What’s your dream life?
If you are planning on hiring a coach (or mentor for that matter), it’s recommended that you hire someone who’s already at where you want to be.
Everyone (at least in my coaching world) talk about 2 things that they are constantly trying to sell you:
- Your dream life.
- Creating a 6 figure business.
They are often sold with images of a luxurious lifestyle that include a LOT of money, plenty of travel, and a laptop lifestyle.
My problem with that, is that often these “dreams” are contingent on externals and having the “right” things, and THEN finally you can be happy.
I call bullshit.
Not only that, but most of these coaches that I know work 80 hour weeks and have a large support team to pay for so they only take home a fraction of what they say they do. Don’t even get me started on the happiness part of it, because I don’t see a lot of balance there.
I’ve been doing this work for 8 years, and never, and I mean NEVER have I had a client become happier once they got more stuff, better stuff, or more money.
Where I HAVE seen clients become happier is when they stopped looking at what they were missing, and started looking inside at what makes them feel happy and fulfilled and did more of that.
(If you haven’t done the Perfect Day Exercise, click here to get my free training to help you get clear on what actually makes you happy – and it doesn’t have anything to do with a new Louis Vuitton handbag)
Happiness is what we are all after when we are dreaming about our dream life. We want to feel inspired, content, at ease, confident, and like we are making a difference.
The problem is that happiness can’t be accomplished through stuff, or getting “somewhere” in life.
In fact, it’s the opposite.
Happiness comes from the inside out.
Looking to externals is looking to the outside to fill the inside, and it just doesn’t work. We’ve all tried it, and we don’t need to go there.
Happiness comes from what we give, not what we get.
Last night I completed a powerful group coaching session with women that I love and genuinely care for, had a cuddle with my sweet dog, and while I was brushing my teeth I could hear my wonderful husband downstairs working on renovations.
It was then that I had an insight that kind of rocked me: I was living my dream.
No, it’s not a 6 figure business that has me travelling glamorously around the world while I sipped expensive wine.
It’s not a high status job that has a tonne of people working under me.
It’s also not fancy, with luxurious stuff.
But it is MY dream, and absolutely my version of success.
I am blessed to have found and married the greatest man I have ever known. I adore, admire, and am truly crazy about him. He is more than everything I could have hoped for, and the best part is: he loves me just as much back and now we’re starting our family together.
I feel like I make a meaningful difference for people every day so my heart overflows and I go to bed every night feeling blessed.
I love my career so much that it rarely feels like work and it consistently inspires and delights me…aaand pinch me: I get paid to do it.
I have time to do things that are important to me, like spending time with friends, reading books, fitness, yoga, meditation, and learning about anything that peaks my curiosity.
I am 100% authentic every single day. What you see is what you get and I never try to be someone else for anybody.
I live aligned with my values and what’s most important to me. I never compromise and never feel I have to.
My life is balanced with healthy boundaries and I am truly joyful.
I do what I want. This is HUGE for me!
I understand and love myself unconditionally and wholly. I am on my own side and am a great cheerleader for myself.
Every day I feel like I have meaningful interactions with people. Whether it’s with friends and family, my clients, or the server, I feel connected.
I remember daily, that I am also connected to something greater and that it is my privilege to serve others because we are all one and the same.
Is it glamorous? Probably not.
Am I so happy that I have a shit eating grin every night that I go to bed?
Absolutely. I feel like I’ve won.
Why do I share all this with you? It’s not to boast about how awesome my life is (although if you want to tell me that I won’t argue with you), but it’s to give you another perspective of success.
Is success really about having the right title, the right bank statement, or the right stuff?
Some people will tell you that. Go ahead and try it, I haven’t met a person yet who achieved happiness that way.
I’m going to ask you to go deeper.
When you really think about what a perfect day would look like to you, what comes up for you? Who would be there? What would you be doing? How would you be feeling? What values are being honored there?
THIS is where you access your key to happiness. This is how you start to work from the inside out.
So, I want to hear from you: tell me about your perfect day and what about it is different than your current life? Then share with me one thing that you are going to do to move towards it in the comments below.