You know those times that something happens that makes you angry, and you haven’t had the chance to confront it yet? So you’re just going over and over all the scenarios of how you’re going to handle it?
And all of the situations of “handling it” has to do with losing it and making the person/situation understand how mad you are?
Or maybe it’s not something that makes you see red, but something that has hurt your feelings?
Or maybe you feel taken advantage of?
Or maybe you feel like you have to say something and you know it’s not going to come out right because there are too many feelings in the way?
In those moments you may not know be able to figure out the best way to handle it because you know you are too emotional to respond effectively.
Here’s what you need to do, ask yourself:
“What would Nioka do?”
Or Jesus, if you don’t know Nioka.
Sometimes (or a lot of times) things happen, and we get very caught up in our emotions and may not have the capacity to bring our best self to the surface to handle situations.
I know that my first reaction is blame, and I want them to KNOW that it’s their fault, why, and have a temper tantrum about it.
I want them to GET how I feel, and have them feel very bad for making me feel that way.
Then, I want to have them feel so bad that they get down on their knees and beg for my forgiveness for notputtingthedishesinthedishwasherinsteadofthesinkwhichisrightfuckingnexttoitforfuckssake!
Or something like that…
When you imagine the situation with Nioka (or Jesus, Quan Yin, Mother Teresa, Buddha, or whomever) in your place. You’ll see another less emotion driven possibility that accesses your higher self and an alternative option that you may not have been able to see in your hurt state.
So instead of losing my mind over something trivial like dishes in the sink, I might imagine Nioka in that situation and what she would do.
I would see her notice the dishes, and keep walking because she doesn’t care enough about them and she cares A LOT about her wonderful husband who does a billion other things for her every single day.
So many things in fact, that she often takes them for granted because he’s just that thoughtful and kind.
In my self righteous angry state, I wouldn’t be able to see that possibility because in anger (and the tail of anger: hurt) is “all about me.”
In Nioka’s or Jesus’s state, I can see things with more clarity and balance.
The other benefit, is that it gives enough space that we can take a moment to decide what kind of outcome to we really want. Rather than reacting to a situation in a way we may later regret.
Space is good when we are fired up.
Do you know what else is good?
Chocolate covered marshmallows, homemade woolen socks, and my dogs feet that smell like popcorn.
I’d love to hear from you now in the comments below: Who would you imagine to be, and why? What else do you think is good besides space and babies?
If you liked this post please share it! Share on Facebook, Tweet it out loud, and forward it to anyone who might need to read this right now. Never forget: you are the light, so shine brightly my friend.