Why we need to stop the focus on self-care and do this instead.

Do you struggle with self-care?

I know I do. Although I was no superstar at self-care before having my son, I became hopeless afterwards.

I’ve always hated the word self-care. To me, it sounds to indulgent, to expensive, and to be honest…to prissy for something I’m interested in.

It also screams manicures, spa days, and book clubs. None of which I have time for and seem far too sporadic for the daily support I need to keep this mama, wife, and my business trucking.

But self-maintenance? That’s something I can get behind. Self-maintenance is like brushing my teeth. It’s the non-negotiable shit I have to do to keep me healthy and sane.

This is a pic of Magnus and me at 6am this morning heading out for our run. My husband has been out of town for over a week and this mama needs her runs to function.

 

This is not self-care to me, this is as important as brushing my teeth, having a shower, or eating healthy foods.

If I called it “self-care” I probably wouldn’t prioritize it as much as I do. Like the $100 gift card to a beautiful spa that has been burning a hole in my pocket for FOUR YEARS. It was baby gift from Lululemon and I swear, the ONLY reason I used it now is because I am too cheap to throw away $100 and we move out of province next week. (Can you even believe it!!!)

I had been saving it for a facial for “just” the right occasion. You know what I’m talking about, right?

I was saving it for when I REALLY needed it, or when there was something special coming up that I wanted to feel my best for, or…I don’t really know, but I had every excuse not to use it until now.

And yes, I had a facial and it was SO dreamy. Actually, it was the best.

And yes, even while I was enjoying every second of the wonderfulness of the spa experience I was wondering, “why didn’t I use this sooner? I could have come 10 more times and even bring my friends!”

But I didn’t, and I know I wouldn’t. This kind of self-care is not what keeps me ticking and I would never prioritize it. It’s the self-maintenance ones that I do.

This kind of self-care is like guacamole with nachos: it’s an amazing addition when it’s there, it adds another layer of deliciousness that is so good I would eat it with a spoon, and I actually prefer it to salsa.

But the nachos would not be nachos without the chips. The chips are what carry all the other good stuff, they are the vehicle that makes the nachos possible. If the vehicle is not there and happy, it doesn’t matter what toppings you put on them, there’s nothing there to hold them.

We need self-maintenance to take care of the chips to be the best nachos we can be. Personally, I like the Que Pasa brand.

Fuck, now I’m hungry and it’s only 10am. Is that too early for nachos?

A few other self-maintenance items I do everyday to take care of my own chips are meditating, calling my friends regularly (not just texting, it doesn’t count), and doing at least 5 minutes of yoga daily.

I credit my happiness, creativity, and health to this shift in mindset.

So here’s what I wish you for you: that you always make time to take care of your Que Pasa chips (read the blog, you’ll get it), and not wait 4 years to enjoy the guacamole.

How about you? Tell me what you think of the word self-care. Do love it, hate it, or something else entirely?

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