live and work. Here’s how to start now:
- Start questioning why you do the things you do and if they are really serving you on any tangible level.
- Be more aware of the things that sap your energy and those that revive it.
- Play more. Do things for the sake of enjoyment and don’t be afraid to get silly. Women start to lose this ability as adolescents and it is a crucial part of our well-being.
- Be mindful of how much you use devices. Set strong limits, and be committed to seeing people in person, or at least on the phone.
- Decide that you time is non-negotiable, and stick to it.
- Nourish your body and move it regularly.
- Be in control of the media you consume. If it doesn’t lift you up, ditch it, life’s too short for that.
- Love your dear ones fiercely. Undistracted focused time is the most valuable thing you can offer anyone and is essential for lasting loving relationships.
- Finally, give yourself a lot of slack. You are a woman navigating a challenging world with impossible expectations, learn to be your own best ally.
I’d love to hear from you now: what would you add to the “more” list? What pressures do you feel the most as a woman? Also, does time fly faster when you have kids?
I can’t wait to read what you have to say in the comments below!